What has being on T done for you?

[Everyone]

Sorry for all the threads. ^^ I've just been thinking of a lot of questions recently.

I read 'the truth about T' on some website, and it got me thinking about just how much of it was true. I really don't believe all of it, because the way it was written seemed like it was written by some girl who was mad at transmen for not keeping their female bodies or something like that. Sorry if I offend anyone by saying that lol. Anyways, I read that some transmen get HIV from starting T. Is that true? Other than that question, how long have you been on T and what are the effects it has had on you (good and bad, mental and physical)?

[gilligan]

I'm not on T, so I can't say much. But to my knowledge the only way you can get HIV from starting T would be using dirty needles that have been infected with HIV. In essence, don't share needles; besides, you should use a fresh needle every time.

[Lachlann]

That list is a perfect example of someone stating truths and then twisting it around for their own personal agenda. All the "In actualities" are false.

[Wraith]

Yeah, sounds like you've read a list of complete bull. We aren't allowed to link, but there's a website called ftmguide that I recommend that you look into, it lists a lot of info on testosterone, the changes, as well as informs about common misconceptions about T.
I'm personally not on T yet either, guessing it will take another ½ year of seeing my psychologist first.

[Heath]

I'm assuming you were reading d's blog. Don't pay attention to anything that Voldemort look-alike woman has to say. Her misinformed garbage only serves to further segregate the already oppressed. If you're gonna be butch, then be butch. That's cool with me. But as someone who is oppressed, you'd logically think she wouldn't try to oppress others. Maybe one day she won't spew so much hatred.

As stated already, you only contract HIV through sharing dirty needles. With testosterone you're given fresh sterile needles to do the injections.

In terms of physical changes, it's true that the clit grows, body and facial hair grow, body fat redistributes, the voice deepens, and it's true that some aspects of the female body remain, but I'm comfortable with that.

[Nygeel]

It has helped with my self confidence. That's about it so far.

[VanOcc]

That's an article on dirty's blog, a disillusioned 'butch' who transitioned in an ill-informed manner and bitterly de-transitioned.

You need to inform yourself clearly about t. It's not a wonder drug. You will develop secondary male characteristics.. but not all of them are what you might idolise, like male pattern baldness etc. However, the decision lies with you, and it's always a good idea to listen to your own insecurities, because if you don't sort them out they will come back to bite you. T works wonders for some people, not so much for others, but what it does for everyone, generally, is helping the process of feeling more aligned with your own body. That's what you can aim for and expect.

There's a beautiful guy on youtube, who stopped his t because of various reasons, but he doesn't look any less of a man etc. I think his username is meikoxavier. Youtube in general is a good place to find out about ftm's reactions to t.

Not all that shines is gold. So you know. Make sure you're informed about t and know the sort of things to expect. It's unreasonable to expect t to make you into a bio-male, but that doesn't mean it won't go a long way to making you more happy within yourself!

[Wraith]

Meiko got back on T eventually though, as he came to terms with the difference between wanting to look androgynous versus the actual physical need to be on T. He's got great videos, lots of insights.

I find androgynous looks to be very beautiful, but right now I can say, some of the feminine characteristics you get back after stopping T are some of those that have been giving me the most dysphoria, so the thought of stopping at some point just terrifies me (larger hips & thighs, periods, loss of any muscle mass you got on T).

[VeryGnawty]

That's an article on dirty's blog, a disillusioned 'butch' who transitioned in an ill-informed manner and bitterly de-transitioned.

There's an MtF who did the same thing, transitioning for the wrong reasons, thinking that life as a female would be glamorous.

Where I come from, we call this jumping the gun.  It means that someone made a big decision with very little forethought.

You need to inform yourself clearly about t. It's not a wonder drug. You will develop secondary male characteristics.. but not all of them are what you might idolise, like male pattern baldness etc.

Yeah.  That is really the key.  It is a package deal.  All or nothing.  That's one of the reasons I did so much research on sexual characteristics.  As someone who is already "petite" to begin with, I've considered the possibility that transitioning to female might cause me to become some delicate and dainty thing (which I absolutely would not want).  But I'm willing to take that risk, and I wouldn't push myself to continue if I felt the benefits didn't outweigh any detriments.

But even if I did mess myself up, it would be my own fault.  There's no reason to rail against others like may of these de-transitioners do.  It seems that they are simply unwilling to accept responsibility for their own actions.  So instead, they complain about people who they perceive to be pertinent to their own mistakes.

Transition is a huge decision.  It needs to be done with the proper preparation, and the right reasons.

[insideontheoutside]

You need to inform yourself clearly about t. It's not a wonder drug. You will develop secondary male characteristics.. but not all of them are what you might idolise, like male pattern baldness etc. However, the decision lies with you, and it's always a good idea to listen to your own insecurities, because if you don't sort them out they will come back to bite you. T works wonders for some people, not so much for others, but what it does for everyone, generally, is helping the process of feeling more aligned with your own body. That's what you can aim for and expect.

As with any drug you put into your body there's side effects. Also, as far as I can tell a lot of the anti-T propaganda on the open web is partial fact in that it came from studies done on biological males who had excessive T levels. Excessive T in a bio guy can cause all sorts of issues. There haven't been long term legit studies (that I know of) on female born individuals who take T. You can look at some body builders, but often times they're not getting it from their doctor like ftm guys are - they're injecting anabolic steroids that also have masculine side effects. So you can't really compare to that either. You could look at women with PCOS who have elevated levels of T - that might be the closest comparison even though the reason why they have health problems is because their bodies themselves are producing elevated levels of the hormones and there's more going on there (with the ovaries and stuff).

