Hi,
Most if not all of us in this community has/are feeling like you do. I came close to suicide too but I was saved from that and have a successful transitioned life. It wasn't easy, I would not wish GID on my worst enemy (not that I have any, lol). One day you will feel down and the next up. I felt like two people being pulled apart. Now I am one fully and truly myself. Its hard to explain the dichotomy I felt and even harder now to remember. I lived with my GID for 48 years, well, to be exact 40 as it was at age 8 things got confused.
Self determination is the best thing in the world and holding on to your dreams.
Take care and hugs,
Stardust
