How is your family taking your transition?

[Britney♥Bieber]

My parents don't want me to do it. They told me I should wait a few years and if I still wanted to then I could. They also told me I'm not mature enough. I don't think they believe in GID or transgender or anything. They've both expressed sadness in "losing a son" and my dad said he doesn't want me "jumping off the roof" but to "take the stairs" In discussing my trans issues, we've never had a good talk that didn't end bad or sadly. And once my mom told me she wouldn't call me female because I'm not. And I told my dad I don't feel like a man and he said but you are. They are being so stupid about this. I can't believe it. How can they tell me that I don't listen to their side when they refuse to sympathize with me?! So in short, my parents love and support me in everything I do except transition.

My youngest sister loves and supports me no matter what!
My older and closest sister supported me at the start but now says I shouldn't do it while I live here and my dad pays for my car insurance and food etc. I'm only 19!!
My oldest sister TELLS me she supports me, but behind my back talked to my sister about how I'm too young

My aunt knows and accepts me and I feel she is my biggest support. She checks in on me from time to time which makes me feel like someone really cares. Her husband (my uncle) knows but doesn't understand it but still loves and supports me. And their daughter (My favorite cousin!) Is supportive and totally cool.

One cousin that my sister is bffs with knows and supports me 100%

I have two more uncles to tell and they're both divorced but they both have two kids to tell. And I also have to tell my dads parents. We don't talk to my moms side anymore but if we did it's just one cousin and her parents.

I have a feeling my uncles will be okay with it. I hardly ever talk to them so they will probably be like my other uncle. I'm hoping. And I don't care how my other cousins react. Two of them hardly ever come around and two of them are like....slow. Idk if they'd understand. lol.


BUT my biggest support ever is my best friend Sami. She's my world! She was the first person I told and she loves and supports me with anything.

[AmySmiles]

Let's see...

Parents - Absolutely unsupportive.  My dad practically threatened me and claimed he would have to quit his job from embarrassment (huh?) and tried to guilt trip me in about 15 different ways.  Didn't work.  Both him and my mother outright dismissed every piece of evidence and every argument I used to justify myself.  I was called immature, impatient, selfish, and lots of other things... and apparently my mother was telling her friends later that I was going through a "teenage rebel phase"... at 27.  I've pretty much written them off for now because I know I'm "going to be able to pass" because I already "pass."  Hopefully they will improve with time once they see that I'm happier and doing well.

Grandmother - "Whatever you need to do will make me happy."

Brother and sister - Supportive, even if they're a bit uncomfortable about it.

Aunt - Completely supportive

Close friends - Completely supportive

All in all, I guess things are going pretty well so far.

[Tad]

Mom was good at first. Dad wasn't.

Both seem to be taking a passive aggresive apporach to it now. Not asying anything, but being forgetful and acting like I never came out to them, besides the fact that they have been looking at lots of ex-trans/ordered ex-trans propoganda. They hven't talked to me about it really in more then a month though.. and just keep same old same old.. sheing me.

[purple sky]

My parents were supportive at the start when I told them I needed to transition, My mother accompanied me to appointments, shared jewelery, went shopping, and gave me makeup. My Father was supportive by being understanding and assuring.

Now it seems that we drifted...I am hoping one day we will be Friends again. 

[cynthialee]

Tad;
I am so sorry you have to go through this crap with your family.
How they can look at you and fabricate a female persona is a crying shame.
Maybe they will come around.

[regan]

My parents don't want me to do it. They told me I should wait a few years and if I still wanted to then I could. They also told me I'm not mature enough. I don't think they believe in GID or transgender or anything. They've both expressed sadness in "losing a son" and my dad said he doesn't want me "jumping off the roof" but to "take the stairs" In discussing my trans issues, we've never had a good talk that didn't end bad or sadly. And once my mom told me she wouldn't call me female because I'm not. And I told my dad I don't feel like a man and he said but you are. They are being so stupid about this. I can't believe it. How can they tell me that I don't listen to their side when they refuse to sympathize with me?! So in short, my parents love and support me in everything I do except transition.

