How do you just...pick a new name?

[Keroppi]

I have a gender neutral foreign translated name, so I might not actually legally change it. But I have started in some cases to use an English name again. I only done that for a couple of years as a boy after I moved to the UK before I reverted to using my legal foreign name. However, I have used my full initials to sign off in messages etc. and been referred to by such. That particular initial sounds very very close to a girl name, and I am happy to have that girl name as my name. It even let me keep my initial so long as I choose an appropriate middle name, and I have one in mind from personal experience of people I know.

[annette]

Hi Aidan

It's strange but I asked my parents how they should call me when I was born a girl.
Well, now I'm named to my mother.
I did n't change it further.
So my name is given to me by my parents.

hugs
annette

[Jalene E.]

I drove myself nuts trying to come up with a name. I knew I wanted a name that was light years apart from my birth name because all my life I hated my birth name because it did not fit my identity, I even hated telling people what my birth name was. So I had need to have a new name no where close. I had to just give up trying to think of a name and told myself, let your sub concious pick a name and I stopped thinking about it.

This was at a time when I was doing legal work for an environmental group that was fighting a county government over wetlands being drained so I had my brain in full gear doing case studies and working with the county attorney on environmental law so my new name was very far away from me. Then one day I was working on an Environmental Assesment Worksheet for the state when suddenly it hit me. The name Jalene Marie came screaming into my mind out of no where. I actually felt shocked because it seemed as if someone behind me shouted the name. That's how I got my name and it is so far from my given name that the two could never be mistaken. So that's my story.

[A]

Personally, I read a book series where there are, like, 150 characters, the names of which are listed at the beginning. (Les Chevaliers d'Émeraude / translated version is The Knights of Emerald, from Anne Robillard). Then I came upon one name that I liked and, contrarily to the one I had half-chosen, that one did not make me sound like a 80-year-old.

You can do something similar : browse a list of names.

If you place a great deal of trust on your parents, you can ask them to rename you. After all, people do not choose their names, most of the time. I will probably ask my mother to choose my new middle name, too, because mine is everything but female, and I could not care less about such a name I will never use. It will make her happy. Maybe.

[niamh]

I will change my whole name, first, middle and last because men and women have different forms of surname. I took my first and middle name from mythology, the middle one being Niamh cause it is both a popular name but I love how it sounds and what it means. Also as a tribute to my former self my new first name starts with the same letter and is the same length.

It was a long process, it took some four years and I went through a couple of changes along the way but one's name is so important and I wanted it to feel right. With time and a few tweaks along the way I now have a name that I love, that I feel that suits me and that I feel represents me. Now I feel like I just couldn't have any other name!

[azSam]

I asked my mom what she would have named a girl if she had one. She said Samantha. So that's what I chose. It's not a name I dislike. And taking the actual choice out of the equation and letting someone else choose made it a lot easier for me to settle on my name. She also seems to be attached to "Jean" as my middle name.

She calls me "Samantha Jean (Surname)".

[NightWing]

(butting in here)

I had the same problem.  My name can easily flip from girl to boy and boy to girl spelling.  But, from so many years of having it associated with a girl meaning, I hate it.  I spent a while worrying about it, not knowing what to have my future name as.  It hit me eventually that I had been using my new name all along.  Most of my user names in various places have the word "Rain" in them, and it fits me.  It's who I feel I am.  You just gotta feel it.  It'll hit you one day if you're stuck.  Just browse names, think about what all you've been called, keep an open mind. 

Unless, ya know, you're happy with the girl alternative of your current name, then go with that. 

[AmySmiles]

I think you just need to get a feel for a name you like by trying it out for a while.  I have the "original" male first name, which I've always hated, but I still wanted to keep the letter A.  I tried April first for a while, then Amy.  Amy stuck because I like the name, I like what it means, and it's what my parents would have named me.  What's not to like?

[A]

Be careful, though :

-Choosing a rare or unpopular name WILL attract attention, and can help clocking you.
-Keeping your old gender-neutral name endangers stealth.
-Choosing a name similar to the old one (John -> Joan) endangers stealth.
-Not changing your last name can make you get recognized.
-Changing your last name might create tension with your parents.

