What if I am not Transsexual?

[Ricki]

Elizabeth i admire you for even saying it?  Or questioning it?
A lot of people feel the aboslute and there's no turning back with their thoughts-many as well do not feel absolute (this is a vodka too you know )
and their thoughts sway from this distinction to that... I do not think there is anything wrong with questioning things especially as time goes by and as things change people change, our feelings change, our circumstances around ourselves change. all these things i think have impacts on who and what we are or desire to be...
My feelings are not changing they are where they have always been.. The fact that i have not done anything to change the other end should be pretty self explanatory..I am waiting for another answer to my problem.....
Tink quoted in her post

The penalty that nature, that reality itself inflicts on the casual, the unwary, the unconcerned  and the foolish is ABSOLUTE. Sex reassignment is absolutely ONE WAY ONLY, and attempts to reverse the procedure after completion are sad at best. The bottom line is very simple.

For me, knowing this all to well, then the other option at some point in my life is 100% conceivable as well.. And albeit not pretty, but practical for me....
Ricki

[ChildOfTheLight]

But you know what, I've heard that many GGs are aroused by certain clothes so I don't let it bother me.

Oh really??   That's very interesting to know.

Specifically lacy undergarments, that type of thing. Then too, we all like to feel pretty, right? 

Exactly. I mean heck, a natal woman can dress up all sexy, head off to a dance club, slither around the dance floor, running her hands up and down her body, turning on all the men AND herself in the process... and people just think she's sexy and confident.

But if a TS woman did that... oh my... it must be a sexual fetish, she must have transitioned just to be her own sex object, etc.

Kate

You make a good point.

But how surprising is it, really, that people would think that?  Men can't dress to "feel sexy" without being labeled perverts, fetishists, or what have you.  As long as a lot of people think of MtF transsexuals as "men who want to be women for some strange reason," which they do, the same double standard will apply to them.  (It shouldn't apply to anyone -- but that's another story.)

This thread has been very interesting for me to read.  I'm not transsexual (although I have questioned that, or perhaps because I have questioned it, I'm confident in stating it as truth) so this has helped me to better understand what that means, both in an abstract, academic way and in specifically understanding a close friend of mine who is a currently transitioning MtF. 

Now that I think about it, my friend once said something that is very relevant to Kate's point.  She said, "A lot of the things I do would make more sense to people if they just looked at me as being similar to a biological girl."

[Teri Anne]

Elizabeth, you wrote "I have this longing to be a real woman, not just a pretend woman."

Elizabeth, for some the questioning will never end.  I remember reading a book by the post-op surgeon/tennis player TS, the famous Renee Richards.  She still had questions after her surgery as to why she did it.  She came to the conclusion that it was an overwhelming compulsion that could not be cured in any other manner...and this is a highly educated (far more than me) surgeon talking. 

I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I wonder from time to time if the whole TS thing is medical truth or something I just feel better, happier in.  But we're on this earth for such a short while, I felt I had to do it.  I hated Renee Richards' describing being TS as a compulsion because, to me, it trivialized it.  It would link me to other obsessive people like axe murderers.  Don't I have more self-control than that?  Since I always demand truth in all things and don't feel it appropriate to take risks on "faith,"  why did I make the move?  The answer:  After 5 years of being post op, I can say I honestly feel I made the right choice even though I know that medical research science hasn't come up with indisputable proof as to why I am the way I am.  Gays face the same battle and eventually make peace with the battle of questioning themselves and just get on with their lives.

So, Elizabeth, don't ever torture yourself about being a "pretend woman" because you haven't yet had SRS.  I assure you, if you're like me, you'll STILL question from time to time, after SRS, if you are truly a woman.  We're our own worst enemy, as you know.

To question is to be human.  But, as some have suggested, don't let the questioning become an repedative obsession.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy teaches us to break that cycle of things that make us sad.  Remember to relax and be happy.

Teri Anne

(P.S. to room - sorry about the blue background -- SOMEDAY I'll learn how to do the blue "insert quote" thing, lol)

[Nikki_W]

(P.S. to room - sorry about the blue background -- SOMEDAY I'll learn how to do the blue "insert quote" thing, lol)

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[Melissa]

I hated Renee Richards' describing being TS as a compulsion because, to me, it trivialized it.

I thinkit's a good thing to trivialize the whole TS thing?  Why?  Because it's really is not a big deal.  We had a problem and at the time it seemed big and it seemed big, because it transsexualism is NOT trivialized.  I feel it's quite simple.  I am a woman that needed to transition my body to female.  Yes I grew up as a male.  Yes I have a male history.  I will not deny it or lie about it.  Why?  Because by lying about it, makes it a big deal.  It shows shame.

I was recently asked by somebody if I was TS.  I just simply answered that I was and that was it really.  Sometimes people have questions because they are genuinely curious and I answer those to the best of my ability.  I almost never talk about it or refer to it and I tend to gender-neutralize my past so that I can freely talk about it without feeling like I'm lying.

My point is that being TS and transitioning really isn't a big deal and the people who freak out about it do so because to them it IS a big deal.

Melissa

[Ricki]

Melissa you make a great point, because i think the person is the one who drives the importance or issue of what they are dealing with?  some people are scared to death to just drive in city traffic and to them that is a great source of stress, to some it could be heights (not withstanding a medical condition).
But for me transitioning would be a great source of worry and stress and not transitioning is a great deal of worry and stress.  I have it eaither way i guess.  But i am put together the way i am i guess.... so even though some things in life that terrify others that do not terrify me, i find great stress in transitioning and i guess not transitioning?  I guess i'm just a stressed out girl!

Agghhhhhhhhhhh
hugs
Ricki

[Melissa]

Well, if either stresses you out equally, then I guess just look at the result you want out of it (be male or female).  My guess is transition will be the choice.

Melissa

[Ricki]

We'll see that is a sharp turn for me and a long road to look down at maybe, I'll never say NOT or NEVER but right now i have a lot of other things going on that take priority over me. 
It is what it is...
Hey good news the bears won i'm saying it they're gonna win the super bowl! Hah and i'm a Steelers fan of course!