Hung out with an old friend and couldn't correct her....

[xAndrewx]

So I hung out with an old friend/old crush tonight which was awesome! Haven't seen her in 6 months and she has entirely changed her life for the better. I'm totally proud of her but well....

I guess a more appropriate title would be I couldn't make myself correct her. She knows I'm trans, knows what it mean, calls me Alex (Andrew now), calls me handsome even, but keeps calling me she    When we went to school she tended to hang around a group of friends who refused to refer to me as male  I just don't get it and I didn't correct her which I should have. The weird part is although it annoyed me it didn't really make me really really angry like it would with anyone else but her.

Part of me just wants to let it go for now and see if it changes as my voice drops to avoid the awkwardness of the conversation I would have to have. We only hang out alone together never in public so she won't out me. So is it stupid to just leave it for a while unless it starts to really upset me?

[Alyssa M.]

I think it's always worth it to tell your friends how you feel. The longer you don't call her on it, the harder it is likely to become. I would want to get it out in the open, so that she know that it hurts when she uses the wrong pronouns, and that you value her as a friend nonetheless. But I know how hard it can be to find the right time to do that.

When I am dealing with friends, what I have found works is to mention it pretty much every time they do it, as soon as is socially convenient. With those few people who are really bad with pronouns, I don't belabor the issue; I mention it once or twice when they first screw up, and then drop it until the next time I see them.

[erocse]

I think you might want to mention it to her. Don't think the worst, she may not have done it on purpose. Patty still slips up now and then, it doesn't bother me, but I still like to tease her about it.

  Hugs, Roxy

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

So I hung out with an old friend/old crush tonight which was awesome! Haven't seen her in 6 months and she has entirely changed her life for the better. I'm totally proud of her but well....

I guess a more appropriate title would be I couldn't make myself correct her. She knows I'm trans, knows what it mean, calls me Alex (Andrew now), calls me handsome even, but keeps calling me she    When we went to school she tended to hang around a group of friends who refused to refer to me as male  I just don't get it and I didn't correct her which I should have. The weird part is although it annoyed me it didn't really make me really really angry like it would with anyone else but her.

Part of me just wants to let it go for now and see if it changes as my voice drops to avoid the awkwardness of the conversation I would have to have. We only hang out alone together never in public so she won't out me. So is it stupid to just leave it for a while unless it starts to really upset me?

you should tell her. i'm sure she won't get all defensive over it. she probably thinks that calling you she is the "safe" thing to do. my aunt took me to get a manicure with her. she knows my situation pretty well by now, but she said he while we were in there, and i thought that was a bad call, because when you're doing something feminine like getting a manicure, and you're in there looking like a girl, it's a very bad idea to out someone like that. i didn't say anything to her, and even though it was all the asian women who've never met me before, she thought she had to say he. i don't know why, but that's the way people seem to think.

[xAndrewx]

Thanks everyone Well I texted her tonight and ended up spending another hour just talking to her. We got talking about my uncle then about how he never gets it right and she said she tries. So when I walked her home she caught up with friends for a minute and said she until I cleared my throat. Then she corrected herself so I managed to avoid and awkward talk luckily

[Cindy]

As Roxy said, even people who are very close too make mistakes. I honestly don't think that the majority of our friends etc do it on purpose, but they have known us for a long time as he or she, and it's almost a reflex. In fact I think it is a reflex. I'm usually OK on gender but I'm terrible at remembering names, and some people do get upset by that and I don't mean to upset them in the least.

Cindy