How do you deal with haters?

[Shana A]

1. How do you deal with those who denigrate your existence and invalidate your indentity by insisting there are only 2 genders, that there is nothing in between, no grey area?

I listen to their point of view, do my best to try to understand with compassion, and then continue being true to myself!

2. How do you deal with those who say that your very non-binary existence contributes to stereotypes and makes life harder for the True Trannsexuals?

They seem to believe me to be way more powerful than I am!

Z

[Jaimey]

I think confidence and a deaf ear (or, in this case, blind eyes) are the best ways to handle things.  A couple of years ago, I got into a debate with a couple on here, not about the validation of gender identity, but about wording in posts.  The only thing I could do was to ignore them and I asked one of them not to message me anymore.  Some people are just hard headed. 

[aisha]

I listen to them and consider their opinion, but ultimately I follow my own heart, and inner voice in the end, but its true words are fickle, and in this sense the world is well

[noeleena]

Hi,

  What is the best way for some one to be able to understand something that they struggle with if it has to do with some of us ,
it would be best to just say,
     & ill  just say it softly , please ,  live in my shoes walk where i walk meet the people i meet , meet our  Jos & me /my friends & then you may see  & understand how i think how i see things & how i am & what makes me tick .

Heres the ? am i a male or a female . or both. try this & i know you cant do this because you are not me .

I think both male & female at the same time or & i think you seem to understand intersex well im wired brain wired intersexed. i was born this way,

You see there is no just male & female only & now you try & tell those who have not had any thing to do with people like us .

Well i do im in front of many people  1000s with in our groups & others & they have accepted who i am,  know my back ground & accept that & none of these people are trans . im the only one .

Yet iv had a bit to do with trans groups & they wont to be accepted , in these cases as women yet some wont accept intersexed or like my self a androgynous person so i wonder why they wont,  that to me is strange ,

so like you ladyrider. you are not like us so you dont understand & i dont expect you to,  like many i know ,
& as it stands those i know , They have just accepted who i am & as a woman & is that all no of cause not,  well you know more about some of us & as  you get to know us youll find youll learn to understand if you can open your mind with out putting a barrier around your self like some people seem to do,
   Its the old saying ...fear to accept... is worse than having to change what you belive or been taught, or is it ,
That is what i have had to deal with , with in certain groups . & yet i have have many friends going back 48 years who accepted who i am then & now.

...noeleena...

[Miniar]

Everyone under the TG umbrella, no matter what term they closest identify with, get told, at one point or another, directly or not, that they're "wrong" somehow.
I've been told I'm wrong because I don't want to go stealth. I've been told I'm less of a man because I accept that I'm trans. I've been told that I'm not only "not a man" but that I'm actively harming other transsexual people because I don't think I'll ever be "cisgender".

My response tends to be to debate back at the person, in calm and thought out terms, explaining my view and trying to point out why I do what I do, why I feel what I feel, and I tend to include in that debate a mention of the simple fact that they can't tell me I'm wrong without being hypocritical about refusing to allow cisgender haters to tell them that they are wrong. They don't know how I feel, I don't know how they feel. I'm not them, they are not me. We all have to have our own path in life and so on and so forth.
I tend to word it in a manner that allows me to point these things out to them by drawing as many similes between their behaviour and the behaviour of non-trans haters, the real, physical threat to all of us, as possible. Opting to show them what lows they stoop to by choosing to treat "one of their own" the way they do.

... 'course, that usually ends with someone calling me a jerk... or worse...

[LilDoberman]

I've come to the realization (personal, mind you) that it is truly impossible to put yourself in someone elses shoes, to understand someone completely different from yourself.   You can acknowledge and accept, if you're willing and that's a worthy goal that is grossly overlooked.   I do my best, honestly.   Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world who can't be bothered.

In response to the quote from the OP, I would simply tell them that sometimes it is quicker to get to your goal by stepping on others, but that doesn't make it ok.

[rite_of_inversion]

Yeah, I get the bisexual hatred too.

Oh, yeah, and I'm a theist. But being a polytheist means that there are those theists who'll hate me too.

And according to the book Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie Garber, "monosexual" is indeed a word. 

Waitaminute...
Okay, I'm pretty much pansexual-although married and monogamous..
I consider myself to be polytheistic, pagan with strong buddhist elements,
And I'm wondering if I'm bigendered also.

I am just totally screwed, aren't I?

[Constance]

Waitaminute...
Okay, I'm pretty much pansexual-although married and monogamous..
I consider myself to be polytheistic, pagan with strong buddhist elements,
And I'm wondering if I'm bigendered also.

I am just totally screwed, aren't I?

Welcome to Nero's Unicorn Forest.

[Jaimey]

Welcome to Nero's Unicorn Forest.

Haha!  Amen.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

Sounds like a good time for a cake party.

Hereby I formally invite any and all androgynes to come to my little patch in the forest to have cake and talk about how funny those normals are.
Bring your towel.

[Shana A]

Sounds like a good time for a cake party.

Did someone say cake?! I hope it's chocolate 

Z

[ZaidaZadkiel]

Chocolate and Strawberry. It'll be a middle point between that, of course.
We will also have a few vanilla cake, for those who aren't into the bittersweet flavor of ambiguity.

[Eva Marie]

Did someone say cake?! I hope it's chocolate 

Z

A bacon cake would be good too.

[ativan]

A bacon cake would be good too.

That does sound good! But, I'm also on more Percocet than I like, and in more pain than I like. And I'm hungry.

[Jaimey]

A bacon cake would be good too.

I've seen bacon used on Cupcake Wars...it could happen.

[ativan]

A bacon cake would be good too.

No Percocet and less pain, and a bacon cake still sounds good, which got me to thinking about bacon pie. That lead to pumpkin pie with bacon bits on top. Then chocolate cake with bacon frosting....... There's a pan of brownies downstairs. And real bacon bits (don't read the ingredients on the label....ever) in a jar in the fridge.   Later.