Hello. My situation is probably a tad different from most members here. I'm not a transgender, rather, my boyfriend is. He just recently disclosed this information to me, and now I need some advice. Having dated my boyfriend Andrew for two years, it's not to say I didn't notice some rather feminine things about him. He prefers to keep his hair long, he speaks with a higher pitched voice than what is normal of him (I don't think he knows that I've noticed that, lol) He has fantastic taste in dresses and other girls clothing (I'd let him pick my outfits any day, and that's saying something for picky me) and he's never taken any particular liking to his male gender. We talked about it for a while. He doesn't love being male, but he doesn't plan on cross dressing or going through hormone therapy or getting an operation, so far as he knows now (though he openly admitted he particularly liked the name Anne.) His biggest concern was that I not leave him. He had heard horror stories of couples having awful breakups over one or the other being transgender. I assured him I still loved him and wouldn't leave him.
My issue here is that now, I don't quite know how to support him. I don't know what it is that's going through his mind. I don't know if he's in any emotional pain or if he needs help working through anything... he's been very vague about how he feels. On top of that, I, a girl proclaimed to be straighter than a stripper pole, must look at my own mental health and sexual orientation. If he is a girl inside, and I fell in love with who he was/is on the inside, am I actually a lesbian and never knew it? Or does my personal preference for male-bodied companions over-rule who they are on the inside?
Learning of Andrew's predicament, I also began to look at myself in a way that now I question if I am not that way myself. I certainly don't claim to be transgender by association, but I am definitely not the most dainty flower in the field. I have always preferred "Sam" over my given name "Samantha" and for the first few years of my life, and especially right before puberty, I despised all notions of being a girl. I hated dolls and chose to strip them of their clothes and dress my animal figurines instead. I've always liked to keep my hair short (except for when I was very VERY young and kept it long, all the way to my butt - It hasn't been longer than shoulder-length since, and I much prefer it above my ears.) Along with that, I spent much of my pre-pubescent tween years wearing boy-shorts, not shaving my prickly legs, and all together hating the female race. Since my ascent to high school, I have learned to accept my gender and that no matter how hard I hope, God will not kill me and let me be reborn male. I have also since embraced my femininity a little more. I paint my nails on occasion and I do rather love dresses. I shave religiously now, and while I still go by Sam and keep my hair boy-cut short and have an unnaturally deep voice for a girl, I still dislike most girls and prefer the company of boys. (Not so much because I'm attracted to them, but more because deep inside, I still want to be a part of their world.)
So this is the story of my boyfriend and me. I really need to know how to support him, and what to do about my own feelings... I apologize for the incredibly long post. Thank you so much if you read the whole way through. <3
