After the cake is baked....

[Cindi Jones]

Pretend that you've gone through all this hell and you have finally had your surgery.  You live completely in the role you've always wished for.  You have a job and are getting by financially.  You date once in a while or even have a rewarding relationship.  Your circle of friends have grown and most of them are people who have never had to deal with transgender issues.  You may or may not live in stealth.

What are you going to call yourself?  A woman, man, transsexual... what?  And why?

Cindi

[Brianna]

I chided you once in #chat for this issue Cindi - saying that you were not a transsexual anymore. I have come to think that I was wrong in saying "once a transsexual always a transsexual."

I think that some of us do indeed move on and become full fledged women. But I also think that many transsexuals will never be in that category. I think for a myriad of reasons, passing, voice, and personality most of all, it's a goal that will be permanently elusive.

I would certianly count both you and tink in the "completely women" category, and if you were to eshew this identification I would have no quarel - but I also think it's true that this is a particular past that you cannot totally escape.

Bti

[Buffy]

HAPPY....

To achieve a dream has been wonderful.

I will never deny my past, just forget it.

Buffy

[Cindi Jones]

You know... it's odd.  But I go under a completely gender neutral moniker in most of my internet experiences.  When people ask me about myself, I tell them I'm an astronomer, a botanist, a writer, a bad poet, a scientist, an engineer, a photographer, or a musician.  I rarely think to tell them my gender.  It usually comes up way down the road.  It's really not that important in the beginning to me.

Honestly, I think of all things related to sex and gender as the very last priority any more.  When I do get to that point, I think of myself as "Cindi, female".  I totally feel comfortable with that.

Now, you may ask ... why in the ... .did you do all this in the first place?  And my answer is so that I could feel just like this.   But you know kitties, I am certified wierd.  I don't think like other people.  That's why I posed the question.  Besides, I'm bored out of my wits tonight and genuinely sad that the holidays are ending.  What better to do?

Cindi

[Kimberly]

...
What are you going to call yourself?
...

Miss. Until such time as I can go by Mrs. But frankly I expect to be dead first.

But that does not answer the spirit of the question now does it?  After the fact what will I be? Human (if nothing else than by situation), female (Seems I can't help that, rather interesting really.), formally one who possessed a 'normal' male body but does no longer (Is there a word for such? Actually it seems there is:)

transsexual

trans·sex·u·al [trans sékshoo ?l]
(plural trans·sex·u·als)
noun
1.  somebody whose sex is surgically changed: somebody who has undergone surgical and hormonal treatment to change his or her anatomical sex
2.  somebody who identifies with opposite sex: somebody who identifies himself or herself as and wants to become a member of the opposite sex



-trans·sex·u·al, adjective
-trans·sex·u·al·ism, noun
Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

So by the look of it 'transsexual' is the proper term. Or more specifically label. But that all said, "I was born with a male body." and let them figure it out.

I presume my actions and demeanor will say "woman", but whatever.


All in all I prefer to let them label me, so in essence, "Miss."

[Steph]

Pretend that you've gone through all this hell and you have finally had your surgery.  You live completely in the role you've always wished for.  You have a job and are getting by financially.  You date once in a while or even have a rewarding relationship.  Your circle of friends have grown and most of them are people who have never had to deal with transgender issues.  You may or may not live in stealth.

What are you going to call yourself?  A woman, man, transsexual... what?  And why?

Cindi

I will always and forever call myself a woman, but at the same time I will never deny my passed though.  A woman is what I am and have always been, and I see the transsexual part as this girls puberty,nothing more, nothing less.

Steph

[Sheila]

Steph,
   I like the way you put it. Cindi, you are a woman, plain and simple. You are not wierd, you are a very intelligent person who happens to be female. You past is that, it is your past and you can not deny it nor should you be ashamed of it. You should be proud of your life, you are a very wonderful person and I for one am very lucky to know a part of you. Only the part that comes out in public though. You are not trans. anymore than I am and I don't consider myself trans.
Sheila

[Hazumu]

I grew up with a mom who was a feminist -- There are differences related to sex, yes; but those differences should NEVER be a barrier to an individual pursuing the interests and experiences they want to pursue.

