Impeding on Dude-Land?

[MeghanAndrews]

Hey! Fellas! I have a general topic/discussion/question and I want you to be honest, k? How do you feel about MTF and non-dudes coming into your forums and responding to posts and generally engaging in conversation? I see a lot of super interesting topics in your area many times and then sometimes I see the responses and it feels like me responding is the equivalent of walking in on a living room of guys talking and sharing my thoughts. In some cases, that just wouldn't be cool. I'm thinking mainly of like topics that are general and open, not stuff that I have never related too. Like I don't deal much with some of the things you guys talk about but some of the topics are things I have experience with or where I just want to converse about. What do you guys think? Not just about me, but in general? Inquiring minds want to know Meghan

[PixieBoy]

I think that it's prefectly fine for you non-blokes to come in here. I tend to stay out of the MTF subforum, mostly because I can't be of any help and answer the questions asked there. Sometimes I do butt in there and answer something, though, but mostly I don't.

So yeah, it's perfectly all right. I don't mind at all.

[LordKAT]

If the answer or comment is relative, post away. I don't look at what forum it is on, to me it is all the same.

[Mr.Rainey]

As long as they are respectful yeah.

Its not like it says 'Boys club house no girls allowed".

[Sean]

I agree that it's cool when relevant. The quality of ideas and opinions should stand for themselves, without regard to whom is sharing.

My only 'concern' - which is albeit just MY opinion - is that I like susan's because there is an active group of guys posting here. I feel like it's easy for FTMs spaces to get over-run by MTFs, and it really does change the entire tone and tenor of the dialogue when that happens.

I guess what I'm saying is that I think it's neat when MTFs have stuff to add and offer here. But we do have the 'common' areas and we do have the MTF specific areas. And I would hate to see the FTM area become co-opted by in-jokes, flirtiness, or the general vibe that is typically found in coed or MTF designated areas.

So I guess what I'd say is: sure, join in, but please be mindful that this *is* Dude-land and not Everybody-land.   

[Osiris]

Personally, I think it's fine for ladies to chime in when they have something relevant to say. I've gotten some great advice from some of the women here. My only issue is the occasions where someone posts something along the lines of "OMG How can you stand that? I'm SO glad I'm not living as a guy anymore!" That's kinda rude and sortta makes you go "uh... and the point of that interjection was...?"

But yeah, as someone else said we just have to be respectful of each other's point of view. I think there will always be some things that we're just not gonna understand about each other cause of our perspectives and experiences.

[Lee]

Nos casa es su casa
It's always nice to have another point of view on things.

[VeryGnawty]

I come here to learn more about the body and people's experiences.  I try not to post too often, though.  I don't want to overrun the forum.  I know how us girls can be complete chatterboxes.

[xAndrewx]

Cool with me as long as it's on topic and not offensive. Though I do agree with what Sean said too.

I don't comment much on the girls section but I tend to read there. Knowledge is power or something like that. Basically I just like knowing a lot about the entire trans community because it gives me the ability to have a logical conversation about both sides  

[DRAIN]

I don't usually mind, but there are certain topics that tend to irk me when MTFs post, especially dysphoria related, physical changes, and sometimes passing/public perception related posts. A lot of times the responses come across as dismissive or just plain bragging that "well i'm SO glad i'm not a guy anymore" or "now that i'm on estrogen....". it's irrelevant and can sometimes be intrusive and verges on making me feel uncomfortable. but that's just me

if it's relevant AND helpful and not dismissive, then the more the marrier

[ALX]

Glad to have you as far as I'm concerned

[Alex201]

Doesn't bother me 

[JosephKT]

I feel like you already have the mindset we appreciate.  You already said you don't post when it's relevant or things you don't deal with, but when you have stuff to say that you have experience with.  My problem is when people hijack a post and start long arguments about things not about the original poster's comment, like coming in with "oh, this is all just male bigotry" when it's been clearly said before it's kinda guys just ranting.
As long as everyone it being thoughtful and on-track, ftm, mtf, pre-op, non-op, post, doesn't matter to me.

[sneakersjay]

I think it is fine, especially when  you share your experiences of when you had to pretend to be male.  Sometimes that info is very useful to us.


Jay

[CaitJ]

To be perfectly honest, the FTM forums are way more active than the MTF ones, so it's difficult not to engage sometimes.
However, there is an option to hide certain child forums if you don't want to see them. I'm happy to use that if the men don't want any intrusion.

[VeryGnawty]

I think it is fine, especially when  you share your experiences of when you had to pretend to be male.  Sometimes that info is very useful to us.

Yeah.  I think sometimes I know more about being male than cis males, because I had to study masculine behavior and force myself to emulate it.  Most of my guy friends just do what they do without really thinking about why they are doing it.  My friend is like that.  He can't figure out why I don't like being a guy.  But at the same time, I don't think he can figure out why he likes masculine activities even when they frustrate him.

I found that people perceived me as male the most when I had a very "hard" personality.  Remember, the "tough guy" is always tough, regardless of what his actual reputation is.  The more you care about what people think about you, the more feminine/submissive you will seem.  It's not that guys are less sociable than girls, because that's not the case.  It's the way they relate to the society around them that matters.  Guys tend to have a very independent, do-it-yourself mentality.  All of my male friends display this type of personality in some form or fashion.  It's very common.

[CaitJ]

The more you care about what people think about you, the more feminine/submissive you will seem.

I can't think of a word that I would hate to be described as more than the bolded word above - except maybe "spineless".

[VeryGnawty]

I can't think of a word that I would hate to be described as more than the bolded word above - except maybe "spineless".

I have both dominant and submissive aspects to my personality.  But I know some girls who are dominant almost all the time.  In fact, much more dominant than any of my guy friends.

[Sharky]

That wouldn't bother me at all. Insight from those with different backgrounds can be just as helpful as insight from those who are more similar.

[Vince1995]

Fine by me.