When did you know something was wrong? MtF only

[VeryGnawty]

At about ten years old I had a dream where I was a girl.  Everything clicked after that.  It just felt right.  Over the next several years, I became increasingly aware that I wasn't like the other guys.  The older I became, the more obvious it was that I was more like the girls than the guys.

[purple sky]

I only knew when something was wrong when I was told it was wrong. That "talking to" I received left me with years of shame about who I am. Can not remember really when but I was young.

[lizagirl]

I voted under six because I knew from a really early age that something was "off" but I couldn't put my finger on it...

Me too.

Also I have always been quite feminine and no matter how I was dressed, everyone thought that I was really a girl.

Even at an early age, I wanted to grow up and look like my mom and sisters. I always envied them and wanted to wear clothes like they did.

[tomthom]

I've always been a loon. But I'd say it didn't reall hit hard until about 12 or 14. that range.

[Shodan]

I guess it depends on how you want to define the word 'wrong.' I always thought something was wrong with me, for as long as I can remember. It wasn't until I was older did I start defining what it was, and then subsequently denying it, and it wasn't until much, much older I was able to stop denying it and accept that there really was something I could do about it.

So if the question is: When did you first recognize that you were transgender, it wasn't until I was 39.
If the question is: When did you first suspect that you had feelings that were out of the ordinary, it would have been 14.
If the question is: When did you first have these feelings, it was at around 4 or 5.

[Agenda Dysphoria]

I felt like I would rather be a girl since my earliest memories, the feeling has gotten more intense since then though

[warlockmaker]

Its seems as far back as I can remember. I can remember my younger brother wearing high heels and acting feminine at around 10 years old, I wanted to also to be girlish but even then I knew I would have to be the front man for the family name. BTW He finally came out as a gay when he was 20, in a community that was highly conservative and he became famous for his stance, he started a new district with the most famous club.

[Northern Jane]

I was sure I was a girl until age 8. That's when I realized I had a SERIOUS problem!

[Sammy]

I replied with the first option, since my first memories are related to that - I was probably at 4-5 years then. But, at that time I would not describe that as "something being wrong". I realised that I am actually in trouble later - before that it seemed kinda optimistic - I was expecting things to sort out or get sorted out by my parents and was enjoying myself as girl.

Oh well, I did not realised that this was a necro-thread...
Ahhh,  nevermind then.

[Naomi]

I went with over 18 because that was when I first consciously recognized there being something wrong. I'm pretty sure though that I had the feelings in the under six range and but I quickly picked up on the fact boys were supposed to do certain things and as a kid I always really wanted to please my parents so I guess I just went along with it and repressed it really deep. Cracks started happening during my teen years where thoughts would come to the surface but no one had ever explained to me that transgender was a thing so I just told myself the thoughts were crazy and moved on. Because of that it exploded in my face one afternoon and now it can't be ignored.

[Terri]

I was very young.  As soon as I learned boys and girls were different and that I was a boy I was shocked and disappointed.  I was like my brother and my Dad and NOT like my sisters and my Mom???  What the heck?  After that I just kind of did my best to be the boy I learned I was but I never felt comfortable and had to learn ways to fit in and be accepted.  It worked for a looooong time, but it is becoming harder and harder every day to hide myself inside of that person - that bs ball of lies of a person who I now see as not the suit of armor i used to think he was but rather a coward I made up so as to protect myself from harms way and the cruelty of others.  That person hid and protected me but also stole me from myself for far too many years.  I've determined he's no longer required so I'm beginning to shed him.

[Jennifer Snowskier]

I put down 18+ because it was only then that I recognized that my feelings were not "normal". Whatever "normal" is.

I can remember clomping around in my mothers heels, being fascinated by female clothing, being mesmerized by seeing a woman put on her lip stick, pushing my male junk up inside me and wishing it would all just go away. Back then I thought that everyone else thought the same way. You did not talk about "such things" in those days.

