going to see someone I haven't seen since I was pre-t...???

[jet3]

Hey guys, I need some suggestions. From the time I was 3 weeks old until I was old enough to stay home by myself I went to the same baby-sitter. I was always really good at staying in touch with her throughout the years, and we had more of a grandmother/grandchild relationship than anything.  I love this lady like she is my own grandma. I moved a couple years ago so it's been a lot harder for us to stay in touch and for me to see her. Last time I saw or talked to her was last november and I was barely 1 month on T, so I hadn't really changed much at all, and I didn't explain what was going on to her.  Now I'm a lot bigger, my voice is really deep, my facial structure has changed, and I have a beard. I look way different. She is old, probably in her mid 80s, so she is....I don't know...she's just old. If I call her she will be confused, and if I just show up at her door she will be confused. I'm worried she won't know who I am and when I try to explain who I am  she just isn't going to realize what I'm trying to say. It's really been laying heavy on my heart lately though. I really feel like I NEED to go see her. I was hoping you guys could give me some ideas or share some thoughts on how I should go about this. I'm usually really good at this stuff....but I just don't know. Thanks guys!

Parker

[Elijah3291]

What if you wrote her a letter telling her what is going on with you, and then in the letter tell her you would really like to see her again

that way she would expect you to look different.

[James42]

I like Elijah's idea. Letters can be more personal and thought out, and it can prepare her

[Arch]

Letter. (Letter alone!!)

[Arch]

Oh, and include before-and-after shots so she knows it's really you and so she can see what you look like now.

[Michael Joseph]

Sorry nothing to add, but i just really agree with the letter, i think that would be the best way. So then if you do see her, she'll be prepared a bit more.  Thats definitely what i would do.

[Sandy]

A letter sounds like a good idea as a start, Parker.  And then a follow up phone call.

But don't discount us old folks! 

Actually I was faced with a similar situation with my aunt.  I had not seen her for many years, though she kept in touch with my sister.  My aunt would occasionally ask about me.  And when I came out, my sister was uncomfortable about lying to her and said I should contact her directly.

I sent her an email.  She was about 85 when I sent it to her.  I was surprised that she had a computer and read email!  Anyway, about 20 minutes later I got a wonderful response back and we ended up talking on the phone for about an hour.  She was wonderfully supportive and very happy for me.  So it worked out quite well.

So being "old" doesn't mean that they can't understand.  Relax, send a letter and pictures and be very upfront and clear about your changes.

I hope all goes well for you!

-Sandy

[jet3]

Thanks a lot everyone! I really appreciate it! I talked to my mom about it and she said she thought a letter sounded like a good idea as well! She also gave me another option, she said that since I'm going to be home for a week she could go over there with me on her day off, and we could sit down and explain everything to her. That way she would obviously know who my mom was then she would probably recognize me, then i could explain to her what was going on. She babysat my mom and her brothers when they were little too. Do you guys think that sounds like a good idea? or should I still do the letter?

[Arch]

Maybe both a letter and a visit...I didn't know you had your mother as an option, so that's good.

[tacoma]

A letter is a perfect idea! I was in the same situation with a friend of the family a few years ago. I think the letter gives them time to really obsorb the information before they react.