*picks up shattered pieces of her nerves*

[Nikki_W]

I went out shopping as me for the first time today. I will now quietly go have a heart attack. If I survive that I'll go out again.

[Peggiann]

You will servive dear because you servive the shopping ordeal itself. Congradulations on the courage it took to do it to begin with. So you better start planning what you'll wear out shopping the next time and when and where you'll go.

Smiles,
Peggiann

[cindianna_jones]

yea... but it's a rush right?  Don't you just love the heightened senses and the blood pumping?  It truly was the most invigorating thing in my life at the time.

Cindi

[Hazumu]

I quickly get lost in trying to find things:

-That I WANT to wear and

-That are in my size

(It sux to be tall sometimes, and it REALLY sux when what I want isn't offered in anywhere NEAR my size.)

Now the rush only lasts a few moments before I'm absorbed in SHOPPING...

Karen

[Nikki_W]

yea... but it's a rush right?  Don't you just love the heightened senses and the blood pumping?  It truly was the most invigorating thing in my life at the time.

Cindi

My senses were horrible. lol I think I look ALOT better in girl mode without glasses so I left them in the car.(need to get contacts) I'm near sighted so every person I walked past I wondered if they were looking at me if so how long? Couldn't see facial features enough to tell which direction they were looking. Getting no feedback from passerbys was hard. I may wear glasses next time just for the feedback even if it harder to pass a glance. Don't know on that one personally I still think my beard shadow was visible so I was really sweating my facial appearance.

Between my own shopping and my girlfriend buying me some of the harder items to get in boy mode, I finally got all the things I needed(minimum). Got completely dressed for the first time tonight. I could pick apart a million problems with the end result but I looked more like a female than the guy I normally see in the mirror so decided to try shopping. Stopped for gas first then when to walmart. The nerves hit about 10' from the entrance by that point I figured I'd look like more of an idiot turning around than keeping going.

Pretty much every person I passed I wondered if they spotted something wrong with me in particular beard shadow or my big feet(was wearing size 12 bright white male tennis shoes) Bought some food I needed a pair of size 10 womens tennis shoes(10 1/2 would have been better but couldn't find a pair) and a purse to put my glasses in next time. Paid(I LOVE self checkout lol) then got in the car changed shoes and went home.

Big problem to deal with is going to be beard shadow I swear I could still see it even after magic cube concealer and foundation. :-(

Off Topic: Is there some post count, time registered or logged in I need before I get out of this can only post and read cage?

[cindianna_jones]

I quickly get lost in trying to find things:

-That I WANT to wear and

-That are in my size

(It sux to be tall sometimes, and it REALLY sux when what I want isn't offered in anywhere NEAR my size.)

Now the rush only lasts a few moments before I'm absorbed in SHOPPING...

Karen

Oh Karen, you are so far past that thing... you still get a rush at all?  I got so pumped up when I was out and could tell that everything was working and I was passing.  I wanted to yell to the world  "I'm a girl!".  But I didn't want to draw more attention to myself.  That would change as I became a 30 year old teenager.

Cindi

[Nikki_W]

yea... but it's a rush right?

Ok now the rush hit. :-) Still haven't changed just put my hair(wig) in a ponytail and looking past all the imperfections(increasingly obvious beard shadow, natural hair visible because of the ponytail, male glasses and more) I saw a pretty girl. WOOT! Now I keep going back to the mirror... lol

[Dennis]

Way back before I first started testosterone, I thought that to be trans, you had to cross dress. So, off I went to buy my first pair of boxer briefs (k, I wasn't going over the top or anything, just the underwear). My palms were sweaty, I was terrified. I was in Wal Mart, and I was trying to read the measurements on the boxer brief packages to figure out what size I'd wear. I bought a bunch of other stuff too to hide the fact that I was buying boxer briefs.

And my god, if I'd thought about it, most of my mother's friends buy their husbands underwear and don't think twice about it. Of course nobody would worry about a woman buying boxer briefs.

Damn, if I'd known how comfortable those damn things were, I could've saved all that friggin money I spent on women's Jockey underwear ($20 per pair) and paid for my freakin chest surgery years ago.

Dennis

[Nikki_W]

I thought that to be trans, you had to cross dress.

Sadly that's true for me tomorrow I have to go to class as a guy. :-(