Slightly Akward Topic About Sex

[Shang]

I don't like sex, then again I've never had "good" sex.  I was also not out to myself and disliked being touched like a girl.  It wasn't so bad when my chest would be left alone.  I'm single now, however, and the next relationship I enter will probably have little sex because my sex drive has been taken away by anti-depressants (not that I'm complaining, I prefer cuddles and hugs and teases much more than sex).  I really need to just marry an asexual person who likes cuddles and hugs and kisses so sex won't be an issue between us.

[Al James]

I love sex with my partner and have almost no issues with it as long as she doesnt go overboard in 'admiring' my female parts. Just lately though i am really struggling with the strap on. Once im wearing it its ok but im feeling really self conscious about putting it on- even to the point where id rather not have sex at all if it involves the strap on.

[tekla]

OK boys and girls, men and women, trans or not, this is pretty simple.  You can pretty much carve it into stone.  If your partner is not getting the kind of sex they want from you, they WILL find it somewhere else.  And that's pretty much whatever they want, more, less, more vanilla, more kinky - whatever.

[Lee]

OK boys and girls, men and women, trans or not, this is pretty simple.  You can pretty much carve it into stone.  If your partner is not getting the kind of sex they want from you, they WILL find it somewhere else.  And that's pretty much whatever they want, more, less, more vanilla, more kinky - whatever.

And thus enters the relationship issues, but I think that's a post for another day. 

[xAndrewx]

OK boys and girls, men and women, trans or not, this is pretty simple.  You can pretty much carve it into stone.  If your partner is not getting the kind of sex they want from you, they WILL find it somewhere else.  And that's pretty much whatever they want, more, less, more vanilla, more kinky - whatever.

Tekla I just don't agree. While you are right about that being true in most cases there are people out there who just don't want sex.

Yakshini: I hope I get to that point eventually

Everyone else, thanks for answering

[tekla]

While you are right about that being true in most cases there are people out there who just don't want sex.

1.  Damn few (thank god)!

2. I did say if they want 'more' or 'less'

3. If you are one of those people who just don't want sex, you damn sure better find someone who feels exactly the same way you do or else as Muddy Waters used to say you gonna be finding another mule been kicking in your stall.

[Logan1986]

I used to avoid sex by any means neccesary but since starting T and having top surgery it's become less of a big deal. I have a strap on that I use with my girlfriend but the harness really sucks. has anyone here used/heard of lolajakes? i'm curious if they are worth the money.

I think sex becomes less of a big deal when you are with someone who understands and respects the fact that you're trans.

added: oops sorry about the lolajake questions, new here and just discovered the 'gear' section

[Mr.Rainey]

I hard pack and then pull it our of the flap of my boxers when I have sex. Its pretty fun and I like it a lot. I am sure that a lot of bio guys do this, especially this time of year. No one wants a cold ass lol.

[Nikolai_S]

I guess I'm lucky in that I'm sadomasochistic, so intimacy for me doesn't require my genitals getting involved. Now, in my one relationship, my partner was also trans, so he understood my boundaries. As a result, we figured things out fairly well and I never got too uncomfortable with my body. I actually didn't experience much bad dysphoria with him, but even when there wasn't dysphoria there was often something not right about my female bits being touched. I was fairly content just topping and giving/receiving pain. That got me off far better than actual intimate contact did. I don't know how I'd have coped if I didn't have such a fetish.

[Andy]

Andrew, this is not so much for your original question, and I'm a little late joining in on this thread, but I agree with what Rob said in the beginning, once I discovered what made it click I couldn't get enough.  I just kept having bad sex with one partner after another until something finally clicked and I realized I was a top. It took many years and a lot of evolving.

Now, I am so, so lucky that I have a partner that totally gets it, encourages me, never forgets to call me he and him, loves penetration every which way, and treats me like a total guy, which does wonders for one's confidence and makes the sex really hot, because I can really be comfortable and express myself completely. I often cry/tear up because it FINALLY is right, and I'm sorry, but IMHO good sex is just one of God's gifts to the world!

On a personal note, I DO find it aggravating to have to switch from my STP to a hard packer when the mood strikes, but until I get one of those $700 dollar deals that does the whole job, I will have to be content...and I am, it's totally worth it!

I appreciate how everyone is so honest when these sensitive topics come up, that's how we learn and help each other. Thanks, guys.