Tell me about your local TDOR

[FullofPop]

I'm interested in hearing from folks who've attended a Transgender Day of Remembrance event in their area. How was it set up, what kind of events took place, what was the overall mood?

I'm not really liking what my local group is planning, and I'm wondering how different it is elsewhere.

[Janet_Girl]

Here they have it at the PSU campus.  It is held in one of the smaller conference rooms.  They usually have some people read out the top 100 names, as the is a candle light visual.

Then there is a little entertainment and snacks.

[xAndrewx]

In my city there are usually over 20 events in different places. There was a candlelight vigil, a meeting at one of the colleges where they did Q and A not sure what else happened, and a local club usually hosts it ever year where they use their theater to have speakers talking about their trans experiences, they list off the names, and there is dancing and socializing.

[shiinee]

My school also has a candlelight vigil, and a couple of talks/speeches.

Personally the whole idea of a "day of remembrance" for trans people really bothers me.  I'm not the type to offer respect to the dead really, I wish we could focus on the trans people who are alive and looking for respect right now.  Why can't we have an awareness day like everyone else?

[K8]

I live in a small town, and as far as I know nothing is happening here.  In the next town - 75 miles away - there will be a vigil Saturday evening.  Since I'm not willing to drive the roads that late in bad weather, I won't go to that.

Still, I want to do something to raise awareness of the dangers we, as transgendered, face.  It is a small way to remember those who didn't make it, but it is also an attempt to open minds so that those of us still here can perhaps live out our lives safely.

My church begins each service with a chalice lighting.  I've asked to do it this Sunday.  Here are the words I plan to speak:

"Yesterday, November 20th, was the Twelfth Annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance. 
Each year, too many who were born transgendered die in their struggle to free themselves.
The transgendered are a small portion of the population but suffer a high rate of early and violent death.
Some die at their own hands, when they meet too much resistance to their need to live authentically.
Others are murdered, because they dare to live as their true selves.
I light the chalice this morning in the memory of those who were killed this year."

- Kate

[Valerie]

Personally the whole idea of a "day of remembrance" for trans people really bothers me.  I'm not the type to offer respect to the dead really, I wish we could focus on the trans people who are alive and looking for respect right now.  Why can't we have an awareness day like everyone else?

I may be speaking out of turn not being trans myself, but remembering the dead is an important precedent for advocating for the living.  These people were murdered because other people didn't see them as human beings; some were unidentified...who mourns them now?  We need to look these senseless & brutal deaths in the face & say, "Enough!"  It has to be acknowledged & that acknowledgment is a galvanizing force for future activism.

I didn't even know there was a Transgender Awareness Week until it started, and there were a few events around town here.  Over the course of the week, they had 2 film showings, a speaker on transgender histary, and 2 candlelight vigils--one on campus Friday, the other at our Pride center last night. 

The vigil on Friday was better attended than Saturday's, but I'd be surprised if it was more than 45 people there.  There were a couple of speakers, and the woman who headed the vigil spoke about how we need to affirm everyone's right to exist. 

Saturday the mayor came & spoke, one or two others spoke, and it was more of an activist theme--basically asking us to write down what will we do in the coming year to combat transphobia.  I am hopeful that the new trans-advocay group here in town might in time spread their scope a bit further. 

--Valerie

[shiinee]

Valerie: I am glad to hear you, trans or not.  Besides, it's hard to talk out of turn on an online forum.

I should try to provide a bit more background to my initial reaction, given that it's a bit harsh.  At our TDoR there was never a peep about a living trans person needing respect.  Our queer/etc. group took a sort of exit poll of people who went to the vigil and the seminars, asking how many trans people did they think were on campus.  Most of them didn't know any or guessed in the single digits.  It seemed like the message was "the trans people are dead, and that is sad" when it could have been "we are here on campus with you and want your respect".

[Valerie]

Well, that does shed some light.  I think it is valid for ANY remembrance... you can be miserable over it and wallow, or you can take something out of it and make things better for yourself and others.  The latter is what truly honors those who died.

Valerie

[Vanessa_yhvh]

We had a candlelight park vigil, 27 in attendance. As I co-organized the event, during my talking bits I clarified that not all the victims named are even trans identified, noting the 16-month-old child murdered for not acting enough like a boy. Raising awareness of this sort of violence benefits the living, I feel.

[Britney_413]

I went to the vigil that was held on the lawn of the state capitol in Phoenix, AZ. I'd say there were a good 100 people or more who showed up. It was a candlelight vigil with people reading the names of the victims due to hate crime violence. There were some speeches and two songs were sung. I was assisting with the setup/takedown and a couple of us were told by the police that we couldn't hang the banner on the building which was ridiculous because they've done it every year before and this was my third time attending. We ended up putting a banner against street posts and then someone else ended up attaching the other banner to the building anyway but the police never did anything because I think they ended up leaving anyway. I still wish there would be mainstream media coverage of the event. Sadly this event is rarely covered by "GLBT" media because too often in the "GLBT" community the "T" is last and least. In any case, the event was a success.

[kae m]

We had a march and rally at our state capitol building with 100+ people (a total guess, there were a lot of people ).  A state representative and some local activists spoke about upcoming anti-discrimination and anti-bullying legislation, that part was mostly a call to action to get on our local representatives to finally move on clearing up the existing law, and then the names, locations, ages, and circumstances of those lost were read by community members and allies.  After the rally there was a brief program at a church with more speeches and general outreach by the local activist and support groups in the state.  The mood was mournful, but there was strong emphasis on working to remove some of the barriers that put so many trans people into dangerous positions - inadequate or inaccessible housing, employment, and healthcare.  Personally, I felt the event was organized very well and the focus was appropriate.

[Debra]

Seattle:

We met at a United Methodist Church and the choir and pastor of that church attended as well. Mostly transgender people there, the ones I recognized were mostly from the local Crossdresser Social Club, partially because they take part in putting it together. I'm surprised I did not see more people I knew.

The service consisted of someone explaining what it meant to be transgender and then they brought in someone from the Police Dept who has been very helpful with LGBT issues and they encouraged everyone to seek them out when needed.

Then we all lined up and each one of us grabbed a name and a candle and read them aloud as we lit our candle (name, date of death, way died, age, location) then "We will remember" in unison.

The choir sang 2 songs, mournful funeral like songs. It was a somber meeting.