Looking back in the mirror

[Tamaki]

This morning I had something happen when I was looking in the mirror.

Normally I don't like to look at myself but when I have to, like shaving, I'm really only looking at that part of my face that I'm shaving. I don't like to see the guy staring back at me. Well, this morning I got done shaving combed my hair back and did a double take. I stared at myself for a minute and realized that for the first time ever she was staring back. I no longer saw the guy but I saw the girl that I am. I started crying, I never thought that I would see that and now I'm afraid to look again because she might be gone. It may sound stupid but it was a surprisingly powerful experience for me. Even when I wear makeup I've never seen her before.

Has anyone else had this experience? When did you first see her?

[ClaireA]

I had this happen like a month ago! It's like, no matter how well others think you pass or how they think you look dressed up, you just keep looking into the mirror and seeing, through everything, your old face, and it is heart-wrenching every time. And then, that time comes...

I had a smile for a whole week when that happened!

[JenJen2011]

I don't know what it is.
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see a non-woman's face.
The masculine features are clearly visible.
And then other times, I can't stop looking at my face
because I look all woman. It's certainly strange.
And this happens when I have make-up on and also when I don't.

[spacial]

Hanna Irene.

You go look again. That girl will still be there. She was always there, you just didn't notice before.

[Rock_chick]

It's getting harder and harder to look in the mirror and see who I used to be...it's kind of like now I get the shock when i look in the mirror and see Jaime...because I really don't expect to see him staring back at me.

[wannalivethetruth]

This happens to me also. The only difference is that...ill be thinking how good i look as soon as i walk away and 6 mins later, im back looking in the mirror and posing and seeing can i get her back. Although, sometimes she is still there

[Caith]

Hanna Irene.

You go look again. That girl will still be there. She was always there, you just didn't notice before.

This is my experience.  She's *always* been there, staring back at me from behind my eyes.

[MarinaM]

My experience is inverted. I specifically avoid the mirror in male mode because the girl in me will pick herself apart.

"Look at what you let yourself become. All that disgusting facial hair... You're lucky you're fit, what is going on with the shape of your mouth? You have the most massive head ever. Good thing some people think androgynous women are sexy, smile and look more feminine!"

Aaaand it goes on and on.

As a woman I stop by the mirror, do a quick checkup and go on my way. Not a single harmful second thought.

[VeronikaFTH]

This morning I had something happen when I was looking in the mirror.

Normally I don't like to look at myself but when I have to, like shaving, I'm really only looking at that part of my face that I'm shaving. I don't like to see the guy staring back at me. Well, this morning I got done shaving combed my hair back and did a double take. I stared at myself for a minute and realized that for the first time ever she was staring back. I no longer saw the guy but I saw the girl that I am. I started crying, I never thought that I would see that and now I'm afraid to look again because she might be gone. It may sound stupid but it was a surprisingly powerful experience for me. Even when I wear makeup I've never seen her before.

Has anyone else had this experience? When did you first see her?

Yup, this happens to me too. I don't remember when it first happened, but it still happens to me. though most of the time now I do see her constantly, she's just behind a few testosterone-induced deformities.