So I think even doctors at this point are kind of speculating what T will actually do beyond the masculine side effects because there are no long term studies specifically on the ftm population.

I've often wondered too if there's any cases of someone who just didn't want to deal with their reproductive system any more and managed to get a hysto without going through all the GID hoops ... or someone who just didn't want tits somehow managed that one. Hell, when you see shows on body modification people have done a lot harder core things than chop off their tits and somehow they got it done (I'm thinking like the people who have ->-bleeped-<- implanted into them - like that dude with horns that are supposedly drilled into his skull). F'ing crazy. But when it comes to gender there's this huge "do not pass" sign unless you go through all the GID crap. What if it were classed as body modification instead? What if it wasn't crazy hard to just say, "Hey, you know what - from here on out I want you to refer to me as male and this is my new male name and there you have it." Of course that would have to assume a large portion of people all of a sudden dropped a whole bunch of insecurities, prejudices, etc. (not to mention all the legal issues) so I'll probably never see that happen, but it's a fascinating thing to ponder. /end tangent

So back to the original topic of what T had done for me? Made me a total wreck. Made me feel like I was dying inside. I felt horrible and I just knew inside that it wasn't right. I should also note that it didn't make me look any different, but I was only on it for a very short amount of time. I'm healthy now and although my T level is higher than a normal bio female I think it IS normal for me and I'm fine where I'm at and not messing with it anymore. From what I can tell, I'm a major exception because I don't see too many people talking about ill effects after being on T.

Everyone does have to make their own decision about what they want to put in their bodies in attempt to "right" a situation or feel better about themselves. If there's no way for you to go on living without it, it might be a worthwhile decision. Otherwise, it should probably be your "last resort" decision.

[xAndrewx]

They have it right. That thing you read well... let's just say there are correct articles and then there are ones written by people who will lie because they are bitter and mean for some reason.... it's the latter category of the two.

I believe someone already suggested Hudsons ftm guide. Great incredibly great resource. Also just read up on T. Look at youtube videos. And remember, some of the severe warning (can't think of any ones specifically T related but like you would see as adverse side effects on pills) won't always happen to you. Some are rare. I was willing to take the good with the bad and the risks of loosing my hair. I'm male, I want others to see me that way and I want my outside to match my inside. If that means I have a bald outside then I'll just get a gold hoop earing, shave my head shiny, and adopt a Mr. clean look

T has made me more confident, made my dysphoria lessen, I smile and feel just altogether more... right. It has improved my mood and mellowed out my emotions, it has gotten rid of my monthly crap I used to have to deal with. I'm just happier now. I don't regret getting on it in fact I wish I could have done so sooner.

[nycknowledge]

i can go for romantic dinners with my partner and not feel like all eyes is on me that kinds of put a damper on the whole event cause how can any one enjoy them selves when there the main focus the whole time there out so now i can go out in public like any other couple with out all ways second guessing is this gonna be the day i have to defend my self from some ignorid person who is being rude i no longer have to second quest before i go out my house is this the day t shots is of the best things besides surgerys they could have done for the glsb community

[LordKAT]

i can go for romantic dinners with my partner and not feel like all eyes is on me that kinds of put a damper on the whole event cause how can any one enjoy them selves when there the main focus the whole time there out so now i can go out in public like any other couple with out all ways second guessing is this gonna be the day i have to defend my self from some ignorid person who is being rude i no longer have to second quest before i go out my house is this the day t shots is of the best things besides surgerys they could have done for the glsb community

      

[k_tech]

testosterone has brought to the surface the man i've always known was there. it has helped me be at peace with myself. increased confidence. level moods. increased strength, emotional and physical. (i wasn't exactly a wimp before T, though.) it's brought about a steadiness that i've always wanted.

[Nikolai_S]

I've been on T for 1 1/2 months. The biggest emotional/mental change I've had is social anxiety- it's dropped significantly. For about 6 years, practically every time I went out into public I felt like like I was going to die, if I was in a group of more than 2 other people I'd be sweating and shaking, incredibly self conscious, and the self consciousness would trigger dysphoric attacks. Transition itself helped some, testosterone further eased outright panic. Especially when it comes to speaking, because my voice has dropped into a reasonable range now. Other anxiety related things, like OCD compulsions, are lesser and easier to manage.

I don't hate myself now. I feel like, good or bad, this is my body. It's working in synch with me. Having this significant of a change gave me the incentive to stop self-harm and claim my body as my own.

Physically: lower voice, more muscle tone, dick growth, thicker and oilier skin, more body hair (particularly on my thighs and stomach), signs of facial hair getting ready to appear, changes to my jawline and cheeks making me appear more masculine. I'd say my passing has changed from 50% to at least 70%.

On the negative/neutral side: Around New Year's I got some pretty bad hot flashes, and I continue to overheat more easily than before. I've been slightly more impulsive, and I'll get angrier faster. I can still control it fine, but it's there. Overall, I think my moods are more level, they just have a couple of obvious blips rather than being all over the place constantly. I've been sleeping more deeply, but my sleep schedule has also gone haywire- don't know if that's related or not. I'm much hungrier - I've gained 10 lbs - and the time that's not spent thinking of food is spent thinking about sex. Ah, puberty.