changes without T

[Nikolai_S]

Another thread on here prompted me to finally edit and upload a video showing some of the changes I've had since coming out, without testosterone. First was May 21, second October 27. I'm sure a lot has changed besides my haircut. I think a lot of it was confidence. It's personally fascinating to me how much I've changed- that first video I was sure I was never going to pass, I was so frustrated with how feminine I looked and I couldn't figure out why. But a few months later, I passed regularly with just a slightly different haircut and a lot more confidence. So I thought you guys might be interested to see all that can change without hormones. I sure could have used it at the start of the year.

Warning - there's a lot of swearing in the second part of the video of the happy sort, since I'd just gone stealth. I kind of sound like an idiot overall, but I was really excited. The first part is really difficult for me to watch, I can't believe I used to be like that. Also probably sound issues, sorry.

[insideontheoutside]

That's cool dude. This is kind of the thing that I always try to tell people but they don't often get. That if you are confident, you can do things that people might label feminine without it making you feel bad. It helps when people are already identifying you as what you are inside as well, but even if they are not, if you can have the confidence to be male and paint your nails or something like that, I think that will take you a lot farther and you will just feel better about yourself and who you really are.

[Nikolai_S]

Definitely, and while that femininity originally threw me off in terms of appearing male, I have passed with eyeliner and painted nails... starting around July or August. I just needed confidence and comfort... I wasn't used to acting as male as I wanted to, before coming out I was considered butch but I still stayed within female boundaries for a lot of things.

[gilligan]

You voice sounds significantly different. How did you manage that one? Just curious. I know that when I'm speaking to people I don't know, basic manners like "Thank you" when someone holds a door open, and it's just a couple of words I throw my voice to make it sound lower. I can't do full sentences or anything. I imagine that would take a lot of practice.

[Nikolai_S]

I use this exercise fairly often: http://www.deeper-voice.com/an-exercise-to-make-your-voice-sound-deeper Also, I practice speaking in a lower register as often as possible, so over time it became more natural. Oftentimes it does revert to a higher pitch (never as high as it originally was though), but it's particularly deep in the video because I'd just spent 3 hours stealth, so that was 3 hours of my vocal chords stretching to a lower range. If I go a day without speaking, I need a bit to reset my automatic speech to male mode.

Also, in the second clip I have a very strong American accent, no idea why. I have some British family so I often drop Rs and such, to the point where people ask me if I'm British. I think that gives an overall more feminine sound to the average American ear. It's only very slightly noticeable in the first part of the video.

[xAndrewx]

Awesome man, I see a definite change. It's funny how things happen like that. Maybe our bodies begin to release as much testosterone as they can after we come out and start living as male? I dunno but either way, very cool.

[Sharky]

I can see the changes.
I'm going to start trying the voice exercise. Thanks for the link. I can actually feel it working!
How my voice is going to come out is one thing I'm paranoid about. I think I'm going to start reading to myself using the lower register. I could use practice annunciating too.

[notyouraverageguy]

Awesome man, I see a definite change. It's funny how things happen like that. Maybe our bodies begin to release as much testosterone as they can after we come out and start living as male? I dunno but either way, very cool.

I believe this! Lol

Big difference man, congrats. I've had the same changes without T as well. Hair, face, body fat, muscle, voice. Just little things add up over time to change your whole image.

Definite voice change, n u carry yourself different.

[LordKAT]

American accent?, America is too big to have only one accent, it is also filled with too many varieties of people for that to work.

[Nikolai_S]

By American I meant pronounced rhotic speech and twangier "a"s (as in "cat" rather than "are"). What it will sound like if you ask a foreigner to imitate an American accent. Similarly, Britain is too diverse for one British accent, so to specify, I often have influences of an Essex accent, as that's where my grandmother was from. Noticeably non-rhotic and certain inflection differences.

Thanks everyone! I knew I'd changed, but I didn't realise how much until I started looking at my old personal vlogs. It doesn't make more sense, but something's causing it.

[Lee]

Nikolai, maybe it is because you're younger, but it surprises me that your voice kinda passes in the second part.  It sounds right for a guy your age to me.

[Nikolai_S]

Thanks, that's great to hear. I'm ridiculously self conscious about my voice, if I'm not paying attention it sometimes slides back to female pitch and makes people do a double take.

[Andy]

Hello, boys--newbie here. This is my first post but I just wanted to say, thanks so much for the link about lowering the voice. That is one of my biggest problems. I'll be up all night practicing!

You'll be seeing more posts from me in the future, but I have been watching this site for awhile and I wanted to say I think you are all awesome and amazing. I love the way you all help each other.

Thanks and glad to be aboard!

[Lee]

Hey Andy, I just wanted to say welcome to Susan's and that yes, we are awesome and amazing.    Good luck with the voice!

[Nikolai_S]

Welcome to Susan's, Andy! I'm glad you found the link helpful. Don't overdue the practice, your voice needs time to rest occasionally. And good luck with it.

[xAndrewx]

Welcome to Susan's Andy! 

Nikolai: I'm glad you mentioned resting your voice occasionally. I've heard of people damaging their vocal chords by doing that 3 or 4 times a day.

[Andy]

Thanks for the welcome guys, and also for the warning about over doing it!

Have a great day, everybody!

-Andy

[Aegir]

Thanks for posting Nick, seeing the difference was pretty encouraging

[gilligan]

Do you have any recommendations of when to do the voice exercises? I was thinking of doing a rep when I wake up in the morning, and a rep before I go to sleep at night. When do you do the exercises?

[Nikolai_S]

I don't think it matters much, but I usually do it right before leaving the house each day, so my voice is deeper when I'm in public, and sometimes in the evening to refresh it. If I'm staying home a certain day I'll just do it whenever it occurs to me. I'm glad someone found it encouraging.