Post op relationships...

[Evan]

To those who have already transistioned, have you been in a relationship since? And if so, is it with the sex that you were attracted to before transition.

I was just courious as to how many people handled this. Sorry if I am being a bit intrusive.

[Kimberly]

While I am not post transition in the way I believe you are thinking I am rather certain that I know myself well enough to know that what is to come will change nothing in this regard, so with that in mind...

I always thought I was a 'normal' (ok abnormal) heterosexual male, i.e. attracted to females. Now I find I was closer to a repressed bisexual, or pansexual or whatever they want to call it. I care about the person, the details don't matter. This is not to say I don't have my preferences but those preferences are not deal breaking.

I hope that is of some help to you.

[Evan]

While I am not post transition in the way I believe you are thinking I am rather certain that I know myself well enough to know that what is to come will change nothing in this regard, so with that in mind...

I always thought I was a 'normal' (ok abnormal) heterosexual male, i.e. attracted to females. Now I find I was closer to a repressed bisexual, or pansexual or whatever they want to call it. I care about the person, the details don't matter. This is not to say I don't have my preferences but those preferences are not deal breaking.

I hope that is of some help to you.

A lot of help actually. That is how I feel. I am a transexual and have all the urges to change my sex. I am simply not willing to my family through it. I have seem to be attracted to both sexes for different reasons. I have only been with women up to this point but due to the jelousy I feel even for the to ones that I have loved, I think that I am going to try one with a guy to see if it makes things any easier. For the most part the prospect of this neither revolts or excites me because it seems like a big non-issue.


I can't tell if this stems from the fact that my personal gender identity issues have lessened the importance of gender in others and allowed me to view it seperately from who they are,or....

It is just because for a very long time, I have considered myself female in my head. And would see it as a heterosexual relationship mentally.

I don't even identify with what I see in the mirror. I used to hide from it but now I have gotten to the point where my body serves more as a vehicle than a part of me. Shaving in the mirror is like washing my car.

I am not jumping into anything. I am just courious.

[Evan]

Well, I've been in the same relationship since prior to transition.  I really don't think that the relationship with my BF will be any different after SRS.  I have always been heterosexual, and I don't really think that can change with hormones, transition, or SRS.  Now probably I should mention that since my gender identity has always been female, I have never seen my romantic relationships with other guys to be homosexual, for I am a woman and not a guy.  This is why eventhough I tried to explore the gay life before transition, I always felt soooooo out of place, for everyone seemed to see a "gay guy" when they saw me and not the woman I really am/was.


tinkerbell

I am going through this as well. I almost feel like I am tricking them. I don't feel gay. I felt gayer with my ex-girlfriend. Like I was filling an unnatural role at times.

[swindon lady]

 :laugh:i am post-op and have had relationships with both sex;s so that makes me bisexual. but i was married pre-op to two females so the answer maybe that i am still confused but also enjoying life to the full

[Ricki]

tink i see you on cyber line as the most beautiful woman i can imagine!  For sure!!!!! xoxo
Kimberly i like the pansexual thing i think I've done this i think??
Ricki
Oh the question i am female (non op) present as male so i guess i am relationshipping with everything i think??
WeHeeeeeeeeeee

[cindianna_jones]

Yes relationships are possible.  They can be just as fulfilling as that for any other person.  It all boils down to finding an understanding person and giving your life to him/her.

If you have any selfish tendencies, you need learn to give them up.  A successful relationship will require all of your unhindered love.

I dated for a few years.  I had a couple marraige proposals.  I accepted the last one and we've been together for 15 wonderful years.

Cindi

[Sheila]

I'm post op for over two years now. I'm married to the same woman for over 37 years and we are still very much in love. I would never ever think of cheating on my spouse. I know that she wouldn't either as she would have left by now. I look at guys and I look at girls, but I'm not drawn to either one. If we ever do part, I will cross that bridge when I get there. I believe in marriage and my vows. My transition had to do with me and not anything to do with sex.
Sheila

[Ricki]

Cindianna brings up a good point,,,,,,,
I would not call myself selfish.. BUT---------------
I've been single for quite a while and that leads to some degree of selfishness and self-centeredness.. But it's my world and if i am the one in it? Well.....One cannot help but develope some of those tendencies.
I'll agree though to go into a relationship there are a lot of changes and compromises.
I would have to make some big changes, share more, be more responsible with my time and how i spend it, etc....
Not sure if right now is the time i am even interested on something like that?
throw in the ts part and G-U-L-P-!
hugs
Ricki