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Tad's blog. Yay for specialists!

Started by Tad, September 27, 2010, 07:01:42 PM

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Silver

Aww man I can't help you but I would if I could. I can relate although the process was relatively easy for me.

Maybe you should ask for a blog on the site. I don't know if they're still granting them. Best of luck getting T!
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Tad

More updates.

Got a brief letter from dad last night saying he was hurt by what I told him... about being bullied for this through junior high and always having to pretend to be someone I was not. It's been a few days since I sent him a letter telling him exactly whats gone on these past 22 years, and he says he's still trying to process it.. and that I'm a lot more intelligent then he thought I was.. thanks dad. Seems to be working out better anyhow now.

And, got a letter from the Uni. Not only did they change my name but they changed my gender in the system as well. O_O. Awesome. That's not something we asked for.. but it happened.


Oh, and I still really want T right now. Like I want it yesterday :P
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Tad

No reply from dad yet. I think he's really taking time to think about this.. His initial letter.. he thought it was just because I didn't fit in well as a girl and had low self esteem and such.. after I told him on Monday though about everything I've gone through for as long as I can remember.. sent a brief reply on Wednesday.. saying he was hurting and that he'd reply once he had time to process stuff. No reply still. Talked to mom again, didn't even bring up this topic.. seriously doesn't seem to mind at all. Just loves me for who I am. Each night around 10:30 I start to dread that Dad will email.. because he always contacts me between 10:30 to 11 via email or phone when he wants to talk. Really I don't think he's going to have a huge issue.. because so far he's more just been trying to be fixey of me.... but we'll see. With each new day I get one day closer to getting therapy started, and 2 more weeks til I go see my Doctor again. Each day brings meh closer toooo T. Which makes me happy as passing has been rather iffy these last few weeks. However my voice randomely seems to have dropped a few notes on the ability to hit lower notes.. which I find odd and my womanly hormonal cycles are out of wack. Maybe it's the stress from coming out.

Tad Out. Blogging is fun I spose.
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xAndrewx

Hey Tad, hope he replies to you soon man. I've read a bit about stress affecting hormones. I guess testosterone levels can increase due to stress and the dreaded cycles can stop due to stress. I couldn't find much info on it but it's interesting to me because I've noticed the same thing happening to me lately. I don't get how anyone could think you don't pass though.

Tad

Oh no.. not so lucky to stop it.. more like it's been coming around every 3 weeks instead of the usual 4 to 5 over the lsat few cycles, extra painful, but only lasting a few days instead of the normally long drawn out affair. It's getting rather annoying. I wish my ovaries, uterus, etc. would just fall out.

I have no idea either. Pheremones perhaps. O_O.
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Tad

I got another email from dad last week.. telling me that it was disturbing that a child as young as like 9 or 10 would research and learn about transexuality.. and that since I thought about it then.. it's obviously just a childish wish that never went away.. and that since I've invested alot of time into this wish it's going to be something hard to get rid of. So he's super eagre for me to get into counselling.

Wrote back and told him that.. I tried to hide, repress, deal with this since elementary school.. and it's just now that I'm actually givcing this a go.. and not trying to be someone else (that I am clearly not). Told him I'm tired of fighting and struggling with this.. And that I'm going to really investigate the whole trans thing. No reply. However he's called me Terri (not Terry which is my preffered name/what i've had it changed to).. since I came out.. which is a good start.

Came home this weekend and he hasn't mentioned anything other then asked if I've started trans counselling yet.. but likely wont start for a few more weeks.

Uhhh.. I haven't asked mom to call me any different or go by different pronouns.. because even though she's great I figured I'd give her time to adjust. Today she was talking to the dog about me.. and she's like.. 'get her.. no him.. her? him? This is really hard on us"... but at least she's considering other pronouns without me asking.. :) Love mom.

Friends kids have stopped calling me aunty and just call me terry. They are all under 4.. I hadn't asked them to, but their mom has been traning them when I'm not around and their dad isn't around.. and i'm well impressed.

Meanwhile, got a facial piercing, making more and more friends who just know me as another guy... and not a ->-bleeped-<- or whatever..

Wrote a paper for 'how to counsel specific groups' on transgenders and got a 28/30. My prof sent a letter along with my grade saying he worked with transsexuals in a the as his job 70's... and that from what he can see it's way harder for transexuals now then it ever was in the latter half of the 1900's... which is interesting.. because most people assume it's was way harder back then than it is now. I got many comments back from peers in my class on this paper.. and they all loved it and found it rather informative. Most of them had said they had never met a transgendered person before.. and I had a laugh.. because they have all met me on multiple occaisions. Means I'm passing well. It was also hilarious because we had a speaker come in and do a 3 hour lecture on trans and glb community. He's a specialist in this area, but he had definitions wrong.. and my paper kinda just blew his knowledge and stuff that he had presented out of the water. Was stoked on that.

