Disclosure in a perfect situation?

[blackMamba]

Interesting hypothetical situation.  Hypothetical in that you never know if people will handle it "ideally".  The way it was worded, I assume you didn't mean romantic "friend"?

For me the only answer that would be acceptable is c).  If I have to hide my past, they are not an ideal friend.  If I am going to be spending a lot of time with this person, it takes way too much energy to sidestep memories of past situations and the context of the gender I was living at the time.  Romantic friend or not, the answer is a no-brainer for me.  The baggage comes with.

[VanOcc]

I don't know if the OP asked this question specifically for post op MtFs but for FtMs it's kind of impossible to not tell a partner lol. I think it's absolutely crucial for a relationship to have complete honesty and I know I would tell a partner if I was transitioning or even if I was post-op.

Personally, I've always regarded transition as a life long kind of thing.. and in a sense you have to abandon traditional ideas of what a female bodied person is (XX, basically, with no genetic sex abnormalities) because as a MtF that's never going to happen. In terms of bodies tho of course, a post op MtF is very lucky that they can achieve what a born female would take for granted.. I just think that transitioning would be such an integral part of the person you are today that you would not be able to not tell a partner. It made you who you are.. and if a potential partner was so offended by the idea how could you accept them when essentially, you are in terms of body, a transsexual? it seems hypocritical to me. Then again I'd want to be involved with the trans community and be able to support other pre op or non op transgendered people without having to worry about 'secrets'.

Although of course a lot of trans people want to leave behind their trans identity when they fully transition (I may be talking solely about those who can achieve a full transition), so everyone's different.

[MeghanAndrews]

Awesome question, bearded I believe in accepting my past and not dismissing it, no matter how far I've come. I don't need to have my past a constant subject of discussion but I would like to think that I am open to talking about anything at all with my partner (assuming this is partner and not just best friend). I believe in forming very, very deep bonds with a bff and with a partner. I don't want to not share something but I also expect reciprocity. I would be hurt if I was friends with someone sharing everything about myself and they were holding something back. Even if you put in there that the person WOULDN'T be accepting, I'd still tell them. I couldn't be close friends with someone who would reject me based on transition. That's a bunch of blah that I just couldn't participate in, you know? But I would have a hard time with like a guy spouse or a boyfriend talking about gender stuff all the time. It would kind of creep me out and make me think there's a different reason he wants to talk about it (like is he taking notes or gathering ideas of his own?). Well, I don't know, lol, I guess this is a super interesting question.

Just know that I'm not one of these people that believes that my whole entire life pre-transition didn't happen and that I need to spend my energy negating it. I believe my life is a whole series of interconnected events, thoughts, etc. and I need to keep them cohesive to feel like it all makes sense. That's just me though. Great question Meghan

[regan]

Personally, I've always regarded transition as a life long kind of thing.. and in a sense you have to abandon traditional ideas of what a female bodied person is (XX, basically, with no genetic sex abnormalities) because as a MtF that's never going to happen. In terms of bodies tho of course, a post op MtF is very lucky that they can achieve what a born female would take for granted..

Post-op MtF bodies are indeed fairly close to XX bodies, but its a little bit of an overgeneralization to say that we can achieve what born females (bodied) take for granted.  We must take hormones on a daily basis that our otherwise female bodies do not produce enough of naturally (post-menopausal women aside), in fact we are at increased risk for cancers becuase of the medications, for that matter since we were born with prostates we are still at risk for prostate diseases (including cancer).  The list goes on and on, but I'll remind you that we pay dearly (financially, emotionally, etc) for what born females get to take for granted.