It was not until I was in my 20's that I started to question my thoughts and not until my 40's when I started to admit to myself that I was Trans. It has been an interesting journey since then.

Interesting survey, thank you.

Jen

[big kim]

A senior boy at school was riding a BSA motorbike with his girlfriend on the back,my friend said he wished he was the boy on the bike.I said nothing but wished I was the girl with her arms round his waist.I was 14

[Violet Bloom]

  I've been wondering a lot how my life might have turned out if I hadn't been so shy and susceptable to self-inflicted shame when I was young.

  One of my very earliest memories as a child (5-6 probably) was a visit to a thrift store with my mom.  She picked a Thomas The Tank Engine book for me, which I was certainly happy with, but when I got to choose something for myself it was a doll.  I loved and cared for that doll for a while - it was one of those with the self-closing sleeping eyes and I'd dutifully put her to bed every night.  At some point, I don't recall how, I learned that this behaviour should cause me to feel shame and I stopped.

  Another time I insisted that my mom help me try on one of here bras, which I stuffed for realism, and then proudly marched around the house for a bit and showed it off to my dad.  They took it as just a silly kid's joke but I got the impression they were a bit uncomfortable.

  Any related behaviour subsequently was buried until it would resurface stronger at the start of puberty.  A cycle of on and off repression would continue until 35 when I finally came to grips with the whole thing.  I think I've only now developed the personal strength to fully be myself.  Had I begun transition at a young age it may actually have been emotionally and socially disastrous.

[Stefani2]

Under six. I don't ever remember a time where I didn't feel and think of myself as completely female, ever. I remember living in my home in Ohio and laying it bed and falling asleep thinking about being a girl, and we moved out of there when I was 5 (which is also around the start of my memories). It only intensified as the years went on, and I remember I developed coping mechanisms. I remember little girl me being 7 years old and getting in the car to go to church and thinking "I AM a girl, I'm just the only one in my family that knows it". That gave me a lot of comfort and that's just how I conducted myself from there on.

It's funny, because I never even vaguely felt this would go away, and when I was little, I *knew* I would HAVE to end up as a girl one day (even before I *heard* of transitioning). It has always been one of *the* most fundamental and integral aspects of my identity, and something that is constantly with me, every second of every day, and always has been.

Also, I decided I desperately wanted to transition at 16 but didn't have the guts to talk to my parents about it. I am sad I did not, and I remember the feeling that this was obtainable, but just not for me was the most crushing feeling imaginable. But I am happy to finally have started HRT 1 month after my 18th birthday, and have decided to not look back at time wasted

[Jess42]

Under six when I realized I had a little more down there than other girls. Most probably late 3 or early 4 years old. I just remember how bad it felt.

[Stefani2]

Funny story: when I was about 8 years old I saw a news story about how the water was turning male frogs into females, somehow, and I decided to start drinking massive amounts of water from there on, in the hopes it would turn me into a girl, lolz XD Just recently my mom and I were talking about how I don't like pop (because she does) and she was like "No, you always drank water, I remember even when you were little, you drank TONS of it".

[Beth Andrea]

I put "over 18" because that's when I stopped suppressing it. I do remember always being told to "not do (that) or (this), because people will think you're a girl" ever since very young, like 5 or 6. Beyond that, I couldn't say.

[Shakira]

I remember spending a lot of time playing in my mum's clothes and shoes and wearing lipstick and nailpolish til I was about 10 and started getting the message that it wasn't cute anymore.I realized people really had a problem with me being myself when I was 16 and the Principal dragged me into his office and told me to cut my hair and nails,because teachers couldn't work out if I was a boy or a girl.

[Sarah84]

At 13 years, when I fully recognized the boy/girl differences, I was an only child, very introvert so it took some time to be confronted with that difference. I was confused, I wanted to look like a girl and even I began to envy them. Then I have to suppress my feelings to be accepted by society . And I am pobably non-binary now in my 28 age, but I have an urge to change my body to have more feminine features.