Words more of society should live by...

Karen

[Stormy Weather]

Don't have to pretend anything. Woman... what else? One person who occasionally posts here has met me a few times and would vouch for that.

From day to day, I don't think I'm TS. There's nothing in people's reactions from colleagues to suppliers to freelancers that reminds me of this; unknowing friends as well as shopkeepers, cab drivers, waiters etc. The handful of people I've come out to in person in the last couple of years (all women) all have the same reaction.

It's only when talking to my doctor, surgeon, endo etc. that this comes to the forefront. And most importantly, posting here makes me acutely aware of myself.

Not being vain or egocentric; it's just the way it is. I'm not that good-looking, but I was lucky enough to have a number of attributes that have made things relatively easy for me. However, having seen some pictures of some of you and also a video, I'm incredibly impressed, slightly jealous and feel somewhat overshadowed by other's beauty and charm.

[Mamalee]

Hi Gang,
I'm new here but I agree with Steph 100% as well as tink.

"I will always and forever call myself a woman, but at the same time I will never deny my passed though.  A woman is what I am and have always been, and I see the transsexual part as this girls puberty,nothing more, nothing less."

The transexual 'transition' is simply how I made the outside match how the inside felt and believed.

I've always been a woman.

[Sandy]

I consider myself to be a woman with a transsexual condition.  So when someone asks, or if it appropriate, I will answer as a woman.  Just like, for example, a female with a diabetic condition, still calls herself a woman.

I spent a lot of time saying I am female who happens to be named Sandy.

I'm now more comfortable with saying I'm Sandy who happens to be a woman.  I am becoming me.  The me that I should have been all along.

I'm happy with that.

-Sandy

[tinkerbell]

After the cake is baked..... always a woman pre-during-after-and-beyond...

So now what? I wonder.  Is this it?  or is there more to come?  more good things, I mean..

tinkerbell

[Cindi Jones]

Now, my dear, you can have your cake and eat it too!



Cindi

[Steph]

After the cake is baked..... always a woman pre-during-after-and-beyond...

So now what? I wonder.  Is this it?  or is there more to come?  more good things, I mean..

tinkerbell

Of course there is, now you have to discover and live your life the way it was always meant to be. 

Steph

[Sheila]

After the cake is baked..... always a woman pre-during-after-and-beyond...

So now what? I wonder.  Is this it?  or is there more to come?  more good things, I mean..

tinkerbell

Of course there is, now you have to discover and live your life the way it was always meant to be. 

Steph

I think I know someone else who said that not to long ago.
Sheila

[Melissa]

Now, my dear, you can have your cake and eat it too!

How can you eat your own cake???  It seems like it would be easier to get a guy to do it for you.  >  Now that's a half-baked idea.

Melissa

[Steph]

After the cake is baked..... always a woman pre-during-after-and-beyond...

So now what? I wonder.  Is this it?  or is there more to come?  more good things, I mean..

tinkerbell

Of course there is, now you have to discover and live your life the way it was always meant to be. 

Steph

I think I know someone else who said that not to long ago.
Sheila

I wonder who

Steph

[Sandy]

So now what? I wonder.  Is this it?  or is there more to come?  more good things, I mean..
tinkerbell

It's all good!

-Sandy

[Jonie]

The goal for a mtf is to live as a woman and calling yourself a woman I think would be a natural part of meeting this goal.

[Rashelle]

I am a woman plain and simple. I will not deny my past though, as ones past is what makes them themselves. If people can not accept that then I have no need to accept them. If a label is necessitated, such as by a Dr. then I labe myself mtf, post-op, ts. I am ME!
Rashelle