I don't know what to do anymore.

[Berren]

I'm really sad.
Ever since coming out and generally realising who I was, I've been so much more happier with myself. But anything bad that happens just seems to be one hundred times worse. Right now I just don't know what I'm going to do. My dad doesn't seem like he will ever come around and actually accept me for who I am, which I would be okay with if it wasn't for needing his approval for hormones before 18. Regardless of that, I just don't feel like I'll ever be who I want to. And that I'll always be in this in-between state of male and female. I have no idea how to get where I want to be, and it all seems just like a pipe-dream on the bad days. I won't have any qualifications or skills for jobs, and I have no idea what I'd want to do. Everything just seems so unobtainable, and I hate it. I just wish I didn't have to go through this. These phases I get of feeling sad seem to be getting worse and worse and it's going as far as not wanting to be around anymore. I'm so stuck. I have no one near me who I can rely on. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

[xAndrewx]

*hug* I hope things start getting better for you soon man. How long ago did he find out you're trans? My mom took time to accept it and after a year now she is using pronouns and name almost perfectly.

[Berren]

Thanks Andrew. I came out to my parents in early May of 2010. He seemed okay with it at the start but as time went on he just started being completely disapproving of it. My mom seemed okay with it (she did freak out a few days after I told her though) and she uses male pronouns and calls me by my chosen name when we're alone in a room or with accepting people, but she's still not used to it and slips up loads. My dad doesn't even want to talk about it, with me or anyone else. He just thinks I'm a freak.

[Dominick_81]

Hey man, I'm sorry your going through such a bad time now, I know the feeling, I feel like I'm stuck too, even though I have T,(I'm not on it yet though, it's just sitting on my dresser) my mom and grandmother just don't want me to get on it and telling me how much worse my life will be if I get on it and that's why I'm kinda waiting to get on T, but I'm also afraid of some of the side effects too, that's why I'm waiting also.

Do you have a counselor to talk to or Friends or any family members that are supportive?

Think about this... once you turn 18 you can get T.  You can do whatever you want, you won't need your parents approval to get it. I don't know how old you are so I don't know how long you would wait to get T, but in the meantime maybe you could find a gender therapist or a counselor to talk to so by the time you turn 18, you can get your T letter and get on T. I haven't talked to a gender therapist so I don't know how that works if maybe you can get T earlier than 18? Maybe if you and your parents talked to a gender therapist or a counselor your parents would see that getting on T would be a good thing and see that you would be happier.

[Lee11]

Hi there!

It's always going to be a tough road that we travel and there are always going to be people that just don't understand...that is a fact of life.
I am sure everyone on this forum ( F to M or M to F) has had moments like you have...and most of us still do. It sucks that we can never fully be who we feel inside in some respects - unless we are lucky enough to be able to pay for full surgery...but then that is not always totally successful in terms of results.
God...this sounds negative...AND ITS NOT MEANT TO!!!...what I am saying is that at the end of the day you have to do your best to BE the person you know you are inside and just LIVE your life with that thought. YOU WILL find people that love and support you and they will outnumber the people who try and take you down..
Don't forget the fact that you have a life without limits of fatal illness to live and you need to embrace it fully and live it to the best of your ability EACH and EVERY day!!!