not passing, stings even more when you are on T

[cynthialee]

Just refer to them as their wrong gender when they gender you falsely. Should make the point.

[Aikotribs]

Don't let it get to you, I work in a big place too, I see mistakes like this happen and I'm guilty of them too when I'm in a hurry.
Especially when my shift is ending, everyone starts to look the same rofl.

You look like a bioguy, so next time take a breath and correct them, the'll be all 'dude, I'm sorry'  X]

[Maddie Secutura]

Im sorry dude! Today i was at starbucks with my friend and the girl who works there goes "what can i get for you sir?" i gave her my order and she asked for my name to write on the cup. i stupidly gave her my female name, i dont know why! and when we were leaving she made sure to say very loudly "have a nice day LADIES." i felt like everyone was looking at me and it was quite embarrassing. i agree with the others that i cant see you anything other than male, so dont let it get to you. youll be passing 100% of the time very soon.

If you think about it, it makes sense.  I mean if you pass as male and then assert yourself as female (even by mistakenly giving a female name) whoever read you as male is going to feel bad about it.  She thinks she needs to make you feel better about it and point it out to everyone else in case they were thinking the same thing.  So, she says LADIES quite loudly.  I know it doesn't feel any better but she thought she was doing you a favor.

[Michael Joseph]

Ya your right, it does make sense. I need to work on my confidence a little bit more. Some days i wake up with so much confidence, and those days i usually pass really well. The days that i feel less confident i guess i give myself away more

[Maddie Secutura]

Unfortunately we're our own worst enemy when it comes to passing.  And it's when you try the most that it gets shoved in your face.  Even if you had a week's worth of beard stubble it's possible to be mis-gendered.  It has happened to me a few times when the cashier just wasn't paying attention.

[Sharky]

I'm a cashier and I accidentally used male pronouns with a woman once. It was just a slip of the tongue. I was trying to get her attention, since she walked off before I could give her the receipt. She didn't respond to the hey sir, so I'm not sure they heard it, but I felt bad. It may have just been a mistake. I know at the store I work at, you have so much going on all the time, it can be hard to really think about what you are doing. Pretty much just on auto pilot trying to survive to your next 15 minute break.

LOL...yeah. I remember when i was a boy..pre transition. I was 16 and for 3 weeks my substitute teacher thought i was a girl, i was trying so hard to be "tough" and be a "man". so my classmates wont tease me for being "gay". I remember he asked a question in class and when i volunteered the answer he would go: "and did everybody hear what she said?"
OMG i wanted to shrink up in my seat and die. I got teased hardcore after that.
There were several more incidents of that happening in college, where i would try very hard to 'pass' as a guy just so i wont get teased by other guys. so yes it does happen even to bio males...it just..happens.

I had something like that happen to me. Only one girl sitting across from me noticed that the teacher called me he though. She looked mortified for me. Just by looking at your avatar, I couldn't picture you as a guy KillBelle.

[austin86]

Totally feel ya bro. It's to be expected pre T but once you start T you actually begin to feel like a real man and having society not see you as that is frustrating. Everybody said I looked like a guy after being on T for awhile but yet I still didn't pass every once in awhile and I tell you what those one or two people who call you she totally cancel out all the ones that call you he. It took me up til the 5 month mark to completely pass and now 8 months on T I have no issue, so hang in there man you will get there.

[Mr.Hyde]

Ok and has anyone experiencied this?

You're walking alone to one place, you pass to the 100% of the people. Then you come back with a female friend, and everyone call you "she". Going alone=man, going with other boys= man, going with a girl (who could be your gf)=woman? what kind of understanding has the people in general?

This has been happening to me and it's really annoying, you can feel like a king, then someone calls you a she, then your day turns into ->-bleeped-<-.

PS: Hey Austin I just love the way you look on your avatar! so cool!

[Brent123]

thanks everyone.. maybe it was because I was wearn a big hoodie.. which can be gender neutral

I think the thing about hoodies is that yes, they are gender neutral. However, they can also make your neck look small which is a feminine trait. At least that's how it works for me. When I wear a hoodie, I have to wear a shirt under that has a tighter neck so that my neck doesn't look to feminine.

Does that make sense?

[Sean]

Ok and has anyone experiencied this?

You're walking alone to one place, you pass to the 100% of the people. Then you come back with a female friend, and everyone call you "she". Going alone=man, going with other boys= man, going with a girl (who could be your gf)=woman? what kind of understanding has the people in general?

This has been happening to me and it's really annoying, you can feel like a king, then someone calls you a she, then your day turns into ->-bleeped-<-.

The company you keep affects how people view you.

The way two girls walk and talk to each other, or even just walk, is different from how a boy and a girl walk with each other, whether or not they are girlfriend. Body language, distance, contact, etc. - it is ALL different. You may pass just fine alone, but the subtle implications of how you and your female friends present may make you seem more like a girl, even if you are not talking to or touching your friend.