"new" MTF 26, finally admitting to self, need guidance

[SarahElls]

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[JessicaR]

All I can think to do right now is give you a hug.....

  You're so welcome here.  There are so many of us that have been right where you are.

  There are so many nice people here.. Have a look around and find the wisdom you're looking for.

Jessica

[Domitia]

Welcome to Susan's, Sarah.

By the sounds of it, you're not in an accepting area. You do need to find a therapist who you can talk openly with, but I can understand that trust isn't that strong. Do you know of any support groups in your area? It might be something to look into, they may have information on good therapists (among other things); this might take time to feel comfortable doing however.

For now, it's good that you came here. Susan's is a very supportive place and there is tons of information to be found. Don't be afraid to ask questions, show your opinion, celebrate victories, or vent.

[Adabelle]

Welcome Sarah.

I see many of my own struggles in what you've shared here. Please just know you are absolutely not alone in this. Susan's is a great place to share, and read, and discover.

I've seen a few therapists to work through my trans issues, but I can say that this forum has been a HUGE benefit to that process. If you are honest here, there's a wealth of information (people) that can help you find what you're looking for.

*hug*

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5200 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  
• Age and the Forum
  

Definitely find a good Gender Therapist.  And get better.  You need your health and a good therapist.

Hugs and Love,
Janet
   

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

don't be freaked out, but i have a pretty particular memory. haven't you been in the chat about 2 years ago. something like that. i remember "SarahWells"

[Melody Maia]

Welcome Sarah. The first half of you story is very much like mine. My parents weren't has hateful and I didn't try to hurt myself, but the rest is the same. You are among people who have been there and understand. No more need for shame or embarrassment.

[Jacquelyn]

Welcome to Susan's, Sarah!

I am sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you. However, I am glad that you have come to Susan's. Here you will find immeasurable support and kindness from all of the members. Your story is very similar to many individuals here. The key is to never give up! Things may look gloomy now, but things always have a way of turning around when you least expect it.

Don't be shy, post your thoughts and questions, everyone here is open and willing to share with you. As Janet said, we're a family, so welcome, Sis!

I look forward to seeing you around the boards and getting to know you better, Sarah!

Hugs,
Jacquelyn

[Cruelladeville]

Many years back i was involved with heading-up a counselling group (weekly) that dealt with TG peeps...

I know the pressure to be beautiful is huge... but the reality is that most women are not in fact cover girl gorgeous...

So being a tall fat, heavy woman for many GGs is a daily living reality...

But it doesn't stop them being women...

And for everybody shape there is a chap out there that would be an admirer....

A tiny % of TG gals do have a very easy time of it... and defo the ones that get treatment as early as 13...

But many that i encountered with far from model figures, would never regret the real journeys to fulfilment that they began.

In the end if it was for me being a miserable woman or a miserable man in the main... I'd still go for the girlie option every time... 

But it ain't easy.... never is... we all have off days the ones that make it through are the ones that pick themselves up... and never give in...

Hold that thought...

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Sarah,
It is good to meet you.
Early on I too felt like ending it all many times. And even prayed that I would die.
To transition is to go one step at a time. They whole process can be mind boggling.
So just start today right now doing one thing. Just take that first step.
As far as being tall and having big hands your talking about a friend of mine in high school.
She was a beautiful woman.
But 8" taller than me and my hands looked like a child's beside hers.
And as I remember it she had a fun personality too.
Sarah so what if it takes a life time to become all that you want to be.
It's so much better to move forward than just lay there, isn't it?
You have no more excuses sis.
As other have said you need to get a gender therapist someone that really can help you.
You can do it girl.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Jennie]

Hi SarahElls , welcome to Susans, I hope you feel better now that you are taking a positive step to making yourself happy.  PLEASE do not hurt yourself, I hate to hear that you feel so bad to the point that you would want to end it all, I know how you feel, I have been there too, all I can say as long as you live to make you happy and forget killing yourself as an option because it is not.  I am here if you ever need a ear to talk to or a sholder to cry on, hang in there and rely on us to help you when you are down, remember your focus will determine your reality so stay focused on helping yourself to come out and enjoy the life you have been missing for so long.  Send me a email if you ever need to talk.

Jennie