Some Gays really do not like us.

[KillBelle]

Okay so last night i went out with this guy i've been dating for the last few weeks, he lost a bet and so agreed to go to to a gay bar with me here in Castro (the infamous gay neighborhood in San Francisco).

So we went into the bar, had a great night. Met a few gay guys and they invited us to their table, we all had a few beers, drunkenly danced to Abba (duh!) and everyone was hitting on Scott...you can tell he was having a good time.

So around midnight, in through the door stumbled this HOT mess- a whole 6'4, big hair, big attitude, at least 6 layers of makeup, 5 inch stilettos, tight clothes with her great breasts of wonder fighting its way out of her corset. She walked like a model, with great stride and a big step walking in like she owned the place. Of course i am mesmerized by this beauty, and couldn't take my eyes off of her (her height alone demanded attention, how could you NOT look at her?!)
Of course the entire bar stopped and checked it, she went and sat down at one of the tables and the gay couple there just cringed and started to move away. Beauty obviously noted the shift of energy in the room and started getting REALLY pissed, our table was about 4 feet away from her and one of the gays said- a little too loudly. "Is that a man or a really ugly hooker??"

Our entire table (not me) erupted laughing and of course Beauty heard him and got up in his face, she started flailing her arms at this poor gay guy and Scott had to tell her to sit her ass down. So everyone at the bar was taking turns joking at her, i just stayed quiet mostly because i was fighting the urge to get up and talk to her. She seemed super angry (i dont blame her) and she looked as though she was ready to give a ho a beat-down any minute!! So i didn't approach her at all...and she left in a hurry after several minutes...i think she felt rejected by the place.

The gays at my table started saying how that's a man in a dress and Scott doesn't even KNOW the difference between drag queen and transsexual. The convo went something like this...

Me: C'mon that's hella messed up you didn't have to call her out, but that was one prideful ho so i don't feel sorry for you.
Gay1: That's not a "she"
Gay2: That's a man trying to be a woman


The conversation went on and on and on but basically it gets summed down to two things:

1. (Some) Gays REALLY dislike trans women
2. Gays REALLY dislike trans women with bad hair, and bad makeup.

Just a rant, i feel guilty for not sticking up for her. but at the same time she was really full of animosity and wanting to start a fist fight with every one there. So i didnt bother.

[Constance]

My experience has been that the LGBT community is really about the L and the G. The B and the T are usually pushed to the back.

[Tamaki]

but the entire night pretty much made it clear in my mind that even T-girls are not accepted into the LGBT community...

That's a broad statement!

Two of my good friends are lesbians and are very supportive of me and my transition.

[Constance]

That's a broad statement!

Two of my good friends are lesbians and are very supportive of me and my transition.

At the individual level, support can be found. But at the LGBT group level, in my experience, it's a little trickier.

[Shang]

My experience has been that the LGBT community is really about the L and the G. The B and the T are usually pushed to the back.

That's been pretty much experience as well.  I know about 4 lesbians that are really nice and accepting of me, but the gay guys I know generally aren't as accepting and don't seem to believe me.  I'm trying to bring more of the T into the group because there's another FtM who recently joined and I want him to feel accepted and that the group is truly a LGBT+ group.

[KillBelle]

That's a broad statement!

Two of my good friends are lesbians and are very supportive of me and my transition.

i meant we still face discrimination in the LGBT community sorry...i should have rephrased that! =]

[glendagladwitch]

I'd agree if you said "Some Gays Don Not Like Us," or even "Many Gays do not Like Us."

But I think it's an over generalization to accuse an entire community of mistransony over the actions of a few vocal poeople in a bar.  I doubt you were the only one in the bar who kept silent, or who disapproved of that treatment, but did not intervene.

i meant we still face discrimination in the LGBT community sorry...i should have rephrased that! =]

Ha!  You posted while I was posting.

[KillBelle]

Yeah! sorry...i forget that i am not around my friends and they instantly get what i am throwing out without me having to manipulate my words so much. No i do not believe that every gay person hates us, just based upon my experiences with how i encounter these situations, it is rough out there!

[SnailPace]

The question is, if they had found out that YOU are a trans individual, what kind of lame excuses would they have come up with to defend their actions. 

Because a lot of people argue: If you pass than it's okay.  But how can you help that?

[Julie Marie]

Many Gs and Ls don't like us, until they actually get to know us.  One guy told me he used to hate TGs until he got to know me.  I've heard that more than once. 

As for the girl who got crap from the patrons where you were, I don't blame her for being pissed.  Anyone who knows what it's like to be judged for what you are rather than who you are shouldn't be doing to others exactly what they hate others to do to them.  Maybe that's how the golden rule got its start.

[Lachlann]

Many Gs and Ls don't like us, until they actually get to know us.  One guy told me he used to hate TGs until he got to know me.  I've heard that more than once. 

Indeed, although it's a bit disappointing that it takes that to change someone's mind. Sadly, some don't even want to give us a chance at all!

[Arch]

You might want to change that subject line and make it a little less universal.

[KillBelle]

The question is, if they had found out that YOU are a trans individual, what kind of lame excuses would they have come up with to defend their actions. 

Because a lot of people argue: If you pass than it's okay.  But how can you help that?

This is very interesting, i have told gays in the past that i am a trans-individual, theyre like...no way for real?? I was like yeah, dude whatever it's cool, if you don't believe me you can put your hand down my pants and see what happens. Theyre usually like, NO THANKS.
But had Scott not have been there last night i would have told them.

[Britney♥Bieber]

I haven't experienced that. All my gay friends are so supportive and happy for me, maybe because we were friends before I identified as female. lol. I love my gays

[KillBelle]

I haven't experienced that. All my gay friends are so supportive and happy for me, maybe because we were friends before I identified as female. lol. I love my gays

You look very pretty in your avatar, new contacts? Your skin is glowing.

[Britney♥Bieber]

You look very pretty in your avatar, new contacts? Your skin is glowing.

Thank youuu! That makes me feel good cuz I'm not wearing like any face makeup in that picture (well I did photoshop my bags out)  and no I just thought the light hit them just right and they look great.

[Miniar]

Depends on where you are as well..
Our town's GLBT gather is lead by a Trans-girl, who was rightfully voted in by the mostly bi* group.

(*bi, pan, and "kinda bi, but more into ppl of my own gender" and such)

[Kaelleria]

You find jerks in every group of people...
There are quite a few "->-bleeped-<-r than thou" people whole fall under the T as well.
The old saying, a rose by a different name is still a rose applies here.

Just because someone is LGB doesn't mean they understand T issues, just like I don't really understand some LGB issues.

[Amazon D]

Well duhhh

they use us as enetertainment at their clubs and they own most of the lesbian clubs too and take their money and well i think i know only two gay guys who cared about us and one was at a creating change convention and the other alphie did die sticking up for a TS sister in phila Pa and Alphie McCullough was murdered sticking up for a trans sister.

[Arch]

I like the new subject line. Thanks.

Some of the guys in my men's group have done drag. Nobody seems to have a problem with it. Some of the men are very, uh, nelly. Nobody has a problem with it, and we even joke about it in a very friendly way.

One of the most affected ones was really obnoxious about a trans guy who came to our group for a little while. And I kept thinking, "But SURELY you must know what it's like to have people hate on you...after all, you're so...OBVIOUS!"

I guess I probably shouldn't call him "Shirley," even if he IS obvious.