So, I have always been very straight-laced, at least in terms of drugs and alcohol (okay, well, in everything). Until recently, the only drug I'd ever had was alcohol--and I've only even gotten very drunk once. I've also had chronic anxiety problems and am currently taking an SSRI to combat that, but that only helps a very small amount with my dysphoria. I identify as androgyne, but while my gender presentation varies, my identity is pretty solidly male, and I have according dysphoria about my body (and gender roles, but that's another issue).
To get to the point, I tried a very common drug recently, which I will not specifically describe due to the forum rules. The experience was, and has consistently been, eye-opening. Almost ALL of my body dysphoria disappears for a few hours. My body actually feels male (especially so when my eyes are closed), and I actually feel at home in it. It has also helped with my anxiety, although I do very rarely get irrationally anxious from it for a very short period. I can shrug off the constant nagging worries. And this is probably T.M.I., but lifting all of this off of my shoulders makes my sex drive skyrocket.
What I want to know is, has anyone else had this kind of experience with a substance, either illegal or legally prescribed? And have you had trouble with getting dependent on it? I am being careful and making sure that this is not my only "treatment" (I am taking medication for my anxiety as I mentioned, and I am seeing a gender therapist) and I don't want to do it often, but I can see the possibility of getting dependent on this to alleviate my dysphoria.
