Did my makeup!

[Melody Maia]

I just wanted to post how happy I am that I finally started experimenting with cosmetics. Over Christmas, the wife and I went to a cosmetics store and I bought my own foundation (Bare Minerals is pretty great!), eye shadow, lipstick and the rest. Problem was my son was home all day during the holiday break, so yesterday was my first chance to start playing with the makeup. I sat down at my wife's makeup mirror and gave it a go on my own. Probably took me twenty minutes before I figured out that I hate pencil eye-liner and that it was nearly impossible to line my upper eyes with it. However, I think I did a pretty good job of it and my wife agreed when she came home from her lunch date. Along the way, I discovered that I kind of liked it! I especially like the slight sparkly nature to my subtle eye-shadow.

Tomorrow I hope to play some more and pair it with my female clothes to get a more complete look. In the next week or so I am going to a salon (where I have been before and they know about my transition) and just tell them to give me the full-on girl style hair (with the length I have so far) and eyebrows. Ears pierced too. I'm leaving for another state in a week and a half and I just want to be free to be me at last.

Sorry, I didn't take any pictures of my attempt so far, but once I get my look together I intend to finally put up my avatar very soon. This is a REALLY big deal for me as I am not nearly as brave as the rest of you ladies. I feel I need to jump start my transition and get it out of neutral. If I can't face you group of very accepting people as I am it will be hard to face the big bad world.

[CaitJ]

Congrats! Just remember not to rub your eyes, otherwise you'll look like a sparkly panda 

[Melody Maia]

Good tip! First time I rubbed my eyes after growing my nails longer, I scratched up the bridge of my nose pretty badly. Clearly it is a habit I need to break.

[erocse]

 GREAT  going Melody !!! I am glad you are having fun. And with your wife by your side YAY TEAM !!

  I have to agree with you on the eye liner pencil, I don't like them either. Wielding the liquid eyeliner is quite a task too. Now I get to say to my wife "don't talk while I'm applying eyeliner" Don't you just love it when your eye decides on its own to blink just at the wrong time!! 

   Hugs, Roxy

[Melody Maia]

Yes, I love my wife. She is my own Patricia (although she goes by Trish). It makes me so unbelievably sad that she has been so supportive, but we will be divorced anyway in a couple of weeks. Papers filed, assets divided and 15 years are over. You are so lucky Roxy, but I know you know that.

Anyway, I don't want to bring this down. I am trying to find my joy and this is a part. It was fun and I am going to give the liquid eyeliner a try. Another thing I found frustrating was screwing up the mascara and wiping off the eyeliner too as I wiped off the mascara. I can't draw at all and have terrible handwriting, so the precision work of eyeliner was definitely a challenge!

[Colleen Ireland]

Probably took me twenty minutes before I figured out that I hate pencil eye-liner and that it was nearly impossible to line my upper eyes with it.

+1 on that!  I went to a mall the week before Christmas and got a makeover and spent about $300 on makeup (Clinique) - that was also the day I got my glasses (another ~$300).  And the next day, I discovered the lady had FORGOTTEN to include the eyeliner, so I had to go out the next morning and buy one!  She hadn't charged me for it, tho.  $20, just by itself.  And it's HARD to get it right!  And I'm "not allowed" to dress at home (yet), so I don't get a chance to play with it much, except when it MATTERS (Grrr...).  Anyway, congrats on yet another milestone, sister!

[Jaymee]

Hi,

Omg a lil tip for eye liner wether it be pencil or liquid is to hold the corner of your eye with one finger and pullit taunt, so that the upper eyelid is almost straight looking then apply the eye liner starting in the corner ( closest to your nose ) and smoothly run it towards your finger your holding your eye with. omg i wish i could post a Vid i would show you how eaasy it is.

                                                                      Jaymee.

[Eva Marie]

Ah yes, the eyeliner pencil.

My advice is to keep working with it and eventually it becomes easier as you grow used to using it. I had a hard time at first because i wasn't used to ANYTHING touching my lash line, and i would tear up. Now? no big deal.

[Rock_chick]

you think eyeliner pencil is hard wait till you try liquid topliner.

[inna]

can't wait for your avatar pick

[Melody Maia]

can't wait for your avatar pick

Me too! But I don't want to oversell it. I am still a 39 year-old male bodied person who has been on HRT exactly 3 months today. Sigh, so far to go yet.

[Double_Rainbow]

I quickly switched to liquid liner when I found the pencil just wasn't cutting it.  The pencil liners also seem less intense do they not?  Cosmetics may not be the most important part of your transition, but they sure do make you feel good! 

Also, can't wait to see those pics!

[Dana Lane]

Congrats! Just remember not to rub your eyes, otherwise you'll look like a sparkly panda 

I don't like wearing makeup but for now it is necessary. I have been pretty good about not rubbing my eyes but I always feel somewhat fatigued and miss splashing cold water on my face. Oh well, life goes on.

[Melody Maia]

can't wait for your avatar pick

Ok, did my makeup today and paired it with clothes for the first time. Had the wife take some pics and I was pretty happy with the results, so I have decided to come out of the shadows. I now have an avatar pic of me! The eyebrows have been trimmed, but they will be full girl-style next week. And for the sake of reference, below is where I started from back in August.

[Colleen Ireland]

OMG, Melody, U R a cutie!  VERY pretty!

[Melody Maia]

OMG, Melody, U R a cutie!  VERY pretty!

Thank you so much Colleen! As you know, it has taken me quite awhile to get here. Confidence has always been a major problem for me. I need to work on that to get my bravery up to face the outside world as me.

[V M]

You look lovely Melody 

[Randi]

Hi Melody, I am so glad to see you are making the best of the situation and I hope you are happy-life is so much better when we are happy. Bye for now,

Randi

[Melody Maia]

I must confess, my transition has been largely joyless because of the stress of divorce etc. Today though, I feel like I am on cloud 9! I haven't been this happy in a very long time and I now understand that feeling of wanting more Colleen and others talk about once they present as themselves.

[Randi]

Something wierd just happened to my reply-it just disappeared!!
I know how you have suffered lately-we got close to divorce a few months back as well. The only reason we havent gone thru with it is I have put my transition on hold for now. I still take estrogen when I am dysphoric but only then, practice my makeup and nails, dress in my favorite clothes, pluck unwanted hair and things like this when I am by myself-but you could say I am back in the closet. I sometimes question how I identify (mtf) but in my heart I know I am female and that will not change. But I am making it work for the most part and am no worse off if I have to wait another year or so before I go out in public again as female. Oh how I long for the day but for now I am relatively happy and resolve to remain so. I am glad to hear your wife is helping you learn a few things. I could never hope for that here-but I am glad you are happy to be free. Coleen is a dear isn't she! I have enjoyed reading her posts.

Bye for now,
Randi