GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[madisonp]

Hi everyone
I'm Mattie, I sort of haven;t been around in a while but it's nice to see familiar faces and so many new ones as well! XD

So, I guess really I've come to the point where I'm promising myself I'm going to come out to my family before college (fall), because I figured I'd have it made: I'm going to college where very few to 0 people know me, I already pass as a female even without hrt (god knows what's going to happen once I'm on it :3 ) and I'll basically see where things go from there.
Then I realize how very good I am at letting myself down.
I guess I'm just writing this because I'm frustrated, I'm waiting for some step by step "explain to me how to do this like I'm a six year old" sort of thing to come along and make my life easier, or for someone to tell me: It's okay to go through with this, if you don't you're only hurting yourself.
And that pisses me off, because I know it's okay! I feel like a coward,
My mom was so ready to accept the fact that I was trans, I though at one point I actually HAD come out to my parents, my mother even referred to my situation as a "huge change". My father's the one who probably swept my issues under the carpet.
I was thinking I should have my school guidance counselor call them and talk with them, but that would make me feel like I was hiding behind somebody to do my dirty work for me.
And sometimes I feel like I should just transition on my own and wait for them to say something again, but how's one to goo about that?

Anyways, I'f this was more of a rant then a post I apologize,
I guess I'm just looking for some guidance, I'm so tired of having to pretend I'm joking every time I mention something trans related.

[Sarah B]

Hi Madison

I assume you want to study, work and live as a female?  then if that is the case, then one of the most important steps to achieve that is to get on HRT as soon as possible before Testosterone does any further damage to your body.

To get on hormones, you will need to see a gender therapist and who will help you decide how to come out to your parents if that is what you want to do. However to get on hormones and see a therapist depends on the situation with your mum and dad. That is, are you still living with them and of course the health arrangements that pertain to your country.

To study and work the most important step would be to change your name legally.  So that you will have the least hassles in the future.

I seem to be rambling as to what I'm trying to say.  Maybe I should ask you what is it you want to do first? Get hormones? Tell your parents or Change your name?  If you have an answer for one of those questions then one can help you achieve what you want.

Scrap what I said above.

Go and talk to your MUM, ABOUT IT NOW and really explain your feelings and tell her you need to see a gender therapist.

Take care and I'm sure it will work out, but you have to take that step.

Kind regards
Sarah B