i hope this is the right section... confused ^^; (overused word, i know)

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

alright, most of me is sure i am transexual, one indicator for me is, when i use my old name, i think about why i am giving them a name i dont want used, where as when i give them the name i have now, i think, wow, this is so exciting! so i was wondering, what sort of things made you POSITIVE you were transexual, instead of just pretty sure like me. i ask because, well because i want to know of course, but secondarily, my prom is comming up, and i want to wear a dress i fell in love with, but if i do this, it isnt exactly somthing i can turn around and say, "well, that was fun, but i dont think i want to do this anymore" so i want to be sure before i do it. i was wondering if anyone could help me, PLEASE!

[Brianna]

I can only speak for myself, but I've ALWAYS known I was transsexual. I mean, it has been the one constant in my life - I have always been more sure of this than gravity. I know there are some that it takes time to figure out, but this was not me.

I would recomend getting into therapy and working on these feelings as soon as is humanly possible.

Bri-lala

[KarenLyn]

I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't any kind of formula or test to determine if you're ts or not. Some people swear by the COGIATI but it relys on very stereotypical models. You should see a therapist to help work through your issues but in the end it will come down to whether you want to live your life as a man or a woman. And if you can already answer the last part, you're already sure.

Karen Lyn     

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

well, i think i do, i really do, but i am afraid that its just because it feels right, i am making myself believe it. like maybe its not me being wired as a woman, but wanting to be so, and there fore convincing myself to go with it. i am just afraid i will regret it, and i dont want to go through with somthing like this and regret it 8( i have always seen my future clearer when thinking of it as me being female, but maybe that isnt a sure sign. i took that test too, but it was more of somthing for me to base a course of action off of, instead of basing my life off it, online tests arnt the most reliable things. thanks for your input thus far though <hugs>

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

well, i want to say yes, i have always invisioned being more a mother then a father, and would love to go through the changes, except maybe the hair removal, that sounds pretty painful ^^; but i just want to be 100% instead of the 95% i am now. i cant even imagine saying i am not transexual, but saying i am just doesnt feel quite right yet, not wrong, just like, like i havnt earned it or somthing.

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

i know, but i figure if i shave alot maybe it will help ^^; i know it wont, but i keep trying to tell myself that lol. do you ever get to stop elec, or is it a life time thing?

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

thanks, i am sure it is obvious, i havn't learned as much as i would like to on the subject

[Fyrstar]

Dusty, it was simple for me to realize I was TS after I:

a) Crossdressed off/on since 13
b) Hated women intensely (come to find out that was because I wasn't born one), yet couldnt stay away from them
c) Started to lose control of my temper on an increasing basis, becoming harder and harder to control

I tried all sorts of prescriptions, up to and including Lithium.  My anger was getting worse.

I spoke to my wife and doctor about growing breasts, joking about it at first.  Years later, I managed to get prescribed some hormones for TS, and started taking them.  I feel at peace for once in my life.  I have alot of drama, but I am at peace INSIDE myself. 

The way I put it is this:  You have two magnets.  Held the wrong way, they repulse each other.  Held the right way, they attract, and you recognize that pull. 

I will caution you about one thing.....

You said you found it exciting..... the excitement WILL wear off, as will the novelty, only leaving you in reality.  Will it be a reality that you forever want to live in?  I say yes, I have no more choice in transitioning that you do breathing.

[Brittany]

For me, I've known since I was three or four years old. I can't remember not knowing, and I've always been 100% sure. Yeah, sometimes, when I'm really caught up in the act of pretending to be male, I'll wonder why I think I'm a woman. Of course, the obvious answer is because I know I am one. Judging by this, I'd say that +99% of the time, I'm 100% sure that I'm a transsexual. The rest of the time is when I'm too busy lying to second-guess myself.

Really, I think that each person knows for themselves. I know it's already been said in this thread, but the best way to find out is to go visit a therapist.

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

i now really believe i am, i really think the reason i second guess myself is, this is my first big decision that i cant easily turn around from, but my friend pressed me into telling some people i was, and it felt amazing! i know the excitment will ware off, it slowly is already, but i dont mind, its just somthing i feel i really have to do. i am sorry i couldnt know as quickly as others, that is one thing that has made me doubt myself, but i think better late then never fits almost perfectly here. i am glad your so accepting of a "late bloomer" so to speak ^^; i hope i have not caused to much trouble by asking so many questions, and say sorry in advance for the doubtless questions i am bound to ask. i am glad i have found such a lovly place to explore myself. <hugs all> i will be posting some pictures later of me in make up, thanks to a close friend of mine, it was quite possibly one of the best nights of my life. and for those who care, i told my mom, and her responce was to buy me heels for my birthday, awsome ones i might add.

[Kate]

DustyRose, keep in mind that you don't have to do everything at once. You don't have to commit to being a transsexual and transitioning right away.

The Standards of Care are designed to allow you to figure this all out as safely as possible, and in STEPS, not as an all-or-nothing commitment thing. Getting into therapy doesn't mean you're going to transition, it just means you've begun the process of figuring out what you you DO want with the help of an experienced professional who can help you along, who's "got your back" so to speak. You can "turn back" at almost any point short of surgeries, though the consequences become more and more difficult to undo as HRT progresses.

