What is it about passing?

[drippin]

So i'm part-time right now. I recently went on a shopping venture to the mall with my girlfriend (girl------friend).. en femme. The lady at the fragrance counter said "hello ladies, looking for something in particular today?" In a really sweet voice. I was scared that once we started talking to her she would realize my... situation? But she didn't. She looked at me with a plain ol' expression, trying to make a sale. Face to face conversation, and passing with flying colors. It felt wierd. Really wierd. But good. Amazing. Actually, sort of euphoric. We then went through the mall and went to buy smoothies at a little smoothy place. I think it's called surfs up or something. And turns out, the girl working the register, WENT TO OUR HIGHSCHOOL!!! I immediately started to panic. My heart started racing and I got super nervous. Well she said Hi to my friend and just looked at me plainly and said hi. She didn't recognize me at ALL! It was so bizarre. It really made me relax and feel super comfortable. I then realized I was passing, completely. NO wierd stares, No awkward associates. No nothing. Just a girl walking through the mall with her girlfriend. It seriously was euphoric. Once I realized I was passing, It changed my mindset a little to be honest. I no longer needed to summon up confidence, or reassure myself that I was a girl. I was a girl. I just was. Simple and plain. And being treated accordingly just felt SO right.. Any way we proceeded to shop around and a group of young guys (around our age, but a little older walked by) They started staring us down (my friend, a gg, is a HOTTIE, just sayin) so I assumed they were checking her out, well then I heard one of the guy say, "yeah, tall girls are f***ing sexy" ........... My friend is 5'5" .. I'm 5'9"
He was talking about me!
Anyway, it was just such a great day, I had to share. Maybe to inspire those trying to decide whether or not to transition, that passing is possible, and when it happens, it feels so, so, SO, right. Also, I wanted to get some opinions. I know that many girls say that passing is not important to them. But to me, it is. Is that shallow of me? Or do ya'll feel the same? I just feel so comfortable when i'm passing. Everything feels right. I no longer have anxiety, I no longer feel awkward. I just am. I'm me.


Maybe this is a little bit of a rant, but I wanted to say this. And no one understands where i'm coming from so maybe ya'll will?

Anyway... What is it about passing?

[xAndrewx]

Congrats!  Sounds like it was a great day. I hope you have many more like that

[drippin]

Thanks Andrew, it really was

[Janet_Girl]

It is called Validation.  We all seek it, more so when we first start out.  After that it becomes a matter of daily life.  But we still seek out that validation.  Soak it up now and let it carry you through those bad days.

[CaitJ]

I know that many girls say that passing is not important to them. But to me, it is. Is that shallow of me?

It's important to be treated like a human being, with rights and feelings. Passing gives you this privilege.
Enjoy it; it's better than being treated like ->-bleeped-<-, amirite?

[girl_ashley]

Exude confidence in yourself and no one will get in your way.

[Mrs Erocse]

Exude confidence in yourself and no one will get in your way.

That is a good point!

We are glad you had a great day!!! Everyone wants acceptance and it does feel good. There is nothing at all wrong or vain about feeling that passing is important.

Wishing you many more great days!!!

Hugs!

Roxy & Patty

[CaitJ]

Exude confidence in yourself and no one will get in your way.

Or they will think you're an overconfident ->-bleeped-<- and avoid you.
Either way, same result.

[drippin]

It's important to be treated like a human being, with rights and feelings. Passing gives you this privilege.
Enjoy it; it's better than being treated like ->-bleeped-<-, amirite?

You're right. Definitely.

[drippin]

It is called Validation.  We all seek it, more so when we first start out.  After that it becomes a matter of daily life.  But we still seek out that validation.  Soak it up now and let it carry you through those bad days.

Well, it feels amazing. Especially when your family refuses to acknowledge you.

[Rock_chick]

While the term passing makes me think that someone is stood behind me, awarding me marks depending on how well i do, the validation and buzz of happiness i get from being seen and treated as female is very nice indeed.

[drippin]

Agree Helena. It's like NOTHING i've ever felt before.

[TraciMC]

drippin: Thanks for sharing your experience.  You know, the first time that happened to me, when I knew I was passing, was 16 1/2 years ago and I've been post-op for 11 years.  And that first occasion, much like yours, is still vivid in my mind after all these years. A nice memory like that stays with you.

[Debra]

congratz =) Don't you love that?

Even after a year of full time, I sometimes worry about passing and then I find out they really never had a clue and I laugh at myself.

[toxicblue]

That's so awesome.  It's stories like these that remind me that it's still possible.  Congrats!  =]

[sweetie87]

It is called Gender Euphoria I hope you have more days like that, sounds great!

From my early days as a girl I never forget the first time a boy was really flirting with me and trying to get my attention. We chatted and he gave very nice compliments and we had a nice evening. Later on he also wanted to kiss me...(i really felt these butterflies in my stomach) and there was my first kiss. When I came home and went to bed I couldn't get to sleep because I felt so great about this guy and about he seeing me completely as the girl I was and still am today.

[glendagladwitch]

It's nice to have the option of being able to control who knows and who doesn't.  But I know there are a lot of transitioners who pass very well and yet choose to be out, making sure that the word gets around.  But most I think have a don't tell, never deny, policy, and let nature take its course.

[Debra]

But most I think have a don't tell, never deny, policy, and let nature take its course.

Yeah thats what I do for the most part. I mean anybody can google my name and figure things out pretty quickly. but it doesn't mean I walk up to every stranger on the street and say "HAI! I'm TRANS!". The girls at the gym still don't know...it just hasn't come up.