[Kairi]

I always liked the phonetic of K and so I tried to play around with names beginning with K. I had many ideas but none of them turned out to be overly brilliant to be used as something permanant. I settled for Kairi in the end as this is the name of a character in a video game which I enjoyed playing a few years ago just as I was experimenting with names. The first time I heard this name in the game I fell in love with it and within minutes, the decision was made. It is Japanese origin and since I am ethnically Chinese, the name goes not seem too out of place if at all.

My male name also incidentally begins with the letter K. I asked my mother why did she chose this name for me, it turned out that she didn't, but got a whole bunch of relatives to brainstorm a list of names which was then picked out from a hat. It turned out that I was named like that. Pretty unthoughful me thinks... hmmm... 

I have no intention of hijacking this thread, but whilst I am on it, how would you pronounce "Kairi"? I am aware of a pronounciation ambiguity since not too long ago...

[regan]

-Choosing a rare or unpopular name WILL attract attention, and can help clocking you.

And apparently so will not flushing while you pee when you're pre-op.  Who really pays attention to these things?  I'm constantly amazed at the diversity of names here in the south.  The fact is that all sorts of people have rare/unpopular names and are anything but trans.  Lots of people here have last names as their first name due to family history, etc. 

Its not like we wear name tags in public and someone's going to instantly realize Amanda is really A Man, Duh...

-Keeping your old gender-neutral name endangers stealth.
-Choosing a name similar to the old one (John -> Joan) endangers stealth.
-Not changing your last name can make you get recognized

Again, true stealth is only possible if you move to the middle of nowhere and no one from your male life knows where you went or what your new name is.
.
-Changing your last name might create tension with your parents.

Outing yourself as trans might create tension with your parents.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but pick a name that makes you happy and don't worry about the rest of it. 

[muiredachau]

1) my female name didnt really have a male alternative ex - samantha changes to samson

Sam, Samuel

[Janet_Girl]

Mine actually come from my favorite movie and one of my favorite actresses.  Her name is Susan Sarandon and the movie, if you haven't guess, is The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  (Dammit Janet)

My middle name was a version of my ex's first name.

I did later find out that Janet is a female version of my old male name.

[niamh]

I have no intention of hijacking this thread, but whilst I am on it, how would you pronounce "Kairi"? I am aware of a pronounciation ambiguity since not too long ago...

English orthography: keye-ree with the vowels being eye and the ee in freedom.

[Michael Joseph]

Hi Aidan

It's strange but I asked my parents how they should call me when I was born a girl.
Well, now I'm named to my mother.
I did n't change it further.
So my name is given to me by my parents.

hugs
annette

I actually did the same exact thing, my mom said she would have named me Michael or Isaac, and I always liked the name Michael, so I figured choosing a name my mom wouldve chosen would have made her happy and feel part of it. Its all up to you though, the name you really end up liking.

[LordKAT]

There is nothing wrong with my birth name except that it isn't really mine. I named me like I named my kids, from a dream.  My girls do have very unusual names tho. One is a number and one is German first and Norwegian second name.  Go figure. The other girl I didn't name.

Boys for some reason, ended up with biblical names. One boy has a name I have rarely heard until recently. Maybe he is more popular than I dreamed.

Point is, we all have different methods for choosing our name. The method you use is up to you. The name is up to you. Whether you ask a parent, read a list, change a few times, or dream of it, you will know when you've found it. You will have an easier time figuring that out if you relax and let your mind flow free. Then you will just 'know'!

[Cruelladeville]

In a weird way I always believe ma journey was ma destiny...

So I used my real second (male) name....which can be female too - so no change there, just ditched the first one.... which also does in fact have a feminized option...

And also kept my surname as I loved my Pa.... and its who I be....

So i've always kept it real so to speak....

Works for me.......*s->-bleeped-<-s*

[Kairi]

English orthography: keye-ree with the vowels being eye and the ee in freedom.

Yes, that is indeed the correct and intended pronounciation. I had people saying it in a way which rhymes with fairy, which to be fair, is also a legit pronounciation in English, but not in Japanese which is pronounces per syllable Ka-i-ri. I find that the English language is littered with pronounciation exceptions and names are not any different.

[Keroppi]

With name, it is usually just whatever the named person intends it to be.

[A]

Well, you do have a rare name. Foreign and rare names do this effect. For example, mine is French (where I live people speak French) (Ariane - OMFG I said it). I would not expect english people to pronounce it correctly (Ah-ree-ah-n). They will most probably do something like Ey-rye-ey-ne.