But even HRT is at LEAST three months off (the minimum time according to the SOC before HRT can be recommended), so you have time to figure this all out. Some of the girls in my support group went through YEARS of therapy before feeling comfortable with themselves enough to start HRT.

My advice is to not make too many assumptions just yet... keep an open mind. Find a qualified therapist in your area and start exploring your feelings and your options for accomodating them. "Trust the process" as my therapist likes to say, and see where it leads you

Kate

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

well i do intend to let the procedure take its course, and i know if i REALLY feel like i have to stop, i can, but for now this was my decision, i am aiming for a therapist at Sherbourne health here in toronto, my trans friends tell me that they are pretty good. i am a little confused still, and know nothing is 100%, but i just try to tell myself, think of living both ways, which do you learn towards? and as time goes on i find myself going to one side much more then the other, i am still aware of the chance to change back, just kinda hard when so many people know that i want to go through with this, just to turn around and say, nah, changed my mind, but my well being goes before there comfort so ^^; thank you all for such kind words and helping me.

[Terra]

Things that made me positive I was TS?

Well, I knew I wasn't a guy. It just felt wrong to consider myself one, especially since I always had to ask myself what a guy was supposed to do. Turns out I made a pretty miserable guy anyways.

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

lol actually, thats one of the first things someone has said i can directly relate to! thanks! i have questioned what it ment to be a "real guy" for so long now, the only real thing i linked with them was rugby, and only as a way to vent my anger, though at the time i didnt quite know what i was angry about ^^; now i find i ask myself what a "real girl" is like only a few times, and just to try and help me fit in, but when i am all done up, i am just me, and it feels great. thanks alot for all your help guys! <tear>

P.S. awsome pic Elissa, i love that red lipstick on you! and you pull of glasses so much better then me, they add like 15 years to me ^^;

[Terra]

Thanks ^^

Don't worry if you can't figure it out all in one day, I sure can't and anyone who can i'd be worried about. I kinda descive it as having an outline that i'm slowly sketching in the details on. I have no desire to change one stereotype for another, so for the most part even in girl-mode I still dress in overshirts and jeans, and I still get compliments. 

Take your time, take it easy, and don't start anything to exspensive unless you are sure. Laser? I'd have done it even if there was a doubt in my mind as to me being a woman, if nothing else because I hate shaving! Being trans puts you in the unique position to kinda merge the two halves of the fence in my opinion. So experiment, you might even have a few gentic girls or guys trying out your style too! ^^

[Dustin/Dustyrose]

thanks do you have yahoo or msn or somthing? i would love to be able to talk to you more. i know i can't decide it all to fast, and its been about 7 months, which i know isnt very long, but i pose myself a question all the time to see my answer. i ask, how do you feel introducing yourself as a girl. and how cdo you feel describing yourself as a guy. as a girl i feel happy, closer to normal. as a guy, i feel like its wrong when i tell people that i am one, like i'm lieing, but it stays like that. i figured it would pass, but to my great pleasure it hasnt, i feel like i am really finding myself. thanks so much for all your help, i know i keep saying it, but between you guys and my friends, i can really be me, and both are helping me so much along the way

[passiflora]

Hi, I know exactly how you are feeling, I was 18-19 when I started transition also, and it was very confusing. I had been reading about transsexualism since I was like 16, and thought I knew for sure thats what I was, and I was for sure going to transition, which I did. But at first, I was afraid that maybe I was'nt really a transsexual, that I just fancied the idea of being a girl, just based on the fact, of being around my sisters, and other girls, and the general image of girls, and the whole objectification thing, and there were times that I was afraid that this was really a sexual thing, and that basicly all i did was forced my mind to fit the profile of TS'ism that I had been reading about.

But after a left home, and transtion was rough, I got into theraphy and started ironing out all of these doubts and I eventually knew for sure that I was doing the right thing and that I was 100% sure. But you are right to question yourself, and its best to transtion and start making physical changes on a 100% certanity instaead of a 95% certanity. Thats why the theraphy is good.

I was the same way, at first it took me the longest time to refer to myself as a transsexual, and it took even longer for me to feel comfortable refering to myself as a girl. I thought I would never pass, and thought that it would be obvious that I was just trying to "fool" everyone, and during the early stages when everything was still sort of confusing, I was always afraid that maybe I was'nt doing the right thing. But theraphy really helps with all this.

As you actually begin to transition, and and your actual true self starts to emerge,  a lot of these doubts will start to disappear and you will start to feel comfortable with yourself and what you are doing. Eventually you wont even need the labels anymore, you will just be you. I'm 27 now, and have been transitioned for quite sometime now, so the feelings you are having are complelty normal, and there nothing wrong with questiong your own motives and motivations.

-pass-

         

[Terra]

Here is my yahoo IM name.

grey_medic@yahoo.com

If you or anyone else wants to talk, drop on in! ^^