Do I need a break?

[findingreason]

The past month has been quite the eventful one, in both good and bad ways. Almost a month ago I made a major discovery with myself on gender, and it gave me an answer finally to that, I know what needs done....Of course, I have had to fight off doubts, but since I made a vow to myself to not runaway this time when I started counseling again, I am persevering. I am seeing a retreat of the gender stuff currently, but it may just be stress overload that is getting me, and I have to tell myself it will come back; cause it always does. I can't let it cause me to go back into denial, because that's just restarting the cycle, and I am breaking the cycle, though it's tough to do.

In other news, I'm in school full time, working part time, and am dealing with other stuff at the same time. (not gonna go into specifics, but it's a pain....>.<) I am doing some experiments socially too with some light dress (towards androgyny), and stuff like nail polish. I'm probably overly stressing, but I get freaked out in social situations with people, worried about being harassed and such. However it hasn't really happened at all, so I'm not sure I know why I am still this way.

I can't really get detailed, cause I don't have enough brain capacity to do it, but I feel just too overloaded by life right now, and I'm not sure how to get a break from it. haha.

[Janet_Girl]

just let the gender stuff flow, don't try to paddle up stream.  You are not a salmon.  The rest you just need to timeshare your brain.  Get a kitchen time and give each task a certain amount of time.  And when it time is done, move on.

Also use that timesharing to take a little break.  See a movie, read a book, go for a walk.

[findingreason]

Good points, I'm getting a day off on Monday so I'll be using that to relax....and I'm gonna go out to join some organizations at school that I enjoy next week.

[japple]

There is a book and methodology called "Getting Things Done" that a lot of CEOS and business people like.  You should Google it. It's helped me a ton.  I feel like I have a lot of free time where I never did before.  Check it out.  It's pretty easy when you have a lot on your plate to be ineffective but you can do it.   A major thing is scheduling free time.  If you don't schedule freetime then you'll take it when you hit a wall or you'll take it because the rest of your time feels unending.  With school and work, everything you do has to be scheduled.

Good luck! You can do it.

[Domitia]

Go as you feel comfortable. If it's retreating, then perhaps you are doing things to lessen it. For instance, dressing more androgyny / using nail polish could be making you feel more comfortable. I can't speak for how it works for you (only you can) but I know that when I start doing things like this I feel better. Then I question and stop, and it comes back; therefore showing that I should continue. And of course it does cycle on its own free will for me aswell, with varying desire to change; but it never vanishes completely.

As far as time management, it sounds like you're rather busy. Scheduling is definitely important, try and make time for yourself that lets you be free and not bothered for certain times each day. Depending on your schedule it could be a bit of time each day or every few days. I tend to make an hour or two before sleeping, and Sundays my free time where I tune out the world.