I can't believe this is already the 4th week since I started my full time at work and things went well so far, special at work. All my colleagues treat me well, specially they act like nothing happen and it seems they have known the new me long before my full time, even my work partners in Asian. I don't think I am the only transgender in this big company but I most likely the first one coming out, and I can see the company try hard to make it smoothy, they even update the harassment policy to add "gender identify" into the policy and published before my fulltime which really touch me. And I got my new passport and TX DL with "F" last week! with those ID, I feel much safer when I go out and pay less attention if I am passable or not:)
Now I just feel so lucky and have a big relief because I really didn't expect this, and I were so scared and prepared for the worst, now it seems I were worry too much.
I post this not only want to share this good news with all your friends who had provided strong support and help to me and express my sincere appreciation, but also share some my experiences which hope help others as one of the reference. I am not trying to say mine is good way but just share my experience for your reference. Something I learn so far:
1. sometimes, I just wonder if we may put too much focus on "trangender" issue for the acceptence in the job transition or coming out, but pay less attention on other personality acceptence which maybe the more important part for us getting accepted. As some of my friends and colleague told me after I came out to them (most of them are shocked), told me that althogh it's a little tough for them to take it but they will and like to continue to be friend or work with me, because they like me not because I am man or woman, but because they like my personality beneath the physical body which they don't think I will change, and that is really me which they are and will interact with. I got strong support from all level of management team because they know I am good contributor and think I can contribute more because I will be better person(honestly, they care more how much money I can make for them than I am woman or man). So I think sometimes in order to have smooth transition with better acceptence from the people around you, we not only need to put some effort on gender issue(better eduating people, better to be passable), but also spend more effort to improve our non-gender core personality to become better & nicer person to the people around us and the companies we work for. When we get good impression from people or company, the gender issue become less important to them. Of course, there will still some people see this transgender issue as a huge problem for them to accept, then we have to let them to deal with it and move forward with our own way.
2. take it slowly and gradually on the start. Just hope for the best but prepare the worst. (keep evaluate the situation before moving to next steps)
1) I started with HR first as every one did.
2)After getting HR support, I let HR to discuss with the top managment team on this issue without specific mentioned my name to make sure the whole
company is ok with transgender issue. Then,
3I didn't immediately come out to my colleagues in my department, but I discussed with HR and started to come out some of people in different departments
but have good personal and work relationship. One by one, and tested the water.
4)After I got good positive feedbacks and evaluate the potential reaction from my immediate team basing on my experience with them, my HR talked to my
directly supervisor without my presence to make sure my supervisor receive this news in a open and comfortable enviornment, and HR indicate company's
full support for my transition.
5) After getting positive feedback from my supervisor from that meeting, I had a good lunch with my boss to talk directly and openly.
6) Conducted a team meeting to announce the news. In the meeting I hand out my pics of new me who they will expect to see.
7) Took 2.5 week business trip and 2 week vacation after that, and come back as new me. I send out email to colleagues the week before my fulltime to
give them a head up.
3. I tried to live as woman full time outside the work before really start transition at work for 3 month, in order to live as woman in this real world as nature
as possible,. So when I start to work as new me, my natureness really help people quickly accept I am a woman. Some of my colleagues comments to me
that " you are so nature as woman.", I think if I can't work naturely as woman, how I expect my colleagues to see and treat me as woman.
transition is really not about gender but about becoming a better person (not only to ourself but to others),I really understand this after going through this transition at work. hope my experience help.
