Therapy, T, and surgery

[Nero]

Hello guys and dolls.
Well, the appointment went okay. She said if I keep seeing her and go to the support group, I can start hormones in 3 months. But apparently, my hair is too feminine. Well, there's not an awful lot I can do about that. It is a typical male haircut, but my hair is blond and curly and the only way to make it look masculine would be a crew cut and there are just some things I will not do. I have to be myself, I'm not transitioning just to be male.
One weird thing, she said I should be on T at least 6 months before top surgery, as it will help the surgeon to better see what he's working with.
I'm uncomfortable with this, what if she requires me to go on T (and a long time at that), or she won't write me a letter for surgery? But I've heard that lots of guys had surgery before going on T, and I've looked into surgeons who do NOT require that you be on T prior to surgery.
So, I'm a bit puzzled and I can find no passage in the SOC that states this as a requirement.
And since having top surgery is the only thing I'm sure about, and I still need time to decide about T, I'm kind of disappointed. If I start T, I want it to be because I'm ready for it, and not as a prerequisite for surgery. I brought this up to her, that surgery is more of a priority than T, and she just said something along the lines of "we'll see how it goes."
My next appointment is in a month, so I don't know. What happens if I end up having to see some other shrink to get a letter? Will they pick up where she left off, or will I have to start all over?
 

[Jillieann Rose]

Sounds a little strange to me Nero.
Hair to femine, need 6 months of T. I get a red flag on this.
Have you checked her creditals?
Jillieann & JR

[Kate]

But apparently, my hair is too feminine.

For who? I mean... was it phrased as a requirement/criticism or an observation?

One weird thing, she said I should be on T at least 6 months before top surgery, as it will help the surgeon to better see what he's working with.

News to me, though I'm no expert. Going the other way, before getting breast augmentation it's usually wise to see what HRT does first. But T certainly isn't going to make anything disappear. Odd. It almost sounds like a way to test your commitment first or something.

What happens if I end up having to see some other shrink to get a letter? Will they pick up where she left off, or will I have to start all over?

Probably depends on the psych. I contacted a few back when I was thinking of dumping my current therapist, and they all said my prior therapy time "counted" towards the requirements for an HRT letter - though they of course would have to first make up their own mind about my diagnosis first.

Kate

[Nero]

Have you checked her creditals?
Jillieann & JR

Yeah, she's been doing gender therapy since the 70s and she's considered the best in the city. She's expensive, but I wanted the best, most qualified therapist I could get. But now I'm wondering, I don't know if the 6 month thing was just her recommendation or if it's actually a requirement before she'll write a surgeon's letter.

But apparently, my hair is too feminine.

For who? I mean... was it phrased as a requirement/criticism or an observation?

Well, she said that everything about me was appropriate to my gender id - clothes, mannerisms, presentation, all save one thing - my hair.
Thing is, if a man had hair like mine, nobody'd question it, it's just the way his hair is, but since I'm completely non-passable, guess it just looks ultra femme.

[Nero]

My next appointment is in a month

Honestly I thought this was weird considering that you are a new patient and all.  Usually when you start therapy, they want to see you every week, or at least twice a month, but who knows, probably things are changing after all.

tinkerbell

Yeah, she said it's normal to see her every other month. But she requires candidates for medical transition to attend her support group, so maybe that balances it out or something.

[tinkerbell]

My next appointment is in a month

Honestly I thought this was weird considering that you are a new patient and all.  Usually when you start therapy, they want to see you every week, or at least twice a month, but who knows, probably things are changing after all.

tinkerbell

Yeah, she said it's normal to see her every other month. But she requires candidates for medical transition to attend her support group, so maybe that balances it out or something.

Great!  therapy and support in one therapist...wonderful!   okay that explains it, then...so no, I no longer think it is weird 

tinkerbell

[Jillieann Rose]

Okay Tink that make it sound okay about having T prior to surgery.
And Nero if she is one of the best then you better stick with her.
It was the hair too femine that got me really wondering at first.
I know men with long blond and curly hair and it doesn't make them look femine.
Don't worry about that comment, must be her preference.

Jillieann and JR

 

[Nero]

Don't worry about that comment, must be her preference.

Jillieann and JR

 

Thanks.