Quote from: mallorie08 on December 07, 2010, 12:50:31 PM
Thanks so much for welcoming me! I really do just want to help others understand that people are just people, and everyone deserves respect. I guess my biggest question at this point is what do you feel is the most important step in getting people to understand who you are? Do you feel that raising tolerance is the most important, or do you feel that making people aware that transgenders are real is the first step? Of course, we are all aware that transgenders are real, but I know people who have never been exposed to gender issues of any kind... So what would you consider the first step to equality? Legislation? Teaching respect? Exposure? Let me know! I am so full of questions, I apologize lol. I appreciate any and all replies!
Don't undertake the impossible. There will never be such a thing as 100% acceptance. Just ask any other minority. Just like the people who need parenting classes aren't the ones who end up taking them. People aren't going to be any more or less convinced to accept someone they're not prepared to accept.
Maybe stress for the well meaning (read accepting) people in our lives:
Not to ask some of the deeply personal questions they ask us sometimes about being transgendered, or how do we know for sure (I mean do non transgendered people obsess about their gender? Isn't that proof enough), can't we just be gay (or if you're just going to be gay (after transition), do you really need to transition?), or talk about how handsome or pretty we used to be (as if ugly was a pre-requesit to transitioning).
That we're in the bathroom for the same reason they are, to take care of a biological function and nothing else, though if it is something else, it has nothing to do with being trans. don't call us "the best of both worlds". Decide you're being helpful by pointing out how we won't pass (at the same time, don't tell us you don't know wty we don't pass if you do know).
For your transgendered clients:
Remind us that people do have a hard time learning new names and pronouns and will under stress "forget", but that if they still make excuses and it's been long enough to know better, they're not just "forgetting"
Don't be afraid to disagree with us when we just don't know why we don't pass and/or no one will accept us as our target gender when we don't dress or act our age or worse yet talk and act like a linebacker (thought I guess that last part only applies to MtFs).
That when we complain that people don't accept us for who we are, remind us that as long as it took for us to come to terms with it, many people in our lives (especially the closest ones) are going to need that same amount of time
Tell us not to get angry when our parents work thorough the grieving process for the son or daughter they're losing. Yes they want us to be happy, but we forget they planned on a marriage and grandchildren in their future and they have to grieve that loss too and that we will always be their "baby" and they still think they have the power to "save" us.
That our roommates will feel like their personal security is threatened when we insist on taking in every stray pet looking MtF and not to get bitchy when they complain the neighbors are starting to notice. (this actually happened to me – as "the roommate")
