Hello, I'm REALLY new

[Double_Rainbow]

Hello, I'm a 24 yr old  in the process of taking the necessary steps for MTF (I haven't started hormones).  I've always been unhappy with myself and going in out of depression since my teenage years and not really fully understanding why.  Its definitely affected my health, jobs, and social life as I'm pretty much a shut in right now afraid to go out in the skin I'm in.

I never really had knowledge of all the great resources and places(like this forum ) out there, and maybe because I was afraid to look.  I'm really very anxious, scared, but most of all excited about transitioning.  I know its a long road ahead though.

I live with my girlfriend who is the only close person I've told, and who has told me she wants to be there for me and is actually helping me find a lot of resources.  I'm almost in disbelief at her willingness and acceptance after I told her.  She said she had suspicions about me all along but didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to offend.

The one thing that is perpetually giving me anxiety is the fact we have a 3 year old daughter together and I'm really scared about what I'm doing for myself may end up confusing her at this young age and trying to convey to her about calling me "daddy" is also worrying, I just haven't figured out how to go about it yet. 

Most of all, I just want to be happy and I almost feel blessed having a supporting partner, but I still have a lot to learn and I plan on sticking around this forum for a long time as it just seems like a great place! 

[xAndrewx]

Welcome to Susans double_rainbow 

I'm glad you found the site. There are a good few trans parents on here who can probably offer you some advice with your fear of confusing your daughter. Oddly enough I've found kids take it the easiest. Again welcome and I look forward to reaching your future posts

[Double_Rainbow]

Thank you for the welcome!  I'm already looking around and finding some great questions and answers that are really easing the tension. 

[annette]

Hi Double-rainbow

welcome to the forum.
In my days of transition I also had a little shild, it's a grown up now, but I've tried to explain him on a childish way compare to his age, it never was a problem and I still have a wonderfull relationship with my son.
He's a father now himself and I'm enjoying the company of my grandson now.
so things can work out very positive when you stay honest and explain things compare to their age.
I'll hope this will give you a reduce of fear for the future.

hugs
annette

[bethw]

Welcome double_rainbow . If there's anything i can do for you just let me know. even if it's just someone to listen.
Hugs
Beth

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Double_Rainbow,

Welcome to our little family. Over 4700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

[Susan Baum]

Hi, Double Rainbow.  Welcome to the Family

The one thing that is perpetually giving me anxiety is the fact we have a 3 year old daughter together and I'm really scared about what I'm doing for myself may end up confusing her at this young age and trying to convey to her about calling me "daddy" is also worrying, I just haven't figured out how to go about it yet. 

I can understand your concern about your daughter but (if you will accept the opinion of one who is "only" a crossdresser) it wasn't an issue in our house.  I wrote a bit about it here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,88766.msg637167.html#msg637167

Michael Alexander is right, children are probably more open to change because they have few preconceived ideas plus they have probably not yet been exposed to the hostility heaped the community. 

Thinking on it now, Chelle and I probably could have introduced me to our daughter earlier but in reality it was those same preconceptions that held *us* back.  If you are open and honest with your daughter, at her level, things should work out well – most especially with a supportive partner.  In our daughter's case, she moved easily between calling me Suzy and Daddy depending on my style of clothing. 

When you go full time – as I presume you will – give her the choice and let her have some input;  whether her preferred address be "Rainbow," Mommy Rainbow or something else entirely, she will identify it uniquely to you.  Chances are it will change, just as we were transformed into Mom and Susan or Pawpaw.   

Susan

[VeryGnawty]

Most children don't have much of a concept of gender until they are about 5 years old.  It's just not a very important concept before then.

If the bundle of joy is only three, there is plenty of time to teach her how to respect people before she becomes indoctrinated by modern society.  Modern society has a poor track record of teaching human beings how to tolerate each other's differences.

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Double-rainbow,
Its good to meet you.
How family especially young ones react is a concern most of us have.
I have 4 grandchildren and I am not ready for them to see there Grandpa as a women.
Two of them will be at our house for New Years.
Welcome to Susan's
Jillieann

[Double_Rainbow]

Thank you for the kind welcomes, I've been lurking  around reading lots of stuff.  Whew!  Lots of stuff I really didn't know!