stereotypical work conversation...

[marcy319]

I just wanted to bring up something that happened today at work. No real reason except to rant a bit.

Please excuse me for being a bit circumspect, as I am MtF inclined but not "out."

Some out-of-town consultants, my assistant, and another department manager (all of us male) were all jabbering away in our shared work project area about hunting, fishing, cars, sports, and military service... a continuous stream of stereotypical macho-redneck guy type conversation. I just kept working on my project, but I kept listening, trying to anticipate a response if I happened to be queried...

I was caught when one of the consultants made a statement to the effect,  "You know, after a man spends enough time fishing, he begins to realize it's not the fish he's after," with everyone present enthusiastically acknowledging the profundity of this statement. While I can appreciate this pearl of bucolic wisdom, it made me realize how surreal the whole past hour or two of banter was. It bugged me was that I had absolutely nothing I could contribute, as every bit of it was either outside my experience, or of no consequence to me.

I don't know... anyone else get this feeling?

[CaitJ]

I taught myself to grunt in appreciation of some fine nuance of masculinity (lol) and belch key words when needed.
i.e. the guys would be talking about the mechanical operation of a vehicle and whenever they appeared to make a valid point, I would grunt appreciatively. When a word came up that I'd heard before, I'd repeat the word and confirm agreement on the subject - "Turbocharger, yeah, turbocharger. Cool."
Some men are such simple creatures 

[spacial]

Yes, yes and yes again.

I completely sympathise and understand how you're feeling.

If I happen to be working with a particularly chatty crowd, I generally let them think of me as a bit of a buffoon. When the subject is football, for example, I ask if that's the one with the round ball.

[VeryGnawty]

If I happen to be working with a particularly chatty crowd, I generally let them think of me as a bit of a buffoon. When the subject is football, for example, I ask if that's the one with the round ball.

^^
This.

I've found that playing dumb is an invaluable tool if you don't want to get dragged into conversations or events that don't interest you.

[Wraith]

I may be FTM, but I feel exactly the same around guys like that. Don't think it's so much about gender, more about type of people.

[justmeinoz]

You could pick a sport that's not popular locally, (here in Australian Rules Football territory , it's Rugby League), and follow that so you can make knowledgeable statements that they can't argue with. Especially if there is no local pro team, so you don't actually have to go to a game!

Maybe lacrosse, motocross  or ice hockey etc  if you are in a place where they are not really popular.  Everyone knows they are "manly" sports, so won't look askance for you following them.

Just a thought.

[LordKAT]

I don't know... anyone else get this feeling?

Yup, ever been a guy at a baby shower?

[milktea]

i'm a football fan...

[Dana Lane]

There is one other woman who works in my office and then three males. When we have our weekly meetings often the men will start talking about the latest sports news. And I begin to write 'boring' on my notepad. After they are done I then start telling everyone how I am going to go to Daffis this weekend and buy a new purse. I go through all the colors I am thinking about...size, functionality...hehe.. they get the message.

[spacial]

Yup, ever been a guy at a baby shower?

My wife complains about that sort of thing. If we are invited to some dinner or other, the women all seem to gather in the kitchen while the men sit around. She particularly dislikes the assumption that she will like babies.

We went to a niece's wedding recently. I was chatting with her and her sister about the dresses, while my wife was chating to the men about, whatever.

But, as you know, those sort of situations don't come up too often.

[Pinkfluff]

Don't think it's so much about gender, more about type of people.

I think this is an important point. When I first read the first post, I pretty much thought "actually I don't really get that feeling, at least not with a gender element to it". I've been exposed to many conversations that I had little interest or knowledge in. If it's a friend or professional contact I try to act somewhat interested. I don't subscribe to the typical stereotypes, so some "guy things" I can talk with them about -- mechanical things because I'm an engineer or games because I'm a gamer for example. When it comes to sports I pretty much just don't say anything unless it's hockey which I used to follow. Or maybe I try to relate to the physics aspect of it, since many sports seem to involve projectile motion  

Asking a knowledgeable question can actually go a long way too. Depending on the person, they may go into a long explanation that will both keep you from having to say anything while also making them feel that you're interested. It works well with my brother at least =)

I think it does depend alot more on the specific people in question though than what gender they happen to be.

[marcy319]

Oh, I don't mean to imply that the conversational topics I mentioned were somehow intrinsically masculine, or that women cannot enjoy things like hunting, sports, or cars.

But mind you these - at least for my midwestern small-town neck of the woods - are stereotypically masculine interests and experiences. And the tone of the conversation itself - tall tales and one-upsmanship - was perhaps more intrinsically "macho" than the subject matter itself.

It made me cognizant of how my own "male" experience is pretty far removed from what is considered "typical." The result was not that I felt uncomfortable, instead I was just astonished at what was transpiring around me and how alien it seemed.