Update ... I have gone ahead with a few things...

[Elsa]

After my last week's breakdown at the mall... I have gone ahead with a few things... thanks and a big hug to everyone for their support!!! 

Came out to a friend at work, she is a very close friend of mine and is a very sweet person and has been very supportive...

Came out to my mom yesterday... told her I was looking for my own place to live as much as I could as a woman.. and was planning SRS in 5-10 years or whenever I had the money... she was like you are just having a phase and not socializing enough ... then she she told me to keep going for therapy but not do anything to embarrass them... my parent have had a tough time these past few years and this was kinda a shock/surprise for her.. although she did suspect it...   

Came out to a person I worked next to .. but didn't have the time to explain everything... 

Came out .. again ... to 2 of my closest childhood friend ... they have been very supportive this time .... although one is still out of touch.. 

after years of searching found and met a good therapist and endocrinologist in the same week... the therapist claims to have a good past experience with GID patients and was recommended by another therapist for it.. hopefully no more self medication... (I know it is risky but after years waiting decided to hell with it..)

the therapist told me I needed to start living as much as I could a woman.. (have been presenting as a guy at work for my parents sake and for work)

still have not gotten around to get laser on my face and neck yet due to work timings ... but I have a few days off this coming week so...

[Vanessa_yhvh]

Amazing how the process picks up steam once it gets started, no?

[Janet_Girl]

It will be slightly up hill, but once you make the crest it is a sharp downhill run.

[annette]

Hi Vibes
good to hear you making progress.
at least you're not rejected so, things aren't that bad after all.
You're on your way now and in a few years we'll see a beautifull indian girl.
Go for your happiness girl
lots of love
annette

[Renate]

... then she she told me to keep going for therapy but not do anything to embarrass them...

Sorry, tough nougies for them, this is your life.
If your searching for happiness in your own life embarrasses them, tough nougies.

[erocse]

Vibes , sounds like things are moving along well. It's nice that you have a plan for yourself.

Your mom is right you are "having a phase" what she doesn't realize is that our phase lasts a lifetime.

"not do anything to embarrass them" Well  they need to work on how they feel about you. You are not an embarrassment to anyone !!

  Hugs, Roxy

[Elsa]

Thanks guys!! I am much happier now than I ever was before starting HRT ... although getting a bit annoyed with the therapists... endo recommends therapist who recommends a therapist experienced with GID patients who recommends another therapist for some test and now  after the test have to wait a week.... despite waiting several years ... waiting for the test results are annoying... I have no idea how much more running around I need to do...

Hopefully will be able to look in the mirror someday and see who I really am...

strangely .. my mom's words sounded like my friends did when rejected me 5 years ago...

saw a video of my college mates (I no longer speak to them) posted online where they were having a stand up comedy type thing where they were making fun of people while they weren't around (they are not exactly the best people in the world .. hence no longer speaking to them) ... where they made a joke about me where my voice and behavior would get all exited and girly when a cute guy walks by/or says hi to me... this was during that time when I was trying to be "normal" and was very controlled over my behavior and emotions/feelings... goes to show that sometime you cant change who you are and just need to be yourself...

::hugs::

[lilacwoman]

Hi Vibes.   stick with it as it is definietly worth it.
  you'll find you just move away from all the unaccepting peole.

[Rock_chick]

Once you the old ball rolling you'll find it very quickly gathers momentum. he he

[Elsa]

thanx guys!!! 

really appreciate the support...

another update: Got my first session of laser done on my face and neck! (Yippeeee!!!!!!! ) ... was painful but it think it be worth it ... 

Next meeting with therapist on day after today... hope it goes well!!!

::hugs::