Have you ever feared that you weren't "trans enough"?

[Alex201]

Have you ever feared you were not really trans? Or that you were just fooling yourself? 

[xAndrewx]

Since I voted I figured I would answer. That's like "not being gay enough". I just think that if you're trans you are trans enough.

I know that you have been questioning a lot and that's good. Not the trying to figure it out but the wanting to be one hundred percent sure is good. It sounds to me like you are trans Alex. If you are then you certainly are "trans enough". If not then at least you took the time to question it and learn something about yourself and it gave you new friends. I know that isn't what this thread is about sorry I just have wanted to say that and I keep reading your threads then closing out before responding sorry.

[Eve of chaos]

the question is trans enough for what exactly?

for a moment forget the word and definition of trans, imagine it never existed. try thinking about ti that way.

I understand your feeling though, but you cant look at it so black and white or you'll get nowhere

[AweSAM!]

I voted yes. Had I known that feeling the way I do is definitely a gender issue, I probably would have come out a lot earlier, rather than fearing that people would not have seen my feminine side before, doubt that I'm serious, and think I'm insane. It's too late to change the past.

I'm more confident in myself now, and my experiences will be different than those of anyone else. My 'transness' is no longer dictated fully by others' experiences or examples. Since the key word for me in the question was 'ever', my answer is yes. Now, I don't fear not being "trans enough", whatever it may mean.

I'm considering removing my vote, since I'm having way too hard a time understanding the question fully, and deriving the true meaning of it.

[Alexmakenoise]

I voted "No".  Have I questioned how trans I am?  Yes.  Often.  Have I thought that maybe I'm not trans?  Yes.  Sometimes.  Have I feared not being trans enough?  No.  Never.  Trans or not, I am whatever I am.  The thought of a label fitting or not fitting doesn't scare me.

[Eve of chaos]

I voted "No".  Have I questioned how trans I am?  Yes.  Often.  Have I thought that maybe I'm not trans?  Yes.  Sometimes.  Have I feared not being trans enough?  No.  Never.  Trans or not, I am whatever I am.  The thought of a label fitting or not fitting doesn't scare me.

ooo this. i didnt think hard enough when i answered yes>.<

[Nero]

No, but I have wondered whether I was human enough.

[Arch]

I'm not sure what you mean by "trans enough."

[ilanthefirst]

I agree with everyone else.  "Trans enough for what?"  "Who decides who is trans enough?" etc.

However, I voted yes because I have had this worry, when reaching out to my local LGBTQ community.  When I reach out to strangers, I fear being treated like an outsider.  I wonder if I meet their expectations and how they might think of me if I don't.  I think that's pretty normal to worry about, even if it's totally unproductive.  I find it helpful to remind myself that there is no "true trans* narrative" and everyone has their own personal history and their own way of questioning and answering their own questions; there isn't a right or wrong way to be who you are, even if you may fall under the label of "trans."

[Flan]

No, but I have wondered whether I was human enough.

I question that all the time :|

[Nathan.]

I've never felt that I wasn't trans enough but I've also felt I was fooling myself, maybe I don't get what you mean by trans enough?

[E]

I answered "yes", under the assumption that you mean "trans enough to transition". That's something I'm quite worried about on occasion.

[shiinee]

It's a common worry for me that I am "not trans enough," as in

- not aligning with typical gendered behavior enough that people close to me take my trans-ness seriously
- not exhibiting strong enough indications of my gender, so that I'm treated according to my sex
- might never be happy with a physical transition, that it's a mistake to wish for one
- would never pass consistently and would never be read like a cis person (or would that be "too trans"?)
- totally mistaken about my own feelings, and what gender identity is, and where mine is at (...I realize this is kind of dumb)

I'm a super worrywart though, so don't take it as an indication of typical trans* mentality or anything.

[spacial]

I voted yes because I see self doubt as the fuel of thinking. When I stop thinking I'll stop living.

Self doubt is to be valued, not feared.

[pebbles]

I was thinking about this earlier today. How much I dislike begin a transsexual.

How I would rather spend this electrolysis money on a gift for a friend or a new hobby. But no I have to deal with the horrible pain and expense of electrolysis the knowledge that I'm missing so many years of my life, And the anger and scorn of my own family the feelings of isolation.

And part of me said. "perhaps your not." Maybe I wasn't really a transsexual, if I wasn't trans enough to be detected as a child maybe I'm not trans enough to transition maybe this is just a delusion. afterall my earliest dysphora memory is only age 10 isn't it supposed to be early childhood like your earliest memory?
Ultimately tho I can't get over the fact while I dislike begin trans and never asked for this crappy situation I hated having to live a lie as a male more.

[regan]

I don't know that fear is the right word, but I think most people question themselves at sometime or another.

[brainiac]

For me, the fear was that it was all in my head, that because I didn't identify with transsexuals who had known from toddlerhood and wanted a complete medical transition and were 100% gender-conforming, I wasn't really trans. That my pain was due to some sort of weakness or failure or internalized misogyny.

Am I transsexual? I don't know. Am I somewhere under the transgender umbrella? Yes. How do I know that? Because as I've taken my baby steps towards coming out and living as the person I want to be, the dysphoria and pain has slowly but surely been lifting. And THAT is what matters, not the label I give myself.

[Ashley Allison]

I answered yes... In the sense that I don't always experience dysphoria.  I have viewed examples of girls/ guys transitioning to their appropriate gender at younger ages, or at older ages with I feel like more resoluteness than me at the current moment.  Maybe, the right time has not arrived for me yet.  I think there is always going to be self-doubt there; that is part of the process to self-discover what is the right course of action.  So, in that sense, I have feared "not being trans enough." 

[AmySmiles]

Sometimes I wonder.  I've never been very masculine, but I don't think I've been very feminine either.  Family have noticed my depression in the past, but never knew why, and my parents don't believe me when I tell them the reason.  I don't really have an aversion to being male socially in the nerdy/software sphere, but I feel like I'm from a completely different species with males outside of it.  I do feel much more at home in groups of girls, but still, the social aspects alone don't justify transition to me.

I guess what's really pushing me is that I'm *terrified* of growing old as a man... or even of growing any more physically masculine than I already am.  The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.  Even if I don't fit in completely as a woman socially, I can't bear wasting my life in a male shell.  I know that transition is what I need now, but in the past I've definitely feared that I wasn't "trans enough."

[Yakshini]

I have indeed feared that I wasn't "trans enough" to be accepted as such by the trans community, as I have seen lots of people being accused if it. I've had other trans guys subtly accuse me of being a "poseur" because I do not fit the stereotype of what a man/transman should be. I stopped hanging around that forum. Thinking that because I was so unlike most other transguys made me seriously question if I was trans at all.
Then I realized, "Eff what they say. I might not fit the model, but at least I'm sure of it."