When did you know something was wrong? MtF only

[spacial]

This question has arisin because there is a perception that most MtF people tended to realise something was wrong, earlier than most FtM people.

Please answer carefully and in the appropriate section.

This is the section for people born with male parts but feel female.

If you haven't transisioned, or don't plan to, please still try to answer. The question is about when we realised something was wrong.

[Eve of chaos]

exact day was halloween 1997 :p

I'll always remember it

[Maddie Secutura]

I voted under six because I knew from a really early age that something was "off" but I couldn't put my finger on it.  Then again I always thought all men felt they had to resign themselves to the fact that they just weren't lucky enough to have been born women.

[Bam]

I knew something was wrong about 7 or 8 years old,but i was 12 before i knew exactly what it was and spent a lifetime avoiding it,but at the young age of 52 i went ahead and transitioned and haven't looked back since or regretted it!!! Living life to the max as a woman!!!

[cynthialee]

I knew something was wrong very young. I didnt realize that boys and girls have diferant downstairs until I was 7 and saw my sister when my mom was changing her.

I was unable to make the conection to my dred being a boy to actually being a girl until I was 9 and saw a Phil Donahue show about transwomen. Then I knew for a fact what was wrong with me. Why I was wierd and why I had the feelings I had. After that it was 32 years of self imposed hell as I lived in the closet.

So I had my first clue at 7 but it wasnt until I was 9 I knew I was trans.

[glendagladwitch]

I said under 6.  Some of my earliest memories are wrapped up in it.  It's painful to think about.

[AmySmiles]

I think I subconsciously knew something was off very early, but I didn't actually figure out what until I was around 10-11.  I never looked at it in this light before, but seeing that some of the FTMs packed at early ages made me remember that I did in fact try to push the downstairs bits inside me on many occasions when I was very young.  At the very least I know that I've never felt like they were supposed to be there.

Like Cynthia I didn't comprehend that girls and boys had different parts until I was around 8, and even then I didn't know what the differences were until later.

[Janet_Girl]

I was about 5 or 6 when I discovered that there was a difference between boys and girls and that was when I began wondering when I would no longer have those boy parts.

[Cindy]

I voted under six. I of course didn't have rationality, but I didn't want to be with the boys, and wanted to be with the girls.

Incidentally, I have a colleague with an 18 month boy. Over the last six weeks or so he won't allow girls to play with his toys, but boys can. So at what age does our gender ID kick in. BTW he is well loved and goes to mixed child care, and child care have a policy of no segregation of boys and girls.

Cindy

[justmeinoz]

About 14 but I didn't have the language to express what was wrong so went straight through GID to Depression.  Eventually 40+ years later I have worked out why I was depressed, and am now able to do something about it.

[regan]

I voted under six. I of course didn't have rationality, but I didn't want to be with the boys, and wanted to be with the girls.

Incidentally, I have a colleague with an 18 month boy. Over the last six weeks or so he won't allow girls to play with his toys, but boys can. So at what age does our gender ID kick in. BTW he is well loved and goes to mixed child care, and child care have a policy of no segregation of boys and girls.

Cindy

I don't know that his actions have anything to do with gender identity.  Self awareness of gender differences is usually tied into social situations so I would consider it a dynamic age range of when they're first able to comprehend the biological differences between boys and girls.  Until they understand there are two genders (classically speaking) everything would be genderless otherwise.  Such things as pink is for girls is actually a social construct.

[spacial]

It is regan.

The problem is framing a single question.

The point was to look at the differeing experiences between FTM and MTF. So, that means two threads. But there are other issues as well, those of us who need full transision, those who've acheived it, those who seek androgyn, those who cross dress.

Each of these is bound to have differing experiences.

But the poll system is limited and I was trying to work within that. If a decent questionare becomes available, on the net, which will allow different secondary questions to be posed, depending upon the initial responses, then hopefully we can do that.

Thank you for taking oart. Hopefully more Susans' members will also

[Debra]

4th Grade, told a female friend that I wanted to be a girl.

[regan]

It is regan.

What is?

In regards to everything else, I'd posted somewhere else that FtMs have more lattitude in (cross)gender expression.  Socially speaking, MtFs don't have as wide of a spectrum within to express themselves before a gender identity based label applies.

As I read my own words, I'm not expressing myself clearly enough.  In simpler terms, a birth assigned female can express masculine traits and find acceptance in the "tomboy" label.  The closest analogy that birth assigned males have is "metrosexual".  There is far greater lattitude in which to express a tomboy identity without it being a "gender identity" vs the narrow band a "metrosexual" can express his feminine side before it socially becomes a gender identity.

For that reason FtMs are able to publicly explore their gender expression over a longer period of time before transgender labels begin to define their self expression.

[Cassie]

About 3 or 4 when I was first really conscious of the difference between men and women. It started with a belief that i'd grow up like mum but became more painful when I realised it wouldn't happen. But it did

[Elsa]

I realized something was wrong when I was 5 maybe earlier 4 maybe.. ... I kept wondering why everyone would get upset about me wanting to spend time with other girls... and while growing up I preferred woman's clothing but the times I was able to publicly do so was just three times but loved it but  I was made fun of a lot for it which upset me ... and I used to wish that I would wake up in the morning and be a girl and often prayed for it...

I remember staying up one Christmas eve right up to midnight when I was 5 or 6 so that I could make a wish that I would be a beautiful girl... sadly did not happen... still kept hoping that my guy parts would fall off.., and did my best to pretend they weren't there.... 

[Rock_chick]

This is actually tricky...as a young child i was quite naive and didn't realise that there was a difference between girls and boys...so I didn't really know something was wrong. I did however feel uncomfortable around boys my own age (especially approaching puberty) and even thought that everyone had the bits I had downstairs and they'd just shrivel up and drop off as I got older. It wasn't until around 12/13 when i finally hit puberty that i realised something was wrong because i wasn't growing breasts.

[WendyWinters]

7-12 for me. At least that is the first time I remember but I suspect it was earlier. All of my closest friends were girls, even at that age.

[K8]

It was before I started kindergarten, which was at age 5.  I didn't think I was a girl - only that I should be a girl and that I'd fit into the world better as a girl.  I remember it quite clearly.  It must have been when I realized that girls and boys fit into society differently.

And I thought my body would just correct itself.  But darn it, I got tired of waiting and had to go to some doctors to correct it.

- Kate

[Cindy]

I don't know that his actions have anything to do with gender identity.  Self awareness of gender differences is usually tied into social situations so I would consider it a dynamic age range of when they're first able to comprehend the biological differences between boys and girls.  Until they understand there are two genders (classically speaking) everything would be genderless otherwise.  Such things as pink is for girls is actually a social construct.

Sorry for getting off topic, he allows boys to play with his toys but not girls. I just found it fascinating.