confused mtf

[iamchristina]

Hi, I am 35 and I live as a man right now. All of my life I have felt like a woman. I have dressed whenever possible to satisfy myself. Over the past 2 years I have went out in public fully dressed as a woman, and i have seen a doctor about it. I am an attractive guy,and obviously living in denial. Seems like the very next day after I dress up, I feel like it was bad and choose to suppress it. But I will say if my life turned good, and I had a good girlfriend, i think i would be okay living as a man and it would be easier for me too. Transitioning involves losing all my family and my 2 kids almost for sure in my case. I just wonder why I should bother transitioning into a woman. Here is a new dilema, I think you might find interesting. I am thinking that alot of men question their gender at some point. However, if their life is real good, these questions just go away like the wind. But, when I see many transgendered who appear like they couldn't obtain many dates in their "born with gender", it leaves them alone and lonely, which further questions their identity. And with a materialistic society, even a guy very good looking like myself, can't get a date with a woman because I am poor. Every attractive mature woman, may pretend, they are after love and "the person", however they are after more. Being Success and money. So after being isolated and alone, almost like a guy in prison, but free in society living poor. This makes one question him , herself. In the end they continue down the road of a new life living as the opposite sex. One might dissagree, and say"the feelings are just so strong. this is me, I am transgendered".  But what I propose is, what is you can stay in your "born with mode" and focus on learning how to impress and obtain those dates, and success. Will the transgender feeling slide away ? Many who are free in society, are they really free ? Or are they just a person in a cell, in prison with no options. In turn we manipulate our mind to change the only way we can, gender. Becasue making money and impressing the opposite sex is too hard.  I am not by any means proposing to encourage tg from going with their feelings. I am more trying myself to understand this world we live in, to make decision for myself. Very interesting question ?

I would like to say after reviewing these answers , that I didnt say I feel like liviing as a woman will be easier for me, I was probing others for infromation as to how they felt. I myself, feel like everytime I am with a woman, i just want tobe her. I do want this, i just am trying to figure out why we have these changes ? I appreciate all your replies very much, negative or positive. I guess I am trying to come up with excuses of why my problem wont go any. like not being wealthy and lots of dates. My ex gf was very very hot, I only wanted to be like her lol, not with her. i just drove her away is the truth/
thanks again everyone

[Amazon D]

hugs

[Jillieann Rose]

Christina,
Why are we this way? I t seem to be hard wired into us.
And yes I do understand you wanting to be the woman and not just with woman.
Evey time I have had intimate with my spouse I wanted to be her instead of just being with her.
I often would fantasize that I was taking over her body and she would take over mine.
Hang in there Chistina.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Suzy]

Evey time I have had intimate with my spouse I wanted to be her instead of just being with her.
I often would fantasize that I was taking over her body and she would take over mine.

Yep, I have always been there as well.  It seems to be one of the things so many of u share.  Intimacy gets to be a slippery slope.  And yet, it is a way to visualize exhanging worlds with out partner.

Hang in there, Christina.   Your way will eventually become clear.

Kristi