Sometimes you need a sister

[Melody Maia]

Not to disparage the support I have received from you ladies, but sometimes you need someone who knows you intimately. You can only do so much on a computer. I've been feeling really depressed lately. Partly about my divorce about to become final and moving out and partly because of self-esteem issues with my transition. I've been trying to reach out to friends in my community, but while they smile and wave at public and church functions, in general they have not been there for me.

Tonight my sister called to see how I was doing and in 30 minutes, she really lifted my spirits. She knows all too well that the women in our family are prone to bouts of depression and she welcomed me to the club.  Then she told me that family will always be there when our friends fail us. She learned that lesson with her own difficult divorce and she was reinforcing that for me. She has also had to rebuild her life from scratch and I admire her greatly for her strength and resilience. She helped work through the outlines of a plan for where I will live once I leave my home and brought some peace to my heart. I  love her and it was so nice to be able to finally relate to her as a sister and not as her reserved and distant older brother. I know that what I have is really special in an accepting and supportive family and it is a huge thing that I can thank God for in this difficult time.

For anybody interested, it looks like I will be living in Florida for awhile to regroup and work through my thoughts before finally returning to my home of the NYC area.

[annette]

Hi Melody

in bad times you learn your true friends know, sometimes they are close family, sometimes close friends and sometimes people who you never had expect to be on your side.
It's important that there is somebody who will support you and give some comfort, it will make things easier.
Transition is a hard way, your whole life is upstairs down and of course you will loose some people but you will receive other friends.
I met a friend in bad times and we still have our friendship, we now have a close bond with each other, like sisters do.
You have your sister as your best friend, so, despite all the troubles you're in now you do have somebody you can talks tings over.
Be strong girl, you'll get where you want to be.

I'll hope your divorce will be fast and with not to much pain
and think of your new life, it's waiting for you and believe me, you're gonna enjoy it.

lots of love sister
annette

[erocse]

 Melody,

Your post really hits home. I was really close to my sister (or at least I thought I was). She hasn't talked to me sense finding out about me being transgender. I really miss her.

  I am so glad that you have such a loving sister. You have your sister to lean on throughout the divorce. That will really help when things get you down and seem too much to bare alone.
 
Hugs, Roxy

[cynthialee]

My sister has become cold and clinical when she talks to me.
I have become a science project, she asks me alot of medical questions and she is cold and indiferant.
She ussed to be close to me. I envy your relationship with your sister.

[Melody Maia]

I hurt for both of you ladies and the change in your relationship with your sisters. Mine is the first person I told besides my wife. I totally realize that what I have in my relationship with her is special and I truly hope you both might recover something similar with your sisters.

[Randi]

I told my sister after I told my wife too. Until recently I never had a good relationship with my youngest sister but I do now and I am most thankful to have her. I too wish only the best for you during this uncertain time. So far my wife seems determined to stay together but has not become accepting of my situation. For now I am able to accept the status quo and simply roll with the punches. Bye for now,

Randi

[Colleen Ireland]

I have three sisters, and one brother, but so far I haven't said anything to them.  They all live far away, as do my parents, and most of them (my parents especially) are very conservative, so I'm planning to wait until I'm ready to go fulltime before I say anything to them.  For now it's enough that my wife and kids know, and my best friend.  Other than that, I have several trans friends nearby, and I consider them my sisters.  They are available if I need a shoulder to cry on (as I do, frequently)...

Melody, I am very happy for you, having such a good sister you can depend on.