Your parents sound so much like my parents did when I first tried to transition.  I realize now, my mistake was in making my gender issues a tempertantrum.  Let them have their emotions, draw a line in the sand, but take the time to bit your tongue too.  Let them know that this is what you're doing and you want them to support you, don't demand that they support you.

[Nero]

Mom was good at first. Dad wasn't.

Both seem to be taking a passive aggresive apporach to it now. Not asying anything, but being forgetful and acting like I never came out to them, besides the fact that they have been looking at lots of ex-trans/ordered ex-trans propoganda. They hven't talked to me about it really in more then a month though.. and just keep same old same old.. sheing me.

From your avatar, they probably look ridiculous 'sheing' you. 

[Tad]

Tad;
I am so sorry you have to go through this crap with your family.
How they can look at you and fabricate a female persona is a crying shame.
Maybe they will come around.

The fact that I have a vagina equates girl to them. Even if they both acknowledged that I have never been feminine and had a suspicion that I would turn out trans. 

However, maleness should be denied, even if it is my core identity, because letting it be my life would be a sin. Most of this Ex-trans stuff they have (well dad has).. acknowledges that core identity can never be changed, but rather that it should be repressed, and that any situation that could bring up an issue should be avoided.. so apprently I am supposed to stay in a dark box with nothing to stimualte me XD.

They haven't said any of this to me, however the proganda that is laying around the house and that they've been looking at online summarizes this.

Dad first attempted to win me over, saying that I was a sexy female (shivers - so dirty), and that everyone goes through rough patches, and that I'm selling myself short by doing this, and that because I was forced to wear crappy makeup once when I was in Grade 9 - it turned me off of being female, and that my lack of relationships because boys weren't interested in me.. and relatives teasing me about that, and being bullied for years being called a he-she, and all that stuff is responsible for the way I am now.. lolz. oh dad, all that stuff is because I didn't fit in as a female and was not a female in the first place.

[Tad]

From your avatar, they probably look ridiculous 'sheing' you. 

yep they've gotten in arguemnts with hotel clerks before over my gender. bahahahaaha.

[Arch]

I wonder if my brother is not as okay with it as he pretended at first. He rarely contacts me, he rarely posts to my Facebook page, and he's always hostile on Facebook when he responds to me--over silly, trivial stuff. My first mental response to his last FB post a couple of days ago was "F*** you!" I almost unfriended him. I don't know what his problem is unless it's the trans thing...or the poor economy has made him hostile and it's transferring to me. Except I've seen some of his FB responses to other people, and he's not nasty to them.

That's right, now I'm your ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<- fudgepacking BROTHER. If it bothers you, think of how much it has bothered me all of these years. Jeez, grow the f*** up. I did just fine without you for twenty years, and I can do it for another twenty. ->-bleeped-<-.

[K8]

Arch, as a Luddite who doesn't do Facebook, maybe I'm out of line here.  But can't you 'unfriend' you brother and not let him bother you?  Just because he's your biological brother doesn't mean that he has to be your friend (evidently).

Be cool, Arch.

- Kate

[pretty pauline]

My Mother was totally supportive and actively encouraged my transition, my Father just excepted it because it made my Mother happy, out of my 3brothers, 2 supported my transition, my closest brother didn't support me, didn't except me becoming a woman, but finally had to except me when I had my srs surgery, he knew then that I was never going back, other relatives slowly excepted my changing situation, some never did, but as I always say ''those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind''
Pauline

[Layn]

let's see.
they say they are supportive, which in reality means my mom tells me that i should visit this doctor and that doctor and maybe look for some more (all of which i go to, it's not like they ever end up disagreeing that i'm transsexual, and most times they end up actually trying to explain to my mother that she's not helping) and my dad walks out of the room whenever we talk about this. Yep, i'm really feeling the love and support there!

well at least they aren't trying to stop me from transitioning.

