Am I gay?

[pantymancan]

I have been a visitor to the family a few days and read alot of posts, very interesting and informative. I did not see any that realy helped. I have been dressing in bras and panties for 30 years, even lost my wife because of it. I have always thought woman are bueatiful and sexy.
For years I would dress in silky underwear and dream I was pretty and sexy. Being alone most of my life gave me plenty of time for this. Now I seek out Transexual friendship and dream of being with her all dressed up. I have no desire to be with a man, only a special girl.  So any opinons that might help unravil my confusion would be appreciated.

[Bibliaddiction]

Depends.

Do you identify as male, or mostly male? Or as a male that likes to dress like a woman, but still a guy?

If you do, and you like only men (or even just mostly only men) in a sexual, emotional, and mental way, then I'd see you as gay. Others might, too. It really depends on your perspective.

If you do, and like only women (or mostly), then you're straight. And then there's all the other genders to worry about...


If you identify as female/mostly female, or as a transsexual woman, and only like men, you're straight. Only women, gay (lesbian). And of course, there's all the other genders to worry about...


From what you've said, I'd say you're a straight guy who likes to crossdress! But of course, it is YOUR identity and you usually have to think for yourself on that. Remember, though, crossdressing doesn't make a person gay.

[pantymancan]

Thank you very helpful , ok I'm a crossdresser and love it. So if I'm with a transexual woman I'm not gay? They are very pretty!

[Cindy]

Hi Honey,

Labels are best left in supermarkets . If you like to dress in female clothing and want to have penetrating sex with a woman why worry what label you are?  Just enjoy, as long as it is consensual of course.

Cindy

[Crimbuki]

If you are a man/woman (TS or not is irrelevant) and you like to have sex with or are just attracted to and solely attracted to men/women, you are homosexual.

That's not a label, that's an observation, an impartial conclusion formed from an analysis of the subject for the purpose of categorization.

Personally I find the concept of sexuality useless other than for the purpose I stated above, making an objective observation at a specific point in time.

Sexuality can change; it can be chemical, it can be simple choice. It can be denied, or not. Worrying about what you "are" is pointless because the gay/straight dichotomy is deceptively over-simplified. What is "straight"? Is it a man whom loves a woman? Is it a man whom denies loving men? Is it a cross-dresser pretending to be female and loving a man?

Just do what you feel comfortable doing and don't worry about how anyone categorizes you. It's probably BS anyway.

[pantymancan]

Thank you, you gals are great .

[girl_ashley]

There would be nothing wrong with you even if you were gay.  I don't see why you are so wrapped up and worried about your sexuality.

[pantymancan]

Only because I feel lost and unhappy, not knowing what I want or need is makeing me very lonely and sad. If I was then ok, I would know and be proud, it's the not knowing and what to do about it so I can be happy.

[Elsa]

Only because I feel lost and unhappy, not knowing what I want or need is makeing me very lonely and sad. If I was then ok, I would know and be proud, it's the not knowing and what to do about it so I can be happy.

Just be yourself ... and everything will become clear to you... you said it yourself that you like women and not into guys ... so why look for guys?
Instead imho what you are looking for is a woman who appreciates you even while you are crossdressing .. the details of course would be upto the 2 of you 

[pantymancan]

I'm so glad I found this forum, It's a start to find out who I am. Thanks to every one who gave advice. I feel a little bit brighter.

[Crimbuki]

Only because I feel lost and unhappy, not knowing what I want or need is makeing me very lonely and sad.

There is only one way to find out what you want, and that is by investigation and experimentation.

I've actually talked to a few "straight" guys who "tried" other guys and found they didn't like it.

That to me is far more admirable than just assuming you already know what you like.

Unless you get out there and do something you'll never know for sure.

[pantymancan]

There is only one way to find out what you want, and that is by investigation and experimentation.

I've actually talked to a few "straight" guys who "tried" other guys and found they didn't like it.

That to me is far more admirable than just assuming you already know what you like.

Unless you get out there and do something you'll never know for sure.

You are so right, not into guys but a mtf is interesting

[Crimbuki]

You're not into guys?

I wasn't into guys, but then I found out I like certain things that men can provide and I ended up becoming sexually aroused by certain thoughts whilst still not being physically attracted to men. This is why I do not like the concept of sexual orientation. I can be heterosexual in "nature" but bisexual or even homosexual in practice.

Why do you think MtFs are interesting? I like them because I find the mix of masculine and feminine traits beautiful, but there is also a darker side to my attraction in that I enjoy forced feminization and suppression of the male ego. I think maybe there is a radical feminist inside me somewhere. 

Sexual investigation can really be a slippery slope for some people. You may find that you eventually have a use for and therefore become attracted to males. It's entirely possible and there is nothing wrong with that.

[Lisa]

Looks like you are very certain that you don't like guys.
Just one question, have you tried?
No need to answer that, just something to think about.

Also remember that bisexual does not necessarily mean 50/50, could be 20/80.

Just try not to worry about what anybody thinks about you, if you like women then go out and find one that is cool with you cross dressing.

Anyway, I used to think that I was only in to women, but it never really worked. I would find them attractive, then when it came to the sex I would start feeling uncomfortable, but still go through with it, and afterwards really regret the whole thing.
What happened is that I met this really sweet guy, unfortunately he was a backpacker and had to move on, but the few days he was in town was like some of the best days ever.