I got a term paper coming up that I also plan to write on transexuals.. and another paper worth 100% of my mark that I'm writing on gender/sexual identities..

hmmm what else is new.

Doctors appointment this week.. assume we'll talk about T more, counselling starts in a couple weeks. I'm getting kinda excited.

I'm just kinda stoked on like right now. I've been working out over the last month to try and bulk up a bit.. and people have commented on how they've noticed that my shoulders are broader, that I have alot more defintion, and that I feel more muscly in general. I've noticed a huge increase in strength and am now lifting more then alot of the bio guys that I see at the gym. Makes me feel like I fit in there as well. And with my binder that looks like an undershirt.. and packing under my boxers or briefs.. the change room at the gym is easy to use to. No issue with changing into tshirt and shorts there.

Hmmm... also been using my stp more and more at urinals.. while i pack.. I've been just keeping my stp in my pocket instead of in my packer.. since i like to be able to wash it after i'm done. And I'm getting good enough at it that I can pull it out of my pocket and use it at a urinal without anyone being any the wiser.

Donno what else to say other that in general.. ->-bleeped-<-s going good atm and it makes me happy. :)
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Tad

More goodness? Dad was serving up the fish.. and he was like.. girl.. boy.. whatever.. lolz. But He got the boy in there.. yay!
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Tad

Mom called me she to the dog again.. then quickly corrected and said he. Dad said night (name)... and then corrected to Terry.

I haven't asked them to do any of this.. and just came out a few weeks ago. I'm in shock at how fast they are trying to adapt since I don't even live at home. This is the first time i've seen them since coming out.
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kelly_aus

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Tad

Thanks Kelly. So far i haven't met one person that has been bluntly to my face evil, disrespectful, or not willing to actually take the time to try and understand.  I expected to be disowned.. but here dad is already trying to use correct pronouns and such. Coming from an abusive relationship with him.. I'm finding this all highly.. exciting?

It's weird being called by male pronouns by my parents.. other people it was fine.. but parents.. I didn't expect this in perhaps ever. I'm over the moon atm.

<3

There is hope guys and gals. If my right wing conservative, ultra religous family that told me I was going to hell because I didn't sing loud enough at church.. can support me in transitioning.. well just about any one must be able to come around. Good luck to ya alls.. and cheers to anyone who actually reads this lolz.
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Tad

Went home again... parents are still trying to get pronouns and the name right.. even though I still haven't asked them too. As of today I've been out for 5 weeks.

One month was up since counselling intake for the therapy - called as instructed, still no room however I might be able to get in next week.

Continueing to pass well in classes and such. :)

Doctors office called into the Trans Specialist (only one that I can access in Canada apparently - my Doc checked as far as quebec - and they won't take me as I'm out of province)... just to see what the wait times might be, and it might be as long as a year :(. I don't want to wait that long. But I know guys who have gotten in in two months.. due to cancellations... so fingers crossed


I'm kinda sitting at a point right now where I'm content to be without T. My biggest issue is the chest - I hate having to bind. The questions run through my mind, do I really want T - at the moment I'm pretty happy as is. Ya know I'm out, people who knew me before are treating me as male, people who meet me now just assume I'm male. I've made lots of friends as a male. The school has changed my info so I'm male in paperwork. There really isn't any feminine part of my life yet except thats covered under clothing... and so yeah.. I can understand.. the question of do I really need T? I don't need it to be male and pass.  but I'm still impatient to get on it if it makes any sense.. because I want those things like a deeper voice and fat redistribution and more muscle.. however I'd take chest surgery over T any day. The moobs are my biggest hinderance.. I hate having to hide them. I just wish they weren't there.. oh.. and I have inverted nipples.. so chest surgery may look a little funny lolz. And bottom surgery would be nice some day so that I don't have to worry about toys and stp's and all that fun stuff... but for now toys and stps are satisfactory.


blahs. I wannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa be bio maleeeeeeeeeeeee. Rants. T! T! T!.

It's funny at how things can move so fast at times, and so slow at other times. Right now.... the actual process of getting hormones and surgeries and gender card changes is suppppppppppper slow.... but the transition of being out and people accepting happened so fast... and switiching from.. just living a kinda of hidden female life to being a loud and vibrant male.. happened at a drop of a hat. :)
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Tad

So excited... got a call today asking me to come into the specialists in 2 weeks.. Warnecke here I come. I have finals that day... and the appointments 5 hours away.. but whatever. Otherwise they offered me an appointment around July next year. XD XD.
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Sean

In Soviet Russa, Zero Divides by You!
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Tad

Thanks Sean.. still sinking in. In less then 2 weeks I'll have the paperwork neccessary to go change my legal gender on everything... and 4 monthish til T. OMG.
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