Hi everyone. I going through some difficult changes but know I will come out stronger on the other side. I've been an occasional crossdresser the past 30 years, since 21. I had the typical acts of being young (7-8) of climbing in closet and putting on dresses when parents were out at night. Repeated dreams at night at that age of being a girl, having long hair and stuff. Remember being told that before birth doctor said I was going to be a girl, and similar things. But didn't start with makeup, clothing and wig until 21. Lived pretty normal life otherwise , college, then career, and got married at 30. Didn't really start with buying full makeup and clothing and wig until 12 years into the marriage, later when wife and children went on extended vacations with in laws while I was left home, working or some other reason. Desires kept growing stronger, but still tried to repress. To make a long story short a little over four months ago, my wife found pictures of my crossdressing from five years ago, and instead of confronting me, took the pictures to her parents and then proceeded to file for divorce and never talked to me or told me. Just got papers served at work. Was totally shocked. Naturally purged everything, but wife would not talk. Apparently over 20 years of marriage was over.
Eight weeks ago the desires came back stronger than ever, and I gave in. Realizing I will be soon starting for the most part a new life living by myself, the desire to live as a woman and to start a transition to living as such has become very strong. I came across Lucille's page and am doing the flattofem and have been for seven weeks and seeing results I would not have believed beforehand . Also doing the voice feminization sessions too, and some hypnosis stuff. As far as breast development getting to the point of wondering the best way to conceal with about another month of growth. Just wondering what the best solutions for that is. Not something at this point I want anyone to know in my profession or those I work with or are around for 8 hours a day. So basically I can only be female for 16 hours a day, but that is a start. I want to be able to pass in public, and probably that would not be a problem visually if it wasn't for the fact I am about 6'4". Yes, I know there are lots of tall women in the public, such as the Fox newsperson, Laurie who is almost 6'4".
I want to at least tell my one of my sisters I am very close to of my desires to live as a woman, but not completely sure how supportive she would be. She likes to shop and I see her as someone initially who would enjoy helping me out with picking out clothing and such.
Anyway, that's where I stand, and looking for support from those who have been there in similar situations. I still love my wife, but know that it's time to move on. I still have 3 incredible older children. Not sure about how to deal with this with them, though I told them of the pictures and crossdressing.. They just told me they forgive me, doesn't matter what I've done, and they love me. Couldn't ask for anymore out of the children.
Thanks all for the support and encouragement.
Jamie Leigh
