The Unsolicited Advice Thread (TG stuff only)

[Julie Marie]

Transition is not a cure-all.
You will have to deal with all your other problems as well.

If your family slips up on pronouns, they may not be purposefully being disrespectful.
It takes time to correct a 10, 20, 30, 40 year old habit.
Give 'em time.

If your family wigs out and can't handle your transition, that's their problem.
Tell them you'll be there if they ever want to accept you and then take the space you need (if any).
Don't abandon them completely, but don't have too high hopes either.
With time, they "might" come around.

Don't let transition become the only thing you ever talk about.
Not everyone's interested, and while yes, it will kinda take over your life for a while, it should not take it over "completely" or be allowed to spill into other people's lives more than they're remotely interested.
You don't have to tell everyone about the latest step.

[Nero]

If you idolize guys so androgynous looking they could pass for female, your best bet is to stay off T.  T is going to take you in the opposite direction to your ideal.

[CaitJ]

Oh that note:
Don't complain that taking T is making you hairy.
That's like eating sugar and complaining that it's sweet.
Or complaining that showering makes you wet.

For the girls:
No, you didn't go from AA to C cup breasts after 6 months on E. You are lying.
If, by some small chance you are not lying, then you have a particularly virulent strain of breast cancer and you're going to have to get them removed, or lose all your hair to chemotherapy. Do you still feel like broadcasting you 'good fortune' now?

[spacial]

For the girls:
No, you didn't go from AA to C cup breasts after 6 months on E. You are lying.

With respect, a little exageration of breasts is natural and expected from many girls.

That's why they invented the push up bra.

[kyril]

Dick measuring contests among trans guys are (at the very least) silly.

It's fine to dress like a butch lesbian, but if you do, you're probably going to be perceived as a butch lesbian.

If you are an adult, you always have other options besides living with your parents. You might not like them, but they exist.

Similarly, you always have other options besides living with your spouse/significant other. You may not like them, but they exist.

Whether or not you go on T, you won't look like a pretty teenage boy forever. Decide whether you want to look like a 45-year-old masculine woman (who may or may not pass as male with some effort) or a 45-year-old man. Plan accordingly.

[JohnR]

Decide how much your need to eat and have your bills paid for you outweighs your need to tell your parents/guardians that they don't have the right to an opinion about your transness.

Or get a job and get the hell out of there.

[Ashleyjadeism]

My number one bit of advice...

STOP assuming everyone is stereotyping you... Most of the time, nobody is looking at you or making fun of you... If you expect people to hate you, then everyone seems like they hate you... But really THEY COULDN'T CARE LESS...

[Julie Marie]

If you care about passing, act like it.  Don't get all girled up and then speak in your guy's voice - unless you are trying to shock someone.

[CaitJ]

Whenever someone asks for advice, please resist the urge to insert into your 'advice' any of the following:

- how passable you are,
- how handsome/beautiful you are,
- how you have AIS or PCOS,
- how everyone accepts you as 100% woman/man,
- how you don't fall into negative stereotype X or Y,
- how you DO fall into positive stereotype X or Y,
- how big your breasts/dick are compared to everyone else in the thread
- and lastly, just plain stop being a grandstanding jackass in someone's advice thread.

If you want everyone to know how effing AMAZING you are compared to everyone else, start your own damn thread entitled "I am an arrogant wanker; please come into this thread and watch me arrogantly wank all over myself. Towels optional."

[Dana Lane]

Whenever someone asks for advice, please resist the urge to insert into your 'advice' any of the following:

- how passable you are,
- how handsome/beautiful you are,
- how you have AIS or PCOS,
- how everyone accepts you as 100% woman/man,
- how you don't fall into negative stereotype X or Y,
- how you DO fall into positive stereotype X or Y,
- how big your breasts/dick are compared to everyone else in the thread
- and lastly, just plain stop being a grandstanding jackass in someone's advice thread.

If you want everyone to know how effing AMAZING you are compared to everyone else, start your own damn thread entitled "I am an arrogant wanker; please come into this thread and watch me arrogantly wank all over myself. Towels optional."

And don't blame your trans-status on a bee sting. :-)

[LordKAT]

Don't rag on someone until you have made a reasonable effort to understand what they were trying to say. If you still question it, ask don't accuse.

[Elijah3291]

it seems this thread is becoming less of an advice for newly transitioning transsexuals thread, and more of a 'don't do this, i find it annoying' thread.  I'm not a moderator of course, but, just sayin'

main advice I have for trans guys, 2 things.

1.   Just because you have your T letter, doesnt mean you will get T, I had to wait months to get an appointment with a dr, so plan in advance

2. T isnt the cure all, (others have mentioned this too) yea, t has helped me A LOT, but I still hate my body, and I am still and will always be transsexual.

[Cruelladeville]

Ignore overly verbose, self-proclaiming twats.... on forum groups that assume that only one way- there way - de facto rules work for all...

Oh yeah lest i forget.... and any surgery not done in 'Thailand' is somewhat 3rd rate over-priced and lacking.....??

*s->-bleeped-<-s*

AND IF THEY SHOUT LOUDEST.... they must always be right....??

And more quietly I'd add - to quote from Ghandi

The weak can never forgive.... forgiveness is the attribute of the strong....

And no matter where you venture continue to grow and evolve...

Constant development is the law of life - and a person that always tries to maintain dogmas in order to appear consistent - drives himself into a false position...

[Pinkfluff]

A few of my own:

If someone uses the wrong pronoun for you, say so, and then say it again if they haven't gotten the message. Most people won't want to be drawn into an argument.

Don't stress alot over physical appearance. Just do the best you can then focus on doing what you need to do that day.

Despite what your parents may have told you as a child, education alone won't get you a job.

Don't fight fair if you don't have to.