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Vagina: like owning a dog

Started by CaitJ, December 25, 2010, 07:00:41 PM

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CaitJ

Yes, owning a neo vagina is like owning a dog.
By this I mean that it is a full time commitment.
If you've never owned a dog, cat or any vertebrate larger than a rabbit, you may be unprepared for the time and energy that your vagina requires.
For example, dilating. Three times a day you need to take your vagina for a 'walk'. You need to make sure you do this every day, so that your vagina doesn't get unhappy and unhealthy.
You also need to feed your vagina, with a steady supply of condoms, sanitary pads, lube, cleansers and ointments.
Your vagina will often dictate what activities you do during the day, because you need to make time to schedule your walks and feeding times.
Your vagina will also make a mess; you will need to do laundry more often and have a steady supply of clean underthings.
Your vagina may also disappoint you; like pets, they don't always turn out like you expected or behave as you hoped they would. You may need to put extra time into your vagina for it to perform how you desired, or you may need to accept that your expectations were unrealistic and learn to love your vagina, no matter how flawed it may seem.
Vagina.
Not for the faint of heart.
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juliemac

ROTFL....
Nothing I can add to that  :)

It would make a great T shirt  :)

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Kristyn

Yep.  That about sums it up.  Perfect analogy!  :)
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Nero

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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tekla

Does it sit?
Beg?
Fetch?
Scare off intruders?
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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CaitJ

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tekla

Well I know that you didn't need it to do the number 4, I'm sure your naturally sunny disposition does that on an Olympic level.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Janet_Girl

Quote from: tekla on December 25, 2010, 10:59:59 PM
Well I know that you didn't need it to do the number 4, I'm sure your naturally sunny disposition does that on an Olympic level.
Quote from: tekla on December 25, 2010, 10:39:06 PM
Does it sit?
Beg?
Fetch?
Scare off intruders?

Uncalled for, Tekla.  Play nice.

Cute Vexing.  Really cute, but knowing the procedures involved, very true.
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tekla

And here I thought I was being nice and showing Xmas spirit by not going for the 'well give it a bone and let it gnaw on it for a while before it goes out and buries it in the back yard.'

And, for the record, I didn't go near the worming jokes or the flea collar material either.

I give serious replies to serious questions regardless of who asks them, and deal with silly analogies in a silly way regardless of who makes them, if my humor was better than original writer, then they need to improve.  Really, when that analogy was written the 'fetch' and 'flea collar' didn't flash on them?
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Janet_Girl

That was totally uncalled for, Tekla.   If we can not be respectful, leave the thread alone and keep your comments to yourself.
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Jessica B

Respectfully,
-Jessica Baker
Twisted Ivy

"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible"
-Frank Zappa
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Elsa

Quote from: Dee_pntx on December 26, 2010, 01:47:29 AM
Pain in the ass that it will be, I would rather all that than what's there now.
What's there now is zero maintenance but it's gross and disgusting and doesn't belong.

Good thing I always wanted a dog.. but I would prefer this instead so I can understand how you feel...
Sometimes when life is a fight - we just have to fight back and say screw you - I want to live.

Sometimes we just need to believe.
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juliemac

Quote from: tekla on December 25, 2010, 10:39:06 PM
Scare off intruders?

A few days after surgery? Maybe...

After the doctor did the first cleaning, I made the comment "If more women looked like that, there would be more gay men in the world"
Went over like a ton of bricks... (American to Thai humor does not blend well)

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Suigeniris

Dreams are illustrations...from the book your
soul is writing about yourself....



[color=yello
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Muffin

lols funny analogy indeed.... and tekla was funny for once and got busted for it! that's just.... triply funny >__________<
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VeryGnawty

Quote from: Dee_pntx on December 26, 2010, 01:47:29 AM
Pain in the ass that it will be, I would rather all that than what's there now.
What's there now is zero maintenance but it's gross and disgusting and doesn't belong.

Same here.  What I've got is low maintenance, but it is extremely out of place.
"The cake is a lie."
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KillBelle

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CaitJ

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KillBelle

So guys can give me a hard time.
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