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Gender questioned???

Started by Kinkly, January 15, 2011, 07:48:37 AM

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Kinkly

I'm wondering how other people here react when they are asked "are you a boy or a girl"?
I was asked this on 2 different times today despite being very different situations the responce was "I'm a bit of Both" both times, I've built up enough confidence that I'm glad to be seen as who I am reguardless of weather It is a little confused child or a teen who is trying to insult me.
How do other people  respond to these situations  and do you have any feelings about being questioned it this way?
I don't want to be a man there from Mars
I'd Like to be a woman Venus looks beautiful
I'm enjoying living on Pluto, but it is a bit lonely
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rite_of_inversion

I haven't had to deal with it lately.  When I was younger and thought of myself as a "genderbent female," it made me distinctly uncomfortable-because I really wanted to be seen as female evne though my appearance was pretty androgynous. Plus I've never taken being made fun of well.

Now I think I'd feel frightened that I was being too obviously what I am.  ::) Can't make me happy with anything, can you?.
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ativan

I just get a lot of "What the H*ll is wrong with you!", but I'm sure that it has nothing to do with how I look. I don't look androgynous in the least. That may start to change here though.
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Hermione01

I hate hearing other people arguing or discussing what gender they think I am.  It's like I'm deaf or something.  Most people wouldn't dare ask me up front mainly because of their own embarrassment rather than mine.  :-\
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Jaimey

I was only ever asked once and that was when I was about 11 at 4-H camp.  My only thought was, "really?"  Maybe I was more boyish than I realized...too bad I didn't realize that I was androgyne then!
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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LordKAT

I figured if anyone ever asked, I'd tell them I don't know and wonder if they can tell me.
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Cindy

Quote from: LordKAT on January 25, 2011, 01:38:09 AM
I figured if anyone ever asked, I'd tell them I don't know and wonder if they can tell me.

Or, "I'm not sure, have you figured out what you are?"
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LordKAT

Quote from: CindyJames on January 25, 2011, 02:03:46 AM
Or, "I'm not sure, have you figured out what you are?"

That is even better.
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LilDoberman

I've never been asked, although it would make my day.  I tend to get ma'amed to death once they figure it out, as if they want me to say 'yep, you win!!'  Annoying, but easily dismissable.  I get a lot of stares too, especially if I'm with my kids, but I guess that's a positive in a weird way.
--Deanne  :P
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E

I've only been asked once, and my reply was "What do you think?" But being asked that really made my day ;D !
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xxUltraModLadyxx

before i started transitioning into female, people did this alot. many times they didn't ask me to my face, but i've heard rude people in the background talking about me and saying "is that a boy or a girl?" i never applied myself to being a "real male." not like i even knew what that was. i just did the safe thing and lived on the fence, which i ended up finding wasn't such an easy thing after all. the few times i was asked to my face what my gender is, i replied, "i don't even know." the thing is, most people didn't ask me to my face because i also have asperger's, and i was normally dismissed for "special ed" before they even got to my gender.
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xxUltraModLadyxx

Quote from: Hermione01 on January 24, 2011, 08:51:09 PM
I hate hearing other people arguing or discussing what gender they think I am.  It's like I'm deaf or something.  Most people wouldn't dare ask me up front mainly because of their own embarrassment rather than mine.  :-\

i've gotten the same thing!
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ZaidaZadkiel

I've gotten asked a few times,
some kids ask me "are you a boy or a girl?" and I say "sometimes", just to confuse them more.

Once, a bunch of 4 kids ganged on me trying to get me to tell them what am I, so I did the natural thing, said I am male, then I am female, then I am male, then female, etc for every time they asked.

It's really amusing to confuse people who wants to know what am I.
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Alex37

Quote from: CindyJames on January 25, 2011, 02:03:46 AM
Or, "I'm not sure, have you figured out what you are?"

I need to remember this for next time someone asks   ;D
If you're going through hell, keep going.   Winston Churchill
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Xyrenth

I have never been asked this question. *sigh* Curse my long hair, short stature, and hip-waist ratio.
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Juliet

When I was little I looked like a boy, acted like a boy and pretty much was a boy.  Still, though, I hated it when a substitute teacher or someone I didn't know mistook me for a boy-- only because everyone would make the biggest deal out of it.  My friends would yell at the poor person as if its their fault for making such a dumb mistake (really it was no fault of theirs at all!) the poor person would feel terrible and apologize profusely, everyone would stare at me trying to see if i'm upset by it or not, etc.   It was embarrassing. 
If it was a stranger or someone in passing who quickly referred to me as a boy and no one else was around, I didn't get upset or correct them or anything. 
It was everyone else's reactions to it that caused me discomfort

Transfinite

My answer is always a blunt "No". It confuses people and makes them shut up.
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espo

Quote from: Juliet on March 13, 2011, 08:27:16 PM
When I was little I looked like a boy, acted like a boy and pretty much was a boy.  Still, though, I hated it when a substitute teacher or someone I didn't know mistook me for a boy-- only because everyone would make the biggest deal out of it.  My friends would yell at the poor person as if its their fault for making such a dumb mistake (really it was no fault of theirs at all!) the poor person would feel terrible and apologize profusely, everyone would stare at me trying to see if i'm upset by it or not, etc.   It was embarrassing. 
If it was a stranger or someone in passing who quickly referred to me as a boy and no one else was around, I didn't get upset or correct them or anything. 
It was everyone else's reactions to it that caused me discomfort


Outside influences.  We are okay until other people tell us something is wrong.
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Nygeel

I answer "yes" or "no" depending on the situation.
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noeleena

Hi,

Yes i have & still do & allways will,   manly young children . so my resposs is i was a boy & now im a girl & most are quite happy with that & pretty much thats it..

The older ones I just say im a woman with a male background who lives as a woman...& yes iv spoken in front of a ....LOT... of people , the truth is im brain wired intersex or androgynous, most people accept im a woman & leave it there ,

for a few who wont to know me better then i tell them the nuts & bolts   part of who i am. & they are the ones i like talking to

For me it depends on the time , place & who the people are .

Of cause when your on T V  & in the papers,    i tryed to make it simple concise & yes im different & can be a part of socity with out problems & live as who i am. & the acceptance has been great ,

Our T V,   2 stations & papers ,  I was interviewed for,   opened  up so many doors for me that out side of where we live it was strange haveing people say i know you , yes the T V . so it can be good if its done right & you go from there.

...noeleena...
Hi. from New Zealand, Im a woman of difference & intersex who is living life to the full.   we have 3 grown up kids and 11 grand kid's 6 boy's & 5 girl's,
Jos and i are still friends and  is very happy with her new life with someone.
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