A Brief Introduction

[sarahla]

Veck,

Thanks for the comment.  I literally just put on a blouse, snapped a quick photo from my web cam, and posted it after cropping off the sides.  Looking good on the outside, though, is a start.  One has to feel good on the inside.

Do you like Star Trek?

Why do I ask?  Spock, my hero in my youth and still, had a belief, IDIC.  Actually, it was Gene Roddenberry's philosophy and one in which I strongly agree.

IDIC:  Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

For the longest time, I did not understand what that fully meant.  I kind of did, but not really.  It took me many years to realize Gene's wisdom.  Think of a rainbow.  There are not discrete colors, but an infinite spectrum of colors.  All areas of nature are comprised of an infinite rainbow and combinations of colors.  Gender is no different.

People like to think of gender as a binary pole, but gender is as fluid and beautiful as everything else in nature.  Yes, people for the most part fall biologically into one of two camps, but even there there are an infinite rainbow of colors.  Think intersexed, androgynous, girls who grow up and suddenly get a penis (vice versa too).  I had this happen in my high school.  The high school paper wrote about it.  Why I did not make friends with (him? her?) is beyond me.  We were natural friends.  Within the transsexual community, there are many colors too.

You have to find, where you fit in and where you feel comfortable.  Maybe for you, being an efeminite male is enough.   Maybe you would like to be just a cross dresser.  Maybe you want to be feminine, but on the male side.  Maybe you want to be a non-op transsexual.  The list is endless.  You have to find your own path and feel things out.  One of the reasons that I am taking as long as I am is because of that.

I keep reading that many transsexuals cut themselves and hate their penises.  I would not say that I like it, because I do not and dislike looking at it, but I do not "hate" it either.   I would prefer to have a vagina, but that is me, and then for various reasons.

Take things slowly is what I would advise.  There is no race.  Well, that depends on how old you are.  The older you are, the harder it becomes to undo male puberty.  The best looking transsexuals are those that transition at a young age.  My former endo told me that and I agree with him.

I hope that helps.

[Lacey Lynne]

@ Sarah:

Hon, welcome to Susan's Place.  Your story is fascinating.  Oh, how similar it is to the story of many of us here ... my own included.  Growing up in your timeframe?  Several of us on here can totally relate to that.  I'm 7 years your senior.  Know what you mean about those days and times back in The Day.

You Said:

Over the years, I figured many things out, but I still have many things to figure out.  Sadly, there is no road map, per se, to peruse, so I am figuring things out on my own.  Sadly, society is helpful in some ways and detrimental in others.

I Reply:

There is very good news.  It turns out that there IS a road map and a most comprehensive and excellent one it is.  Think you'll like this, hon.  Lots and lots and lots of information for you.  Here you go:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html

Over 1600 pages of really good "tsroadmap" to help you, me and everbody in our community. 

Welcome to Susan's Place & Happy Thanksgiving!       Lacey Lynne

[sarahla]

Hi Lacey,

I know about the site. I have researched quite a bit, but I have to figure out what is right for me.  Things that I understand now may seem obvious, but was not always obvious.  I will give you an example.

When I was young, I thought that boys must be attracted to girls and that girls are attracted to boys, immutable.  The few cases of boys being attracted to boys are those boys that cannot be girls but want to, and vice-versa.  I know that sounds totally lame, but that is what I thought.  My problem by that postulate was that I was attracted to women, not boys (although even that I was partially wrong about then), so therefore I must be a boy, but I want to be a girl.  I could not resolve that circle.

Another circle was SRS.  That still is to a degree.

The list is endless, but I figure things out.

Maybe things would have gone easier if I had a trans friend (FTM or M2F) here locally that I can meet and talk to, but I do not know anybody here in L.A.   I live in a big city, where everyone is busy and a stranger and everything is spread out.  Writing letters in a forum is not the same as having some T friends.  I would like some genetic women to talk to as well, whom I can call friends.