[Jillieann Rose]

My wife hates it.
My children think I'm crazy or worst.
My wife and children have tried to stop me and did for awhile.
My sisters are religious and I'm sure they would think I'm demon possessed.
That's about it.

So I hope you all have a Merry Christmas with your families.
Jilleann

[cynthialee]

my 4 kids are very supportive and even joke, this is despite that they have been teased at school. My close frineds and the people I work for, are A OK. My problem is the mother of my kids how goes around town tellin people I am a fetichist pervet.

I would return the favor...

[VeronikaFTH]

I've been pretty lucky so far, in that most all of my immediate family, and most of my friends have voiced support. My ten year old daughter doesn't care in the least, she's fine with it.

My mother initially was having a bit difficulty understanding what was going on, but she did some research on her own and started really delving into the topic. After seeing that we're not all creepy weirdos but normal people, she's really coming around in a big way... I think she's turning out to be one of my biggest supporters. Lots of "Love you"s over the phone, sending me text messages, etc.

My father is up in the air, he doesn't know about me yet, but for the life of me I don't know how he hasn't figured it out. I even work with him on a daily basis, and neither him nor anyone else at my work has said a thing... and I haven't come out at work. 24 months on hormones, hair grown out, get ma'amed right and left (even in guy mode), and not one person at work has asked me what's going on, or even made a comment about me looking different. Honestly I could probably go get FFS and people might say "Hmm... did you cut your hair or something?"

Very odd... vendors and salespeople stop by and give me funny looks, but my co-workers, bosses, and my own father are oblivious.

Enough digression... Anyway, I have a feeling 'ol dad isn't going to take it too well, he's a bit of a racist and homophobe. I suppose I'd better do the coming out in a public place just for safety's sake.

[Cindy]

I

My father is up in the air, he doesn't know about me yet, but for the life of me I don't know how he hasn't figured it out. I even work with him on a daily basis, and neither him nor anyone else at my work has said a thing... and I haven't come out at work. 24 months on hormones, hair grown out, get ma'amed right and left (even in guy mode), and not one person at work has asked me what's going on, or even made a comment about me looking different. Honestly I could probably go get FFS and people might say "Hmm... did you cut your hair or something?"

Very odd... vendors and salespeople stop by and give me funny looks, but my co-workers, bosses, and my own father are oblivious.

I'm not quite in the same position but I'm not out at work, but I have gone through lots of physical changes. Nobody has said diddly. A work colleague who is a friend and knows Cindy came in for a coffee last week. She is on maternity leave and we haven't seen each other for about 6 months, although we speak regularly. During a coffee she said, has anyone said anything? I said about what? About you presenting as female. She went on. Your face looks totally feminine, OK your hair is male but your eyebrows are shaped, you don't have any facial hair, your wearing hoops bigger than mine, your mannerisms are feminine, and your nipples are showing. By now I'm totally embarrassed; but no one has said anything too me, I say. I bet there is a heap of talk behind your back, she replied. BTW she wasn't being rude or negative, just being observant. I thought I had made small changes over time and people hadn't noticed. Oh Well

Cindy

[Janet_Girl]

And when you do, Cindy, they will all say "Yeah OK everyone knows".

[Cindy]

Hi Janet,

I was saying the other day I cannot believe where I have been and where I am going. I think I joined Susan's November? 2008; a frightened little boy with more problems than anyone should have. I'm now a confident woman who looks forward to the future but doesn't know how to proceed. Familiar story on this site really.

Cindy

[Arch]

Arch, as a Luddite who doesn't do Facebook, maybe I'm out of line here.  But can't you 'unfriend' you brother and not let him bother you?  Just because he's your biological brother doesn't mean that he has to be your friend (evidently).

I simmered for a couple of days and gave him a smart-alecky reply. Don't want him to think he got to me. I guess I'm not ready to unfriend him. But I wish he weren't so much like my mother.