How to come out to children?

[jon1985]

Hey, 25 y.o. F-t-M here.  Started transitioning about four years ago, came out to my mom 2 years ago, and finally my dad a year ago, which was a really big thing for me, he's a deacon in the Catholic church.  He's still, er, adjusting.  This Christmas, I'm flying back home for a visit and we're going to my aunt's house for Boxing Day to spend some time with her family - her a-hole husband and my cousins, who are 11 and 6.  My aunt knows I'm trans, but she hasn't really cottoned on to what that means - even though she was told to address me as Jon, etc, she still uses the nickname that goes with my former name.  I am going to call her before I head out there, but when I do, I need to say something practical about telling her kids, because she hasn't even attempted to do that, it's like she thinks we don't have to do it.  I know her husband's going to be a jerk about this, but the plain fact is, I'm not spending a day pretending and all that BS.  So does anyone have any good advice about telling kids about ->-bleeped-<-?  Who should tell them, me or their mother?  Obviously, I'm not going to get angry if they call me by my old name, but I can't not correct them.  I only see them once a year, and I'm starting hormone therapy in a few months, this is the last time they will see me before that, I just think it's important to do this now.  Plus, they're really smart kids, I think the 11-year-old could catch on pretty quick.  Advice?

[erocse]

Kids are amazing. They understand much more then we give then credit. Probably because they are in the posses of figuring out there own gender rolls. And not just set in  their ways like most adults.

  As for advice and who should and how they should be told. That's a tough one. In my experience, if the parent understands and is compassionate to trans related issues. Then they are the best person to tell their children. But if the parent does not understand or except your ->-bleeped-<-. They do more damage then good. Never-the-less you still must abide by the parents wishes.

  I hope it goes well for you.

  Hugs, Roxy

[tekla]

If you have to say anything, I'd just tell them the truth.  Having an adult tell you the truth when you are 11 is so shocking that they might just sit dumbstruck the rest of the day.

[xAndrewx]

I'm going through something similar with my brother and sister. They haven't seen me since before I began transition and I will have been on T for 3 months or so when they see me this March. My dad thinks we don't need to tell them. Best advice I have is to say look, I'm going as male and they have to know.

Tekla's advice works as well. My moms friend has and 11 year old who never gets talked to like an adult so when I have something important to say I treat her like an adult within reason and tell her the truth. She's usually so happy to be treated like an adult that she listens. Erocse is right too, in my experience kids are usually more confused at why a person is calling you a gender different than what you're presenting than they are that you are trans. They'll probably take it better than your aunt did.
Good luck