MTF Post-Op Reverted Back To Male Gender

[Kim 526]

I understand first-hand of the trials of transitioning MTF. I transitioned in 1999, started HRT that year, had SRS in Montreal in 2001. I was board chair of a local trans support group. I did everything a good TS was supposed to do. But in 2003 because my teenage children were so ashamed of being seen with me, I went back.

I'm concerned that, in this forum, my experience may be repugnant to those who have worked so hard and suffered so much in their transition and their lives. Please don't consider me a traitor.

However, the reason I an posting here is that I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.

Thanks for understanding,

K

[Ashley Allison]

Nope, does not bother me at all... Everyone has there own path to happiness and contentment, and sometimes that means having to fulfill the wishes of their family.  You are welcome here Changed Back

[Rock_chick]

Welcome to the site. Your story is your own and i'm sure your experiences on your journey will prove insightful to others in similar situations.

Anyway, please have a read of the TOS https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html and make yourself welcome.

[alexia elliot]

You are as beautiful of a creature as any one of us. We go through tribulations and pain and seek the truth and imagine such to be this wonderful place of solstice and wonder when we eventually get there. But often we forget to look around through the blinding pain to see the glimpse of wonders around us. You have done what not many would have a strength to do, give up your self again as a gift of love to those who you cherish. I am in the midst of fog and place where I have lost what I had and not yet gained what I hoped to have. We are all brothers and sisters regardless of who or how we are, united by our pain, love and truth which sometimes seems unobtainable. All my love, Alexia.

[Janet_Girl]

Your life is your life, for you to live your way.

[AweSAM!]

Repugnant? No way. You did what you felt you needed to do. Don't feel that you can't post or be respected here, since we appreciate contributions from all. I hope you find happiness, and no matter what, we here can try and help where and when we can.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Although I'd never dream of doing that, I respect that you did it, for your kids. I can't imagining transition as a parent. Your welcome here though

[rejennyrated]

Absolutely not. Each of us has to find out what works for us.

The ONLY people I do get very annoyed with are those, like the infamous Sam Kane, in the UK, who quite frankly I would like to drop off the nearest cliff, who go one step further than that and argue that since they changed back (and sometimes had regrets) then everyone should change back, and indeed all GRS should be banned.

As long as you don't start to drift towards telling me what I should do, then I am very happy for you that you have found a compromise solution that works for you.

Likewise although I am one of those for whom things worked out, who has lived for well over half my life in target gender, I would NEVER dream of telling anyone else that that was what they must do.

So welcome. Your experience and story may well prove invaluable to someone here.

[Sandy]

I very much agree with Jenny in this respect.

I admire your courage in making some very hard choices in your life and I respect you for that.

In many ways, we can seem life a bunch of cheerleaders here.  We acknowledge and encourage others in their pursuit of their goal.  And, perhaps, to others, we may seem like we are affirming our actions because others do the same.

That is not the case.  As you know, this is a very hard and solitary process, not to be taken lightly.  And we often say that if there is any way to avoid this then do that.  And we respect them all the more for that.

But, likewise, it is not regarded well when someone tries to affirm their choice by saying that everyone who has transitioned is wrong and it should be denied to everyone else because they chose another path.

I think if you go through some of the archives here, you may find some threads of people who have decided to stop.  But for the most part, people who do decide to stop, usually drift away and are not active participants because of that.

But feel free to tell your story and have discussion here.  It does help others seeking answers to see as many sides as possible.

Thank you.

-Sandy

[Kim 526]

Wow, thanks for all the support!

To clarify - I still consider myself TS, sort of MTFTM. I have no regrets about having transitioned, and I am proud of being me. If any of my children were TS and decided to transition, I would be their biggest cheerleader!

I've never seen any posts by people who are against transitioning or SRS. Though nobody can see me through my clothes, I am very proud of my "new" anatomy and feel just right the way I am. I'm glad I had SRS because now I feel like me. Enigmatic perhaps. Again, I did what I did. I have no regrets.

This is an awesome community. Love to all!

K

[Amazon D]

Absolutely not. Each of us has to find out what works for us.

The ONLY people I do get very annoyed with are those, like the infamous Sam Kane, in the UK, who quite frankly I would like to drop off the nearest cliff, who go one step further than that and argue that since they changed back (and sometimes had regrets) then everyone should change back, and indeed all GRS should be banned.

As long as you don't start to drift towards telling me what I should do, then I am very happy for you that you have found a compromise solution that works for you.

Likewise although I am one of those for whom things worked out, who has lived for well over half my life in target gender, I would NEVER dream of telling anyone else that that was what they must do.

So welcome. Your experience and story may well prove invaluable to someone here.

Ditto Jenny said it well.

Some people thought i had gone back but the one was a post op friend who liked men and that attention while i hated it. Yes i still don't see my one son but thats his choice. The other probably prefers not to see me but so far he hasn't said so and well i just try to let them both know i love them. I probably should change my screen name to something like super butch dyke or something but i made this one to share my situation of how most people in real life see me as a FTM since i have a female name and legal gender and pierced ears and no facial beard shadow, but i wear male clothes.

hey did you ever hang out at the gazebo on aol ? 

[blair]

The ONLY people I do get very annoyed with are those, like the infamous Sam Kane, in the UK, who quite frankly I would like to drop off the nearest cliff, who go one step further than that and argue that since they changed back (and sometimes had regrets) then everyone should change back, and indeed all GRS should be banned.

I very much agree with you. When my parents were fighting me tooth and nail on my decision to transition, one of the story's they sent me was of Charles Kane.

OP, it is absolutely not repugnant to me.

[Stephanie.Izann]

You'll find some of the most loving and non-judgmental people on here.
I welcome your experience with open arms. We're here for ya!
Peace,
Stephie

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

I would never judge anyone who felt like their social situation compelled them to detransition.

Out of curiosity/concern, though, you are on hormones, either estrogen or testosterone, right?  I don't mean to pry, but I would hate it if you were to suffer from osteoporosis because of a lack of sex hormones.

[Sarah B]

Hi Changed Back

Welcome to Susan's and what you have done is not repugnant to me, because you have made a decision and what Janet said, "Your life is your life, for you to live your way", is what I also believe, because if I did not hold this view then I would be nothing but a hypocrite.  In addition, I also agree with Rejennyrated. Statements.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Kind Regards
Sarah B

[Miniar]

Yo and welcome.

You're not the only one on here who's gone back.

We all have to do what is "right" by ourselves, first and foremost.
As long as you're happy and healthy, well...
.. that's all that really counts isn't it?

[carolinejeo]

Hi Changed-back

I do know of others that have made that journey.

It would be interesting to know whether or not you still take estrogen and do you also sometimes present yourself in female clothes?

Caroline

[spacial]

I can't think of anything more typical of a good parent that they would give up everything for their children.

[Renate]

Of course anybody's decision about their life is their prerogative.

Still, if somebody decided to drive from Boston to San Francisco and
somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert they decided to turn back,
I might question whether more thought should have gone into the decision.

[niamh]

I would never judge anyone like this because I have never been there. I would only be concerned that you were happy with your life. I am happy that this community is so diverse and there is always something to learn from the stories of others.