Best book I've seen yet for friends/family...

[Colleen Ireland]

"Transgender Explained For Those who are Not" by Joanne Herman.  I'm ordering a copy for my parents right now.  I looked through it this evening, read a few of the sections (it's a very quick read).  Clear language, to the point, excellent resource!

[mumof4]

thanks for this, i will look it up and buy myself a copy xx

[Renate]

Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not (2009) - Joanne Herman * Amazon * WorldCat

I went to a reading/signing thing with Joanne Hermann at Fenway Health in Boston.
Among the people there was Dr. Norman Spack, famed child trans therapist.

[Melody Maia]

What I really need is a book like this written in spanish for my mom. Sometimes the language barrier makes things needlessly complicated.

[Renate]

There is free online Mamá, necesito ser una chíca.

This is a translation of Mom, I Need to Be a Girl.

[Melody Maia]

That isn't bad, but it is a first person account. I would like a book with more of an academic approach like True Selves.

[spacial]

Melody.

If you can sit and chat to your mom, you might want to show her some of the pictures here. http://www.karenserenity.com/OldSerenity/main.htm

These are transgender women who have and continue to lead very successful lives.

I know it's not quite what you are looking for. But I imagine that, if they are open to some discussion, than see people who succeed, after transision, can impress upon them that there is more to it than they might think.

[Melody Maia]

Thanks Spacial. She isn't hostile or anything, but she doesn't quite understand and it comes out in different ways. She says things like my shoulders are too wide or I have no butt, I won't like life as a female or that she doesn't see anything except her son in photos of me dressed as Melody. I find it a bit dispiriting.

[spacial]

The boy shape argument.

Perhaps, you can meet it head on.

OK, I understand that my shoulders are wide, but I really need to be me. If someone doesn't like what they see, that's their problem. No woman is perfect.

You see, it's like this mom. I love you and am so grateful for giveing me life. But I'm miserable inside. I've thought about this, so long, and so hard. I've given up everything because I need to go back to square one and start again. I don't expect things to be easy. But I have thought about this, so carefully and for so long.

[Melody Maia]

The boy shape argument.

Perhaps, you can meet it head on.

OK, I understand that my shoulders are wide, but I really need to be me. If someone doesn't like what they see, that's their problem. No woman is perfect.

You see, it's like this mom. I love you and am so grateful for giveing me life. But I'm miserable inside. I've thought about this, so long, and so hard. I've given up everything because I need to go back to square one and start again. I don't expect things to be easy. But I have thought about this, so carefully and for so long.

Thanks Spacial, but I've tried that and it has no effect. She uses motherly concern to express things to frighten me into reconsidering. She tells me how hard it is going to be, how hard this is for my son. Latest this morning is whether or not I am concerned that the hormones might give me cancer. Last night it was that she had a dream that my recently-passed-away father was furious at her support of what I am doing. And all of this is done without a hint of malice or antagonism. Just true worry in her eyes. In some ways it is worse.

[spacial]

Ah.

I was wondering if she was still on the personal failing, but see she has graduated to guilt.

Can to discuss with her, that your marriage has failed?

[Melody Maia]

Ah.

I was wondering if she was still on the personal failing, but see she has graduated to guilt.

Can to discuss with her, that your marriage has failed?

Sigh, I just need to work through this with her. I have created a vblog to keep everyone up to date on my progress.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,371.0.html

First posting will be up in the next 30 minutes or so.

[Radar]

Hmm, I may look into this for my Grandma. I think something clear, easy and to the point would be easier than True Selves for her.

[spacial]

Sigh, I just need to work through this with her. I have created a vblog to keep everyone up to date on my progress.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,371.0.html

First posting will be up in the next 30 minutes or so.

I apologise if my suggestions seened somewhat tedius. I was trying to check as many bases as I can think of.

However it goes and especially when it gets a bit difficult, you have us here, always supporting.

You know that. But it doesn't hurt to say it again.

[Melody Maia]

I apologise if my suggestions seened somewhat tedius. I was trying to check as many bases as I can think of.

However it goes and especially when it gets a bit difficult, you have us here, always supporting.

You know that. But it doesn't hurt to say it again.

I apologize for leaving my post open to misinterpretation. The sigh was meant for feeling resigned to working through the issues with my mom. It wasn't meant to signify I thought your posts were tedious.

[Lacey Lynne]

"Transgender Explained For Those who are Not" by Joanne Herman.  I'm ordering a copy for my parents right now.  I looked through it this evening, read a few of the sections (it's a very quick read).  Clear language, to the point, excellent resource!

Totally agree with you, Colleen!

My copy came from www.amazon.com a few days ago, and I finished it in one reading.  Awesome book!  Better than "True Selves" IMHO.  It's a total winner and is THE book I'd give to anybody about people like us. 

Great find!

   Lacey

[spacial]

Spacial sends a big hug to Melody.

[Colleen Ireland]

If it helps anyone, I came up with the following to help my dad (in particular) understand (because he was going on about how there are lots of people who live with GID and don't get surgery.  Note that I am still pre-HRT, so the whole discussion is a "little" premature, but...)

What I said to him in an email is that it's a bit like an early-stage cancer diagnosis.  The physician has the responsibility to discuss possible treatment options, and ensure the patient has all relevant information about risks and benefits.  It is then the patient's RIGHT to choose the treatment option HE feels best about, for his OWN reasons.

[niamh]

That isn't bad, but it is a first person account. I would like a book with more of an academic approach like True Selves.

There is always the translation method.

Personally my favourite was She's not There (was so bummed when Boylen visted my alma mater and I wasn't there to meet her!) and my second is She's not the Man I Married. As for documentaries I loved No Dumb Questions.

[GinaDouglas]

I have read so much stuff, but if I had one hour to get somebody to understand ->-bleeped-<-, I'd show them this episode of Law and Order: SVU.

http://transcendgender.com/2009/02/18/review-law-and-order-svu-transgender-teen/