Too Supportive

[spacial]

Well I don't have a vagina right now so I'm a girl who has no choice but to give which I don't particularly like.  But hey wearing my keys on my belt could be construed as a sign to most guys as "can't touch this" ::insert MC Hammer tune::

Possibly.

But we need to learn to be who we are.

If you spend your time trying to conform to some ideal of womanhood you'll end up being the same stereotype that you've managed to shake off.

The point is, you're a woman. Everything else, you're you.

You probably know, I non-op. One of the problems I personally have is that I will be expected to live as and present as female. That will mean female clothes, padded bra, makup and so on.

Well, I like to wear jeans and a sweatshirt with Doc Martein shoes. (Comfortable). But that's not considred to be female clothing. Doh!

I would live to have a female shape, but I don't. So I don't see why I should wear a bra when I don't have anthing to put into it.

I do live as female.

I'm sorry of this sounds like a ramble, but what I'm trying to get at is we need to learn to be who we are.

Many women never wear a dress unless they needs to. Many never wear makup and don't own any. But that doesn't mean they aren't female.

At the moment, you need to make efforts in a number of directions, simply to satisfy the gate keepers. Humour them for as long as you need to.

Everyone else can accept you as you are, or get lost, frankly.

[regan]

But we need to learn to be who we are.

I told my therapist, by anyother name I would have grown up a tomboy.  But really?  I mean what did I really do, as a boy, growing up, had I been identified as female would have gotten a "isn't she just a little tomboy" or something like that.  I did have a doll (with matching stroller), I did play with nailpolish with my cousin (female), I preferred playing with her over anyone else, I didn't like sports, though I did like "action figures" and my only interest in barbie dolls was in looking at them and wondering what was wrong with me. 

So am I a self described tomboy becuase I never got a chance to be raised as a female or without the pressure to conform to a male role would I have been, well not a tomboy (as in how girly would I be had I been raised as a female)?

[Renate]

Friends and family will always give you advice on appearing more feminine.
For most of us appearing more feminine will make mis-gendering less likely.
The point is to decide what you do or don't care about.

If something is minor, you don't really care and it will decrease the "sirs", why not?
If you feel that something else is part of your core identity, keep it.

[Maddie Secutura]

Well I know who I am.  I'm on HRT and I'm working my but off to save for surgery for me.  I'm doing it because that's something I want and not for anyone else.  Its the fact that I'm comfortable with who I am that I don't find it necessary to be super feminine.  So I like getting all dressed up from time to time.  Of course I do.  I just don't want to have to do it on a regular basis.

And as far as decreasing the "sirs" it actually doesn't bother me as much.  Well let me be specific about that, if I'm dressed up to go out, make up and such then it would bother me.  But if I'm just walking around in my chucks, jeans and a sweater then I don't care as much because I'm not actively trying to appear feminine.  I don't know if that makes sense.  The whole point is I'm comfortable enough with who I am as a woman that I don't need to put effort into not getting called sir anymore.

[regan]

I haven't heard "t-shirt and jeans passable" used in a while.  Not that I think that's what we're after here, but do I need to wear a dress to be considered a woman or can I just slum it in a t-shirt and jeans and not have to worry about being sir'ed?  That's just my perspective.